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Does anyone have a D.A.D.?

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by DiabetesMama, Oct 26, 2015.

  1. Ali

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    All very odd. Sorry, you have had such an awful time. I actually have never heard of a trained dog that would jump and nip a child. The number one thing one trains a dog to do from puppyhood on is to not open the mouth around anyone.
     
  2. swellman

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    It wasn't trained ... at all.
     
  3. DiabetesMama

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    He was 4 to 5 months old and he hadn't been trained at all. The foster mom began his training last night with a professional trainer. While he was with us, we tried to get him to stop nipping and jumping for our son's face. When he started crying because he was scared, I knew we had a problem. We were willing to train and work with Riley, but our son was just so nervous and scared with the puppy. If we decide to try again, we will definitely work with the D.A.D. trainer in Nashville to make sure that it will be a good match. We will need a very calm dog that won't jump up.
     
  4. caspi

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    I'm sorry but this infuriates me. What did you expect from a 4-5 month old puppy? How can you adopt a dog without spending any time with it? Puppies take WORK and dedication. Trying to train any dog to be a service dog takes that work and dedication to a whole other level.

    Seriously do yourself, and more importantly any future dog, a favor and stick with the CGM.
     
  5. rgcainmd

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    Sometimes the "love" that one gets on this Forum is of the "tough" variety. I have learned to deal with the hurt feelings and then go back and listen to the advice. It hasn't yet steered me wrong...
     
  6. forHisglory

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    DiabetesMama: I'm actually sorry to hear the skeptics win this one. The nippy behavior (aka "mouthing") is common to all puppies and can be worse with certain breeds. You should try to stop that ASAP and personalities/bad habits start solidifiying past the 3 month mark. The foster mom obviously did not try the dog out around other children, because it sounds like children really excite it. My hands have scars from sharp puppy teeth. Mouthing is natural behavior, but it should be curbed correctly and quickly......trying to correct in the wrong ways can set up a biter down the road. The "trial" period is perfectly acceptable (no harm there for those "upset" he got returned). So much better than ending up at the vet's office for euthanasia in a year or back at the shelter when its no longer as adoptable as a "cute, little puppy." Most people have no idea how many dogs are brought in every year for behavior issues.....one of the top reasons for euthanasia. Anyhow, give your son time to heal and don't revisit the issue prematurely. Maybe he would be interested in volunteering at a local shelter where he could assist in walking, etc. and get more comfortable around dogs in general. And, there are a lot of OLDER dogs that desperately need homes......but once again, you have to be really careful about what you get into with hidden behaviors there as well.....so working with a reputable trainer sounds like a great plan if yours son really wants a DAD.
     
  7. DiabetesMama

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    Yes, we are going to be extremely careful IF and WHEN we decide to try again. I was surprised that the "mouthing" was still happening as well when we got him. When she said 4 or 5 months, I figured that most of the jumping, nipping and mouthing would be mostly over. I thought that she would have at least worked on the things that she saw he was doing while she had him in her house, like the nipping, but I am unsure of how much time he had around people per day. I loved the trial period that this place allows people to make sure that they have the right fit for every situation. I am grateful that they understood and were more then willing to work with us sometime in the future if we think that a dog could still fit into our family. I think that a volunteer basic for my son would be a GREAT idea! That way we can be sure that he is actually ready for a dog, and make sure he isn't still afraid. We were definitely not trying to upset him or even worse, try owning a dog that we weren't ready for. Now that we know that he has some fears, at least we can move gently into pet ownership later down the road if he feels comfortable. The whole family misses Riley and it was one of the hardest things to do, returning him to his foster home, but we also understood that our son's fears were not going to just go away either. I didn't want to give up because of all the skeptics were so tough on me, but my son's well being is the most important thing to me. He will make a great pet for someone, and I hope that his nipping problem can be dealt with and be stopped before it becomes a problem to someone else. Thanks to all of those who gave me encouragement and thanks to those who had words of advice and gentle warnings. We will hold off on getting a dog for awhile until my son works through his fears and volunteers a bit to make sure he is really ready. His tears of disappointment and fear was the hardest thing I have dealt with since his diagnoses and it broke my heart that his ideal "best friend" made him scared. We will be VERY cautious in the future.
     
  8. swellman

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    So, you're blaming the skeptics ... nice. How about just sticking to proven technology which is the CGM.

    EDIT: You came here looking for advice and you got it and didn't like it. You fussed. You thanked those that encouraged you because that's what you wanted to hear. Maybe next time you will actually want to hear from experience and take advice from those that have something to offer. FWIW I am truly sorry ... for the dog ... that it ended the way it did.
     
