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First sneaking food and lying about it

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by zuzinka, Mar 19, 2013.

  1. zuzinka

    zuzinka Approved members

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    So we have our first Lie behind us. For the last 3 weeks my 6 year old daughter was going upto 300 in school and we could not find out why. She swore, she did not eat anything else, but today with confrontation with another girl, the other girl told me she eats 2-3 bisquits from her lunch box everyday. How do you handle this? Firs I could not believe it bacause my daughter was crying and saying the girl is lying. After about half hour of me investigating she at the end said that yes she does ask her to give some.
    I have shouted at her a bit, tried to explain how dangerous it is if she eats and does not give insulin. She swore, she would never do it again but I am not sure what to do. She can almost always eat what she wants and if high she keeps all the sweets in the box for hypos.

    Pls help
     
  2. sooz

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    I think I would buy some cookies for her lunch, count the carbs and include the carbs in her insulin. Ask her to help you plan what goes into her lunch.
     
  3. momoftwingirls

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    Sorry to hear what happened. I think the best thing you can do is explain to her like you did how dangerous it's to lie on what she eats because she can get really sick. The education route is the best way to go because you are not going to be with her all the time. The other thing you can do is tell her school friends not to share food with her because she needs to eat her own food and also talk to her teacher.

    Good luck i have 21 month old twins one with t1d and I have to always supervise meals and snack time because I discovered that during snack time she was taking her sisters snack and it was causing a spike.

    Sorry I don't have better advise but hope I hope you approach her in a way that she could always talk to you without fearing that you will be mad at her.
     
  4. Deal

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    Absolutely what Sooz said. You are mad at the disease not your daughter. She is doing what kids do. Let her know that you support her having more to eat when she wants and will find a way to get her insulin to match.

    Handle it well now and you may get lucky and not have it come back at you bigger in a few years.
     
  5. Beach bum

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    Without being accusatory or getting into a shouting and crying match with your daughter, sit down and speak to her about the importance of getting insulin for everything she eats. So, if she is hungry and wants something else, that's OK. She just needs to tell someone so she gets what she needs. Discuss with her how it will make her feel lousy without the insulin and you don't want her to feel sick.

    I guess that she just wants to be like everyone else at school and wants cookies (aka biscuits) in her lunch box too. Give her some also and include it in her lunch bolus.

    This is one battle that if a huge deal is made out of it, will turn into a much bigger battle as she gets older. Diabetes stinks. No argument there. But, your daughter is only 6, and sometimes, this is just what 6 year olds do:cwds:
     
  6. Amy C.

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    Sounds like she wants a snack. See if you can arrange she get insulin for her snack. Life on insulin doesn't have to be that regimented - one does need insulin for the carbs eaten.
     
  7. Sarah Maddie's Mom

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    I just want to echo the above comments. And also to suggest that you pull back from the "danger" talk. A cookie is not "dangerous", a 300 blood sugar is not "dangerous". Beach Bum is spot on - it will make your dd feel bad to have a cookie without insulin and it's important to stress that you want her to feel her best and be able to have a cookie and to do that she needs a bit of insulin.

    D kids in general, and D girls in particular are so much more at risk of eating disorders that you do not want to make any foods appear to be off limits or toxic. Food is complicated enough when you have to dose for almost everything, no need to make it even more complicated by laying on guilt, shame and fear.

    I know they lying is probably bothering you more than the eating of the cookie, but it's a long, long road and if she's made to feel too constrained the lying will continue. You two are a team and you are her first teacher when it comes to learning how the balance her diabetes and her life - stress the problem solving rather than the problem.
     
  8. StillMamamia

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    What the others said. Plus, she's 6, she's growing all the time, she will be hungrier at times. Get her to tell you what she'd like to take as snack and praise her for telling you when she eats something and lets you know. Please try to hold back on the scare part.:cwds:
     
  9. zuzinka

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    thanks all for the replies. Yes, I am more upset about lying to me than cookie. She knows she can have if she wants one and she gets it regularly. I also understand when she sees other kids lunch boxes filled with all the junk makes her to be tempted to try. I have tried to talk to her today, she promised she will never lie again, so lets see.
     
  10. Sarah Maddie's Mom

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    LOL, oh she will :p Even the vey best of kids, the most honest, good, lovingly parented kids tell "stories" when they are confronted with a situation they feel they cannot manage. It would happen with or without D. D just makes it more complicated and when you as a parent are working so very hard to keep the blood sugar in check, the food lie is like a punch to the gut.
     
