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Does it get easier

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by coeen, Mar 4, 2012.

  1. coeen

    coeen Approved members

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    I hope that dealing with this gets better. Somedays I can barely make it.
    I cry every day about it. I try and think it is just a number and can work with it but then it doesn't always work. I hate giving my little man shots. I just feel soo bad. I know it is saving his life. He never sees my cry. I wouldn't do that to him. I hate the meter too. I think I have lost 10 pounds since he has been diagnosed. I just seem nervous all the time about him. I watch him like a hawk. I don't want to be like that with him. I want him to be a little boy whose mother doesn't hold him back.
     
  2. obtainedmist

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    Hugs to you right now! It really does get easier. Your confidence will grow and grow and life will have it's normal ups and downs...but you'll deal with it all and grow as a family. As a caregiver, you really have to take good care of yourself. If you need to speak with a professional, I'm sure you could get a referral from your endo's office. My husband received an enormous amount of help from meeting with a therapist a few times. Maybe you just need to schedule some "me" time and do something you love. If you don't have a good support network where you are, maybe you could do some problem-solving to find ways to get a bit of help here and there.

    Feeling overwhelmed with worry is very natural at first. Your little guy sounds terrific...this dx won't stop him from doing ANYTHING in life! There might need to be a bit more planning to get it done...but the possibilities are LIMITLESS!:)
     
  3. MamaLibby

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    I agree with the PP! I was just looking at old pictures with the kids and wondering how in the world i survived that first year!
    To be honest...it never gets easier, you just get better at it. You'll adjust. Your kids will adjust. You'll learn more and get more comfortable with D. Your kids will become more independent and at some point, diabetes will just fade into the background sometimes. Big hugs to you and yours until you get there :cwds:
     
  4. Lani

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    Yes, it does get easier. There will always be ups and downs - but you and your family will adjust. It has become our new "normal" and you will get there too. What you are feeling is completely normal now. I think most parents go through a grieving process after diagnosis and reality sinks in. (hugs to you) Be patient with yourself - you sound like a wonderful mother.
     
  5. Mommy For Life

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    (((hugs))) it is hard to see the light when your entire world just came crashing down. I get it. The top 3 places I cried most frequently at, after DD's dx, were the grocery store, my car and the shower. I could have filled a lake or two with my tears. It has only been 6 months since my sweet girl was diagnosed. I promise you, just like the above posters have said, you will see the light and your life will have a new normal. It will get easier! Don't hesitate to seek support from a close friend, family member, your church or even a counselor. You will one day offer these same words of support to another CWD member, but for now we are here to give it to you. :cwds:
     
  6. Jasmine'smummy

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    I hope it get's easier too. Although my daughter is 7, nearly 8 so nowhere near as young as your son, I am thankful for that.

    I know what you mean about watching them like a hawk - I try really hard to act the same way I did pre dx, but I'm finding it very difficult. Everything seems dangerous at the moment!

    My daughter has taken to getting into bed for a cuddle in the morning - I hate having to spoil it by asking her test and then giving her insulin. However, I do think that cuddle keeps us both going and it seems to have become part of our routine.

    Sara. xx
     
  7. Beach bum

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    The feelings you are experiencing are perfectly normal. You are still in the mourning process. In time, it will get better, things won't go back to normal, because they can't but you and your family will find a new normal. Seven years in, I still have a bad day here and there, but I tell myself, the good days outnumber the bad and I am always thankful for that.

    I hope that dealing with this gets better. Somedays I can barely make it.
    I cry every day about it.

    If you are feeling overwhelmed to the point where you are obsessed with diabetes and numbers, I would consider talking to someone. Many of us here, including myself, have benefited from therapy.


    I try and think it is just a number and can work with it but then it doesn't always work.
    In time, you will find that it's just a number, some are high, some are low. The importance is to not become all consumed by the numbers and to not let your child see any negative reactions with your face. I didn't realize that when my daughter had a number out of range, I'd have this surprised or concerned look on my face and that it made her nervous. Now, I've learned through some wise people here, that you just say, "thanks for letting me test you, or hmm, I wonder what's going on?"


