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Do you ever "compare" your child's challenges to others?

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by DsMom, May 16, 2011.

  1. redcurls3

    redcurls3 Approved members

    Jan 1, 2006
    I too have thought this in the past like most of you. I thought, no, I know we were given a miracle when Andy was able to come off of insulin. But then we got the news that he was developmentally delayed, possible autism, and later sensory processing disorder. In some ways that has been a harder diagnosis for me than the diabetes. Every day, the older and stronger he gets, the harder it is to control his tantrums and sensory overload responses. And the worse part about this is we know it's related to the genetic mutation, but being one of the first and youngest to transition, we don't have a clue how it will turn out in the end.

    But I try to move on and thank God for my 2 miracles that I have every day. I don't worry quite as much about my children having severe lows like most T1 children. I don't have to worry about insulin or shots or pumps. Some days I think I would trade the sensory issues and developmental delays for a neurotypical diabetic kid. But then Andy kisses me and tells me he loves me and that's enough for my heart today. Who knows what tomorrow will bring.

    By the way, you T1 parents ROCK!
  2. Tigerlilly's mom

    Tigerlilly's mom Approved members

    Dec 3, 2007
    I don't think of Tyler as having challenges. A challenge is something that you have to overcome, and there is no way to overcome diabetes- you do what you need to do to manage it so you don't have to sit on the sidelines! Sure, he deals with alot of extra crap everyday with testing bolusing etc., but it doesn't stop him from going to school, playing sports, or doing anything else that any 12 year old can.

    There are kids with learning disabilities, ADHD, anxiety, handicaps, CF, epilispy, cancer, unfortunately the list goes on and on, and these things do present challenges for them where they can't do everything that all the other kids can do....so YES, my grass is greener.
  3. PatriciaMidwest

    PatriciaMidwest Approved members

    Mar 2, 2010
    Yes, I do sometimes. I think it's easy to compare to healthy children and feel like why me. But then I realize it could be something so much worse, as others here have posted.

    My daughter goes through this too. We talk about how everyone has their challenges. The older she gets, the more she sees this for herself. She has a classmate with brain cancer, one with a serious heart condition, and oddly enough three that see an endo for blood sugar issues (not type 1), but we don't know the exact diagnosis. These are just the ones we know of.
  4. lil'Man'sMom

    lil'Man'sMom Approved members

    Jan 8, 2008
    When first dx'ed I did compare, it is part of the grieving process.

    I no longer compare or feel why him, very rarely do I even think about what life would be like with out diabetes.

    For me diabetes just is...

    (Although I am looking forward to diabetes camp when I will get two weeks of no night test.)
    Last edited: May 16, 2011
  5. swimmom

    swimmom Approved members

    Feb 23, 2007
    I don't think about it that way. It is what it is. We deal with it and live our lives.

    There's the other side of the coin too - I can choose to dwell on what strengths my daughter shows, how she doesn't sweat the small stuff, how she's responsible and a good planner, etc. maybe because of D.

    It's just life and we all struggle along the best we can.
  6. kimmcannally

    kimmcannally Approved members

    Feb 28, 2010
    I do when I hear people whine about how hard it is "raising two kids" or whatever. Please! Try raising one with autism, possible bipolar and Type 1!! Then you can complain to me. He is as big as I am now and his rages make me wonder how long it will be until I have to call the police. And then to have DH tell me nothing is wrong with J and it is all my fault?! Yea, it really sucks. I'm afraid I will outlive J because of his mental health issues making his D much worse. He won't take care of himself, just last night he ate all the bread I forgot on the counter. His Dex looks like he's climbing Mt. Everest! And of course, I've been up since 4:30 this morning dealing with it. Blog post here.

