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For those with S/O, Married...

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by danielsmom, Aug 4, 2011.

  1. danielsmom

    danielsmom Approved members

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    Does one of you worry more than the other?>.. My dh is wonderful about taking care of Daniel....but he doesn't worry the way I do(guess thats a females perrogative)...I"m the one researching.. I"m the one with the questions.. I"m the one that decided I need to keep checking at least once through the night(thanks to you all lol)...to make sure Daniel is doing well.. Since Endo said I didn't have to worry about night checks(again based on his activity and if he's ill thats a different story).. My dh chooses to sleep...oh well.. I do what I gotta do...Endo told us that based on 150 patient he's taken care of in the last 3 years.... he's only had 3 emergencies of lows and using Glucogen(and one had to do with giving too much insulin I think)....anyhows that was enough to make my dh happy....AS for me...guess I'll be the one checking forever lol(till my boy is older and ready to conquer the world on his own).. So do you and your S/O see eye to eye on everything?
     
  2. ehacker

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    I thinks it defiantly a male/female thing. Im the same way, always researching, going to classes at the endo's office. My husband not so muchwhe. he worries only n it gets to a point you cant not worry. Also he does not get this site..asked me the other day if it really helped me to et on here and talk to you guys...:cwds:
     
  3. Sarah Maddie's Mom

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    Imho, a dx of diabetes just magnifies already existing family dynamics. If the parents had strict division of labor prior to dx, and if mom was the primary parent then mom will probably be the primary care giver for D matters. If the parents had a more equitable division of labor then chances are mom and dad will share things more evenly post dx.
     
  4. manda81

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    In the beginning, I did almost everything. Same happened when they were born though. :p Now that we are 3+ years into this, I'd say it's about 70/30. I'm a stay home mom, so I deal with that just fine. I do the day to day, I am the only one who changes rates/ratios. If there is a problem, I'm the go-to.

    But that said, when he comes home from work now, he takes over dinner/snacks before bed. On Friday/Saturday night, he does the night checks & lets me sleep all night. He pretty much runs weekends.

    If he runs into an issue though, he will wake me up. If he comes across something he's unsure of, he definitely asks me, and I do all the reading/research.

    I think after a while, it all takes it's toll, and he noticed how completely exhausted I was. I needed to get out! So it started with little things (like me leaving for the evening for girls night out, or mani/pedis ... a few hours here or there) and then he really stepped up once he got more confident.
     
  5. danielsmom

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    Well I will say this.. my dh seems much more confident than me lol...I'm getting a break..he and Daniel went to an Angels Baseball game...so maybe I should get some snoozing in early and be ready for my nightly check...I don't mind being the one checking at night...oh well que sera sera....he does equal on shots and food through the day though..
     
  6. TheTestingMom

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    I'm the leader when it comes to D. I go to all the doctors appointments, I take the education classes, I do all the research, etc. He is amazing about estimating carbs. I'm a black and white kind of gal. I weigh measure count etc etc. He's great about eye-balling (he's a good one to have at restaurants). Makes out to be a good match. He's great to bounce things off of like going 'against' the pump recommendations. He's awesome when it comes to carbs during exercising, I really suffer in that area, but I'm feeling more confident as time goes by....kinda :) What I do flip out about is his lack of BG testing before eating. I hope, after all my melt downs he is coming around. :rolleyes:
     
  7. Tigerlilly's mom

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    I agree!!!:cwds:
     
  8. DsMom

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    Same here. I think the only time that my DH thinks about D is at mealtimes or if he needs to check him before exercising. I think of it at least once an hour, often more, and am also the one doing the researching, reading the online journals, and getting great info from everyone here! He definitely has basic care down, but I am the one who knows how to handle overnights, do more complicated boluses, and worry about A1cs.

    That said, it doesn't really bug me. I could not NOT be the one in control. If he were doing it, I'd be hovering over his shoulder constantly asking questions anyway. I do wonder how he can stand NOT knowing what's going on, but it's just a personality thing.
     
  9. Kaylas mom

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    Dh is really hands off when it comes to the kids medical. He knows his stuff and likes to tell me what I should do, he just doesn't want to do it himself. He works 70+ hours a week, I am part time and don't work at all during the summer so it isn't like I really mind. I think though I got a little irritated the other night when Kayla was sick and I was going to bed and he says.. so, you going to check her tonight? ummmm.. like who else would?

    He is out of town for a week and has yet to ask how any of the kids are doing.
     
  10. Bearkev

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    As far as getting up at night, I think I tend to do that more than DW. I would rather be safe than sorry when it comes to that. And I'm also the one that researches more. However, she is the one who is more hands-on when it comes to handling the pump (changing basals & I:C ratios).
     
  11. tbcarrick

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    There is not really an equal sharing,but Brandon is 15..so he does 95% by himself..My husband did go to all the classes and does help,but I get a lot more stressed out over stuff.No,he really doesn't understand why I get on here either.I tell him it's cause it makes me feel better when I read good days,things,and also bad days because it lets me know that stuff happens and that it's okay.I think moms just want to take care of everyone..and to talk things out with other women..:)
     
  12. danielsmom

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    Okay...so I see I'm not alone lol...guess it is what it is..and yes I want to be in control to the extent know exactly every detail....but like today with the lantus mistake...him calling me to find out ratios for morning..is a big NO...he's been asking me every morning...finally I posted it on the fridge yesterday and today in my panic of giving the wrong insulin I yelled:p he needed to memorize the numbers..cause in an emergency and I'm not around what's he going to do? Crap!...anyhow...lesson for both...
     

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