    Last edited: Nov 11, 2015
  9. Ali

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    Sorry but I am really confused. This whole thread has happened over 14 days. This is really fast to work thru all you are doing. If you want a dog as a pet then get one, if you can not hear your Dex there are lots of ways to solve that. The hearing alarms has been a big topic for dex and medtronic from the moment they came out, so lots of advice on how to deal. This site or a general google search or call Dex will help with the Dex issue the puppy/friend issue might be a dog or a cat or a pony? If you want a dog as a companion then just look for that and I would suggest buying a trained over one or two years old dog from a reputable breeder who has trained the dog but does not think it is show quality. Your son might love that type of dog as a friend. You can train older dogs to alert. good luck. sorry your kid was traumatized.
     
  10. DavidN

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    Was the puppy's feistiness predictable? Probably. How about your son's reaction? Not really. Take the whole DAD thing out of the equation and this plays out the same way. Happens all the time I would guess. You did nothing wrong, IMO. A tad naive on the DAD stuff? Maybe, but so what? Again, outcome wouldn't have changed. Your intentions were to keep the dog regardless of DAD success. Big props to you for following through on your commitment to keep everyone updated, despite knowing with certainty that the "I told you so's" would be out in force. Sorry it didn't work out.
     
    Last edited: Nov 12, 2015
  11. forHisglory

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    What exactly do you feel so sorry about for the puppy? That someone wanted to give it a home, got attached, but had to look out for the interests of her child, and decided to make the responsible but tough decision for dog and child to find a different situation? The dog wasn't returned to a shelter, euthanized, traumatized or neglected in any way. The adoption group is committed to finding it a great home. The nipping will be easily solved by the correct training. A positive outlet for your animal advocacy would be to support early low cost spay neuter programs in your area.
     
  12. DiabetesMama

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    Trust me, we had no intention of turning the puppy back into the foster home, but when your son is crying and scared to even sit on the floor with the puppy you thought would be his best friend, you know you have to do something. No, I am not blaming the skeptics. The skeptics did not cause the puppy to nip, neither did I. Yes, I did come for advice and encouragement and I have learned a lesson there too. Not everyone will support our decisions nor be encouraging, and you know what, I will take heed from others advice. It was a hard choice to take Riley back to the foster home, but I know that I made the right decision. I didn't go looking for a traumatic experience for my son, nor did I go looking for a fight on this wonderful site, where I come to learn and share everything that happens in our lives. I guess the other big disappointment is to know that I will be rethinking before actually sharing anything else that happens in our lives because the attacks here are not what I expected. There have been some great people I have met here and I appreciate the ones who are actually concerned about what happened and realize that we are hurting too. We fell in love with Riley and this is NOT what we intended to happen. Riley went back to his foster family and is being loved and spoiled until the right family comes for him. He is forever safe from the shelter and just waiting for his forever home. I wanted to be honest with everyone here and let everyone know what happened. I believe in being honest, even though I knew what was going to happen. I knew that the skeptics would be right back to remind me of my failure but I didn't wanted to just disappear into the night and forget about the wonderful friends I have made here. There are friendships I truly value here and no amount of negative comments are going to chase me away. Thanks to those of you who stood up for the situation and those who truly understand that we are good people and want the best for all animals.
     
  13. rgcainmd

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    I think it took a lot of guts to share the unfortunate outcome, knowing what some of the responses would be. I'm happy you are sticking around!
     
  14. Mish

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    This really has nothing to do with diabetes. This is about your callous regard for a puppy that you claimed was coming to his "forever home". The "skeptics" as you keep calling them, were not really talking about diabetes - maybe a little about using a dog as a DAD, but mostly, it was clear that your family wasn't ready for a dog, and the training that it entailed. That's what these (very devoted) dog lovers saw. Had you brought your son around puppies before bringing one into your home, you would have known how your son would have reacted. Had you done any research about the type of dog you were bringing into your home, you would have seen that this was what was going to happen.

    This is a living creature that you're shuffling around because you no desire to listen to anyone's advice. And yet you keep claiming to care for it, and hoping it finds its "forever home" - gag. Do you even know what that means? That means you bring the animal into your home and he is yours. Forever. This dog isn't going to get that. This dog will be shuffled from place to place because it sounds like the adoption agency doesn't give a crap. You brought him into your home, so you're just another stop on the way for a dog who will most likely see two or three more homes before he's put to sleep, because no one bothered to train him.

    Please think twice before bringing another pet into your home. Please.
     