  11. Turtle1605

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    I attended a short seminar about this very issue. The one thing I took away from the seminar is to separate the issues completely. I know...easier said than done. As a parent we discipline the bad act, not the diabetes. The suggestion that was made was to address the lie but to not mention anything about diabetes at all during the conversation. Then, at a later time have a discussion with the child. Emphasis was put on the word "discussion" because the child should be engaged in talking about the problem (high blood sugar levels) and suggesting solutions. This is important because the child needs to know that he/she does have some control over this disease considering they are in the marathon for the long haul.

    Having said that, one of the main reasons we got the pump was to eliminate the need for a super strict eating schedule. From day one, my rule has been that my son can eat anything he wants as long as he tells me what he is eating and he puts it in his pump (keep in mind I try not to buy the really evil foods). He can also do this at school as long as he tells his teacher so she will be aware and as long as he tells me that he had something extra. I have also always tried super hard to be as casual as possible when reminding him of this. We have had some mishaps though.

    For example, one evening I noticed his blood sugar was at 350ish at 3:00. I calmly told him (while trying my best to not pass out from anxiety) that he was 350 at 3:00 and asked him if he thought we needed to make some adjustments to his basal rate or carb ratio or if he maybe ate something he forgot to put in his pump. He sat thinking for a minute and then responded, "oh yeah, I had two snickers and forgot to put them in my pump". Then I just said, "oh ok. Just remember you have to put everything in your pump so I'll know whether we need to make changes ". His response was "ok mommy". I think in the year he's been in the pump, he's forgotten to enter something on two occasions.

    The one time he did withhold information from me was when he decided to trade lunches with a friend (insert mommy having a heart attack here). His blood sugar sky rocketed, but again...I just asked him what he thought we should do. After he told me what happened, I asked him why he traded lunches. He told me what his friend had was better. My solution was to tell him if he noticed someone else had a better looking lunch to tell me when he got home and then we could fix him that same good looking lunch for the next day. So far, that has worked and luckily he seldom talks about it anymore.
     
  12. nanhsot

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    Separate the two issues, lying and diabetes. She's very young and I believe strongly that children that young do not "lie", they spin their wishes into reality. Here's an article that may help.

    http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/di...ls-manners/lying-5-reasons-kids-lie-–-what-do

    I'd support her in always being honest, explain calmly and patiently (and know you'll repeat this over many times) why she needs to be honest about her eating. She's at an age where this type behavior (wishful thinking) is very very common and expected. It just so happens that in the case of diabetes the consequences can be tough, but remember that high numbers on occasion aren't going to cause any huge problems, so keep it in perspective.
     
  13. obtainedmist

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    This is a promise that most children (and many adults) cannot keep. Just to be realistic about it, you might want to look at what's behind the lying now and in the future. From our experience, that line of calm questioning led to some very honest conversations about peer pressure, anxieties, and issues the kids were dealing with. Most kids have their "push the envelope" moments off and on...I believe it's very natural and part of their learning how to be in the world.
     
  14. Heather(CA)

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    If you give insulin before she eats, try after so that she can tell the nurse if she ate more...
     
  15. Mish

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    This. You are allowed to discipline the lie. It does help to remember why she lied, but you can still discipline that behavior if you would have disciplined it otherwise.

    There is a sticky with the "Joe S video" at the top of this forum. It is more about teens but it's really good for all ages as far as discipline and diabetes. It's worth a viewing.
     
  16. pianoplayer4

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    The PP's have some really great advice, so I won't repeat it... all I have to add is that when I was in elementary school (12 years ago) no one was allowed to share food and you got in big trouble for it... regardless of diabetes. does your school have a similar rule?
     
  17. zuzinka

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    thanks all for the replies, She has got punished for lying, not eating cookies and she knows that. In the school unfortunately kids are swapping food all the time but for now she is not allowed to swap anything with anyone and eats only her stuff.
    I have bought some of the sweet treats she will chose to take with her to school but gets insulin for.
    Today finally after a long time he numbers were beautiful.
     
  18. mmc51264

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    Zach has been doing it for a long time. It started about 7 (he is 9 now). We have told him he can eat, he just has to give insulin. I think it his way of trying to "show" big bad D who is boss. I really don't think it is about being hungry or lying, it is his way of defying/denying the disease. It breaks my heart. I just hope it doesn't get worse as he gets older.
     
  19. hawkeyegirl

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    She's on the pump. Very easy to prebolus and still give a second dose if she eats more than originally dosed for. Prebolusing is a good habit, and not one that they probably want to break.
     
  20. Heather(CA)

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    OK, that makes sense, I didn't realize she was on the pump:cwds:
     

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