Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by njswede, Feb 20, 2015.
It is, and even when we disagree, we learn something. :cwds:
I don't know if it's just my personality or what, but I really don't get the pity or weird comments, not ever. I mean, one time a friend asked what it meant to have diabetes and I just casually started listing the reality (not in a dramatic way either, just his life) and I looked at her and she was just...crying. Big tears, it was actually very sweet, like she just felt for him but didn't want to be full of pity. Interesting moment actually.
I've only one time had a friend try to tell me if he had drank only alkalized water he'd not be diabetic and that there IS a cure out there if we only looked. We're not friends anymore as it escalated and became personal.
Other than that, eh. I actually welcome comments and take the time to educate in a very real and honest way. Do I think he has a disease? Yes, I do. Is he sick? Nope. That's the difference, calling it a disease doesn't make it bigger or badder.
My advice is to seize the moment to educate, be calm and knowledgeable. When/if pity starts just smile and nod and change the subject. That's my approach anyway.
I have never gotten the pity or weird comments either, in 20 years! Most people are just glad that you are the one dealing with it and not them I think. I do get questions when they find out both of my kids have it, about who in the family had it before, etc. People that are interested I do try to educate a bit.
I guess while I understand the nuance of having a disease without being sick- to me when i hear the word "disease", I just automatically think "sick"- whether or not that is correct technically. So i don't use the word disease personally, but it doesn't bother me when others do. I'm more likely to be bothered when people say stuff like "thats why i don't let my kids have juice, so they don't get diabetes" which is what someone said to me while on a class trip with my daughter. I can laugh it off, but it bothers me too.
When we went to a National park, my daughter received what she calls her "disabled pancreas" card. I rather like how she dubbed it. It really fits. Her pancreas is disabled.
All I can ask, which is what my closest brother asked me.
Have YOU cried yet???
I think you are in first responder mode, very matter of fact. Yet, as much as I did not want to show another side, there it is....
eventually you will be able to make the comparison
between "before and after"
Have *I* cried? Uhm, no. Should I? Why? Things have been going great so far. Yesterday was great, today looks promising and who knows about tomorrow? All I can do is to be educated, prepared and take it one day at a time. Is that wrong?
Sure, that's normal... but I wouldn't say it's typical. I would guess that most of us cried. Me, I cried A LOT in the beginning, but I made sure to do it when my little guy wasn't around. Haven't cried in months, though some days I would really like to break things! We all process things emotionally in different ways.
I still cry and it's been 5 years and I don't even deal with the day to day anymore. I just simply hate that I can't fix this. But everyone deals with stress and challenges differently. You're not right or wrong. You are putting one step in front of the other and that's what we all have to do, like it or no. Me, I need to just let go of the emotions sometimes, and that's my outlet.
(edited to say I put this under the wrong reply...this was to the reply about not having cried yet. Sorry!)
I got a break from D today. In the ER with my FIL. The fun never ends...
Separate names with a comma.