  15. Sarah Maddie's Mom

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    ^^^This. Exactly.
     
  16. Snowflake

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    So, I'm pretty skeptical of the science behind DADs and I really think the CGM occupies this field, but DiabetesMama, I say don't beat yourself up too much over this. This could have happened regardless of whether you were adopting a dog as a DAD or for a family pet. My non-d 3 yr old has a dog phobia that seems to come and go; I've thought he was over it and then it comes back when we meet the wrong dog. You have to do what's right for your CHILD first and foremost, and I absolutely would prioritize my kid's comfort in the home (and long-term comfort around animals) in this situation. I'd think of it as you being this dog's substitute foster family for a few days while your family figured out if this was a good fit.
     
  17. DavidN

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    DiabetesMama,

    I was siding (hate calling it that) with you from the get go. But the reaction from people I've come to like and trust was so severe I went back and read from the beginning.

    Not that I'm trying to referee or anything, but just wanted to sign off this with my concluding thoughts. Was the reaction a bit harsh? Maybe. But it was also for the most part spot on. Several saw this coming for the simple reason that you (1) didn't spend any time with the puppy (2) didn't appreciate or research that this puppy did exactly what most puppy's do, which is run around and act like a dang puppy.

    My initial thought was "sh!t happens" (your sons reaction), and unfortunately it didn't work out. But you could have put a little more thought into this on the front end, particularly when the idea of visiting with the puppy was being screamed at you from several different people.

    Again, I'm sorry it didn't work out. I do think the tone could have been a bit softer, but I'm also sensitive to the fact that there are some very experienced dog owners on this board who have seen this happen time and time again and have a big ole soft spot for puppies. So I can't judge them either. With their experience I may have had the same reaction.

    At the end of the day you made a mistake by not "trying out" the dog in his foster home rather than your home. This really wasn't a great experience for the dog and it could have easily been avoided. From what I can tell you still don't think you did anything wrong. It sounds like you'll do it differently next time so at least some good came out of this.

    Take care and good luck with the next dog.
     
  18. MomofJJ

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    You're not wrong, but jumping on someone who has already learned their lesson about their own ignorance is equally ignorant, and could also just be called bullying. Every single person makes mistakes and every single one of us has done something to harm another person and another creature at some time in our lives, whether it was ignorance or accident, including you. Everyone, including you, has been warned not to do something, but went ahead and did it anyway, at LEAST once in your life because you thought your experience would be different, and because you didn't know better because sometimes you need to have the experience yourself in order to get it. If you want to jump all over someone, go jump on someone who keeps their dog tied up outside 24/7 and shows zero remorse or empathy about it, (Had to deal with that with a neighbor being cruel not long ago), or someone who neglects their child or the hoards of people who think getting their family a puppy for the holidays is a great idea and oh so fun without putting any thought into the fact that they will all be sick of it in a couple of weeks and start neglecting it for the rest of it's existence, don't jump all over someone who made a wrong call out of hope and desperation and ignorance and found out the hard way it was wrong and even owned it.
     
  19. forHisglory

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    The negative reactions and accusations are way over the top. If you want to witness a real atrocity or something to get upset about, direct your energies at volunteering at your local shelter or Humane society or being a foster yourself. I've fostered many dogs and it's one of the most thankless, but rewarding things you can do. Last year, I was employed by one of the largest no kill humane societies in our region, but I commuted from a county where 400-500 dogs and cats were euthanized MONTHLY. The "gas chamber" was just successfully removed this past summer. Awful. We had over 5,000 adoptions and spay/neutered approx 11,000 animals to prevent unwanted animals. The real person to blame is not a mismatched family and puppy (which happens frequently), but the irresponsible owner who didn't care to prevent the unwanted litter in the first place. The adoption folks do the best they can, but even with meeting ahead of time you can't predict how things will turn out.

    Traumatized puppy? Hardly. I hope you don't ever board your animal for a week or two if you have to travel. Might the dog feel abandoned?? My point is that the dog received loving care for a short period- it will be none the worse for it. Most fosters pour their heart and soul into their animals and it will land in the right place. Happens ALL the time and that is why a trial is so important. There are many callous, irresponsible owners out there, but this innocent and best of intentions family (if a bit naive) is simply not in that category. Please, support and volunteer at your local high quality low cost spay neuter! You will save lives and direct your energies in a much more fruitful way.
     
    Last edited: Nov 12, 2015
  20. Sarah Maddie's Mom

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    Shelters don't let people "try out" a dog without ever having met it. The very idea is absurd. Anyone who has spent any time around shelters would know this. Amazing the garbage people make-up.
     

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