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Extra sad at Christmastime...3 mos since diagnosis

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by aherbrand, Dec 23, 2012.

  1. aherbrand

    aherbrand Approved members

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    My sweet little 6 yr old boy was diagnosed almost exactly 3 months ago. I find this extra sadness growing inside of me as we near Christmas, and I'm not really sure why. Perhaps the sentiments of the season make it that much easier to reflect on the life I had imagined for him, versus the life now laid out before him.

    On the other hand, DH and I have begun talking about looking at pumps :), so I'm hoping that will give me some renewed hope.

    Wishing you all a merry, beautiful, sweet ;) holiday!
     
  2. sooz

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    It is easy to get sad sometimes, especially when we are over tired with holiday preparations. The thing is, there are very, very few things your son won't be able to do because of his D. Pro football? No problem. Race car driver or Olympic athlete, no problem. Supreme court judge, no problem. Great husband and daddy, no problem. It will all become clearer to you as time goes by, and you will love having a pump! D will actually make him a stronger person in some ways. He will be able to soar!
     
  3. Christopher

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    Your feelings at this stage are natural. However, make sure that as time goes by, you realize that your son's life is not "laid out" for him in some pre-determined manner. It will be what he makes of it. Just like all of our lives are. We all have our crosses to bear, diabetes or not, and it is the manner by which we bear them that determines our happiness and success our lives are filled with. Also remember that the approach you take to his diabetes will impact him significantly and will, in many ways, color the way he approaches his illness.
     
  4. Turtle1605

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    My little boy was diagnosed about 4 weeks before Christmas last year. To be honest, I tried to keep a smile on my face for my children and cried in my room, car, shower, etc. every chance I got. I was an emotional wreck and it was the only Christmas season I ever lost weight in my life...about 15 pounds because I couldn't eat.

    Your sadness is part of the healing process. Please know that it is a process and things WILL GET BETTER. I've no doubt you are overwhelmed in every way and very tired, which makes matters worse.

    Having said all of that, you will get into a routine and the overall experience will get MUCH EASIER before too long. You will have ups and downs (just as I still do in adjusting basals and boluses and getting completely stumped by stubborn glucose levels) but overall it will become second nature to you. Most importantly, YOUR CHILD WILL BE FINE!!!

    Others may disagree, but this is how I think of it...I think that before too long they will cure this disease or at least make so much progress in medical devices/treatment that having diabetes will not be nearly as invasive as it is now. My job is to keep his heart, liver, kidneys, eyes, toes and all of his other parts as healthy as I possibly can (by helping him learn how to control his glucose levels) so that when they do make major breakthroughs, he will be perfectly healthy.

    I will tell you that on New Year's Eve, we watched fireworks and my son was cheering with excitement and yelled to me that it was the best night of his life. I will remember those words forever. It was the first time I realized that the disease wasn't controlling his life. I suggest you go out and rent the funniest movies you can possibly watch, check out a joke book from a library, whatever you can do that makes you laugh and laugh together. It will do wonders for your emotional state...trust me on this...you having nothing to lose.

    Also, never hesitate to do everything you would normally do. Actually, make yourself do them if you have to. My son also eats everything he would normally eat during Christmas...we just try to eat the really good, fatty, sugary stuff early in the day so we're not up all night correcting.

    Finally, I did visit with my doctor shortly after Christmas and he prescribed an anti-anxiety medicine for me that helped me tremendously. My doctor's response to my situation was that if it were him, he would be in the same place I was. So, don't hesitate to talk with your doctor as I bet he/she will completely understand.

    P.S. I think you'll love the pump!
     
  5. Sarah Maddie's Mom

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    Firsts are just hard. :( But really, it will be ok and hopefully the holiday spirit will be greater than the sadness.:cwds:
     
  6. Williamsville mommy

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    My daughter was dx decemer 19th last year. We got home from the hospital on Christmas eve. I feel your pain. I could barely get myself out of bed and everyone wanted to celebrate Christmas. Well, I was sorry but I was not much in to celebrating last year. I am however, looking forward this time, it will be better than last year for sure. You need time to grieve. It took me a good three months to not cry every shower I took, every chance I was alone, driving in the ar, you name the place, i cried a river.