    I'm just having a pity party for myself this morning. :rolleyes:
  7. deafmack

    deafmack Approved members

    Sep 22, 2006

    Yes you are so right. My Sister is a two time cancer survivor and I can certainly attest to the truth of your words. Please give your sister a big (((HUG))) from me.
  8. Kaylas mom

    Kaylas mom Approved members

    Apr 14, 2010
    I know I do compare, but I also know that even though we didn't luck out so well in the medical dept things could be so much worse. Just in our immediate family we have two type ones, epilepsy, migraines, graves disease, glaucoma, immune disorder, asthma, all sorts of stomach issues, mental issues.

    I have friend whose child is autistic and possible bi-polar, he hasn't been to school since Sept. and has called 911 several times from his home. His parents are considering divorce just so he can get the care he needs. I have a friends with kids with dev. disabilities who will never leave home.

    I do sometimes roll my eyes at co-workers who complain that the baby kept them up at night or they can't make it to all the different activities that are scheduled with their kids still...
  9. DsMom

    DsMom Approved members

    Nov 9, 2010
    No...you didn't come across as offended at all. We of course all know that there are worse things than D out there...but it is humbling to hear of someone's personal experience. Just didn't want you to think I was comparing "D" to "C." There is no comparison.:(
  10. DsMom

    DsMom Approved members

    Nov 9, 2010
    I can also get annoyed with moms of kids with no medical or other challenges complain of this and that and how stressful things are. However, I try to remember the time before D, when just having my first, healthy newborn was the most overwhelming thing in the world. Or, when having 3 healthy kids under the age of 5 seemed like the pinnacle of motherly stress! Stress is all relative, and, when you don't have anything else to compare it to, YOUR stress seems like the worst...whether it is or not. Yes, I know those moms don't know what "real" stress feels like. But, they don't know any better. Lucky them!:rolleyes:
  11. denise3099

    denise3099 Approved members

    Jul 31, 2009
    Yeah, remember that. :) When you had a brand new healthy baby and were absolutley exhausted and even though you felt lucky you were so tired and stressed and worried about every little thing and you had those days when you didn't think you could manage!! :D I remember when I had my big strong healthy son and was so overwhelmed I couldn't believe some ppl had twins!! And then with my second I looked back and thought, brother, I can't believe I thought that was hard. This is hard! :eek: And still I had a healthy strong toddler son and a perfect new baby girl--but I was stressed. lol Little did I know what was coming down the pike. :p I would have been much more relaxed about stuff back then! I try to think that now--like I wish I looked like I did when I thought I was fat! :p I know someday I might be looking back on these days and long for them! So I, like all of you, strap on my little cape and do what I need to do and most days I manage to paste a smile on my face.
  12. Judy&Alli

    Judy&Alli Approved members

    Jan 26, 2008
    I get irritated when a mom on fb complains of an ear infection and that she was up all night long with her sick kid. I want to scream at the computer!
  13. MamaBear

    MamaBear Approved members

    Jul 20, 2010
    When my son first got diagnosed, and I could not sleep, I posted facebook statuses that had to do with D, probably too much, but no outlet at the time. Anyhow one night I posted something about needing to try to get a nap before the next BG check. One of my friends posted a comment that I was lucky to get a nap, because her daughter (only child non D and no major health isues) had a cold virus and she had been up for a few nights with her.:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: Yeah don't I feel lucky. :rolleyes:
  14. bisous

    bisous Approved members

    May 21, 2007
    Honestly, DS1 has both ADHD and Diabetes and I feel like the ADHD is the harder of the diagnoses. I'm more than five years into this so I've gotten the hang of the night wakings, failed sites, etc. but I feel like the ADHD negatively impacts his life much more. He can do anything with D--it just takes more planning (sometimes a lot more but still!) but with ADHD he just CAN'T function in certain environments. Maybe when he gets older it will be less debilitating.

    I don't get frustrated at others but I remember my own ignorance before diagnosis VERY WELL!!
  15. caspi

    caspi Approved members

    Oct 11, 2006
    I couldn't have said it better myself..... :cwds:

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