    I hate giving my little man shots. I just feel soo bad. I know it is saving his life.
    He never sees my cry. I wouldn't do that to him. I hate the meter too.

    We all hate doing this. It stinks and there's no dancing around this one. However, it's great that your son is OK with getting the shots and finger pokes. My daughter ran and hid for about the first 3 months.


    I think I have lost 10 pounds since he has been diagnosed.

    I did too, gained it back plus some:eek:

    I just seem nervous all the time about him. I watch him like a hawk. I don't want to be like that with him. I want him to be a little boy whose mother doesn't hold him back.

    He will be that little boy. In time. In the early days, we've all watched our kids like hawks, we were helicopter mothers and fathers. Most of us realize the importance of giving them the freedom to be who they want to be and can let go. Baby Steps. See if there is a diabetes day camp near you, that's how we started out. Now, she goes to overnight camp.

    As I said, it will take time, but things will get better!
     
  8. Williamsville mommy

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    I..I know I haven't talked to in a few days. I too have just had a night where I just cried, looking at my innocent little one and cried...cried for the life we once knew, cried for the fact that this will be her life forever, and cried just because I really hate diabetes....and then I woke up and felt better...allow yourself to grieve, allow yourself to be mad, sad, and what ever else you are feeling, so normal....I hate the number thing to...I think I am doing everything righ, which I know I am.....and she is 350....!!!!!! But then 3 hours later back down to 120, so I try to forget the number and try as much as I can to let her be..be....be 2 1/2..... I have a rep coming on Monday from animus, will keep you posted.....hugs to you and your family...
     
  9. Becky Stevens mom

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    You sound like me 7 1/2 years ago;) I was a nervous wreck! I would cringe after the blood test waiting for the meter to beep. And if it was a high number I wanted to cry. I was always happy and cheerful in front of Steven. If the number was high I would say Hmm, wonder why that is, then go pour through his log books trying to figure out what I'd done wrong.

    And yes, I would watch him and ask him if he felt ok. One day we were driving back from somewhere. He must have been about 4 1/2 and I asked if he was feeling ok. He started yelling at me and crying. I thought he was very low and pulled over quick. He screamed at me that he didnt want me asking him if he was ok all the time:( I didnt realize that I had done it that much but I cut back alot after that.

    I felt like no one understood me. Other parents at the school seemed so happy and carefree, they would complain about not being able to find a good babysitter or their childs issues with sleeping. And I felt envious of them. I wanted to worry about stuff like that again dammit!:mad:

    But it did get better:) It took time, but it did get better. I cant say that every day is peaches and cream or that our lives are perfect (Who's is?) but my boy is busy, he's interested in alot of things, he enjoys his life so much and really doesnt let the diabetes affect him too much. The other day we had an endo appt and the CDE was mentioning that, how Steven doesnt seem bothered by the diabetes and he replied "It's just something that I have to deal with" I figure its just something that I have to deal with too:cwds:

    Dont you worry a bit. You wont hold him back, he wont let you;)
     
  10. dzirbel

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    I still have my "I can't believe she really has a lifetime illenss" days and we are 10 days shy of her 1 yr diagnosis anniversary.

    It's true that things aren't necessarily easier but you will become a pro at carb counting, drawing up insulin, organizing all those million supplies, knowing when your child is low or high (sometimes) by their behavior, recognizing foods that effect their blood sugar differently.

    Baby steps...I have learned to appreciate those "almost in range" days or hours or when diabetes was forgotten about for just an hour or two. I too cried a lot in the shower or the car. IT'S NOT FAIR!! But I am amazed at the beautiful young girl I have. She is so resiliant, strong, smart and caring.
     