    Be strong, but allow yourself to feel.. Whatever you are feeling and however you are handling it, is right for you, and for your little one..
    And, p.s. Anti anxiety medication helped me for the first six months too, not gonna kid ya.

    Good luck, and merry Christmas.
     
  7. aherbrand

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    Thanks so much...it has been so helpful to read your replies. I'm going to do my best to enjoy the season : )
     
  8. Lee

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    This! My daughter was diagnosed a few days after Christmas. I wish she had been diagnosed before so she would have felt better. If it helps, know that your son is not thinking about diabetes at all this Christmas.
     
  9. DsMom

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    Absolutely...none of us has a clear path in life. I never imagined I would be the mom of a CWD...and yet here I am. One part of your son's "path" has changed...he now gets his insulin from the outside rather than the inside. Other than that...what can't he do now that you wished for him before? Eat candy? He can do that. Do well in school and have lots of friends? He can do that. Play sports? He can do that. Pursue higher education and get a great job? Fall in love and get married? Have kids and grandkids? Live a full and satisfying life? He can do ALL that. Have a life free of worries, bumps in the road, frustration, disappointment...well...none of us can have that.

    His path is still as clear as it could have been before dx...make sure he knows that, and he will be fine.
     
  10. pianoplayer4

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    I had a hard time my first Christmas with d... your first everything with d is hard because all your memories aren't tainted by diabetes and finger pricks.... and its not going to be like that any more=( everyone says just to not make it about d, but the reality is diabetes will be part of your day.... but it doesn't have to be the most memorable part=D you'll get through it and next year won't be as hard ((( hugs))))
     
  11. Williamsville mommy

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    Loved what you said. Hit home with me too. Perfect. Thank u for your input
     
  12. cm4kelly

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    We have all been there

    Everyone here has been through the anger and sadness, and still visit there from time to time. It is all normal.

    I can't believe all of the people who posted about anxiety meds. I thought I was the ONLY ONE! During the first year, I had actual panic attacks, and I have never taken a medication in my life! The doctor prescribed me anti anxiety medication - which I took on days that were going to be off a normal schedule.

    I haven't taken any in about a year, but still have some in the cabinet for the days that I feel panic and worry coming on.

    Time has helped for me too with everything - including my own anxiety. We are three years in -

    Thank God for a wonderful child and enjoy your Christmas! You deserve it!
     
  13. Debdebdebby13

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    I understand the feeling, my DD was diagnosed last December, and the beginning of the Christmas season brought back a LOT of feelings I had at this time last year.

    One year out though, it is a very "normal" part of our life routine. DD still does all of the stuff she did before (also 6 years old), plays sports, runs around like a crazy maniac and is still the same child she was before. We just pay more attention to how she is feeling.

    This year to celebrate one year of living with diabetes and everybody being in once piece we went to a restaurant and DD had a big piece of chocolate cake and an Italian cream soda. I want to make happy memories to associate with D, rather than sad ones. That said, my DD still gets her fair share of treats like any kid, but we celebrated it with the big cake :)

    Your feelings are justified, and it will get better over time!
     
  14. Becky Stevens mom

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    This is so normal:cwds: You are still grieving. I think we all go through that period of grief and sadness at the loss of normalcy maybe, what felt comfortable and average for us. There is so much to learn at first, and Christmas can be rough. Youre trying to do everything perfectly and keep blood sugars under complete control, thats hard anytime;) but then throw in the excitement of Christmas and the foods and the break from school. Schedules are out the window! And you want your child to be a child and not have to deal with finger sticks and insulin injections especially on Christmas. Seems too unfair doesnt it? I hope you all had a wonderful magical day. I hope that Santa brought some really fun toys for the kids and that you had the special gift of hearing their laughter and seeing how excited they were on Christmas morning :cwds:
     

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