  11. Flutterby

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    It definitely gets easier. As he grows (being that young is so hard!) and you get more confident things do get easier and a all this becomes a new normal. There are times that I remember walking out of her room at night and saying 'I give up!'. I'd come out to the living room and cry. After correction after correction hadn't worked. I would blow off steam and then realized that I CAN'T give up because its her life then I'd go back in her room and do another correction or site change or bg/ketone check on a little child. Those times are few and far between now. There are definitely times that I feel like giving up, but it certaintly doesn't happen as often. As you go furthar along and the more you learn and get comfortable with making decisions it all just becomes second nature. I'd say the hardest times in a diagnoses are the several months AFTER the first few weeks. Its when it gets old, its not 'new' anymore and you start to realize that THIS is what life is going to be now. You are right in that zone, but I promise you, the skies will clear and things will get better.
     
    Last edited: Mar 5, 2012
  12. coeen

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    Wow!! Thanks everybody. I did finally today talk to my family about this. Part of it was hiding this from them because they live so far away. I didn't want them to worry. My sister was like ... awesome. She knew that for me to be like this that it was bad for me. I never cry to my family. Today I did and I feel better already. I think I will also look for some kind of therapy too.
    There are support groups here but they are on the nights I can't go. Bummer.
    I even cracked open a bottle of wine tonight. Haven't done that since he was diagnosed. Maybe because I am just whining.....:rolleyes:
    Thanks again.
     
  13. danielsmom

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    ...Lets see 8 months into this has it gotten easier...somewhat yes...has the pain of it all lesson...No...I think I still obsess about it a little too much...I hate giving shots..I still stress waiting to see the number on the meter...but I don't panic as I did over the highs and lows(as much LOL)....I still ask "how you doing"..but not every 5 minutes like before...I've learned how his body works and feel more confident about corrections and changes to make....I will tell you though that I am planning on getting some counseling...I am feeling overwhelmed.. Not just by D mind you...life is so hectic...spread myself so thin...just need to vent and learn some coping skills...But Daniel is happy...does it all..plays hard....is confident..is as smart as ever....he is only becoming a better human being each and every day..

    Managing is easier.....learning every day....But there is still anger and tears I carry in my heart..and I don't know if that will ever fully go away...But life goes one..with D or not..life goes on..
     
  14. rsdbmom

    rsdbmom New Member

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    It does get easier

    We are 2.5 years in and it does get easier. My daughter is on the pump now that has made a huge difference. The carb counting is a lot easier, but I've still got a hole in my heart. It still makes me sad, but I try not to think about it and focus on how well she is doing.

    I recently started writing articles on Hub pages. Some of my articles are about Type 1. I have many more planned. I didn't realize I had so much so say but saying it really helped me.

    The first article I wrote was about living in the eye of a hurricane--that's what I think Type 1 is like. I hope you'll take a minute to read it...

    http://susanm23b.hubpages.com/hub/Life-in-the-Eye-of-a-Hurricane-Life-with-Type-1-Diabetes

    I wish you the best. I know how hard it is.
     
  15. blufickle

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    I'm not a parent of a type 1, but I figured I'd reply to tell you that it does get easier. I was 5 when I was diagnosed back in 1965. My parents gave me total control of my urine testing (no home glucose machine for me until 1982), boiling/sterilizing my glass syringe, filling the syringe correctly and injecting myself, and my meals at the age of 9. My parents just stopped doing anything with my diabetes. It was left up to me.

    I have never been hospitalized for any type of diabetic related problem. I have no complications due to being a diabetic. So your son will survive. If I survived managing the disease by myself at the age of 9, your son will be okay because you are there for him, watching him and giving him advice when he needs it.
     
  16. spamid

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    I don't post often anymore, but as another parent who has been doing this for a long time, your son will be fine. And I agree with what Becky said, he won't let you hold him back. He will become the expert, and you will be amazes as you learn to let go.

    (((HUGS))))
     
  17. VinceysMom

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    Ah, sounds like the grieving process...i lost 10+ lbs, too, i was at 100 lbs..eeks ... and i cried all the time, I was a total wreck. It is a process, and it may take time, but you will get there...everyone is different in how they deal with the diagnosis... Some take meds ( i think i overdid the meds, when i stopped the zanax i started to feel better about everything :eek: ) ... So hang in there... in time, you will get better.

    - Kathy:cwds:
     

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