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Appropriatly freaked out?

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by bibrahim, Apr 8, 2011.

  1. bibrahim

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    My DD 16 just got her license. We are adjusting to the changes. My parents have been out of town for months and just returned from thier snow bird trip. My CWD 11 wanted to go see the grandparents but didn't want to get a ride from the new driver so said she would just walk up there. So my husband let her walk to their house, about a mile away. He checked her BS and gave her a snack and she had her phone and CGM and another snack. Grandparents were aware to watch for her and check on her.

    I emailed him to tell him that I had possibly found a DJ for DD's Sweet Sixteen party (just found out today the DJ is ditching us) and he emailed me back to let me know the above. So, I am already stressed out that the DJ thing is messed up, already tired from crap at work this week, and already not feeling real hot today.

    So I called immediately and he says "that didn't take long" (for me to call). I said "what are you trying to do, give me a stroke?". Of course that make him defensive, she has a snack, he checked her BS first and so on. Well, all true but she is still alone, she is still 11, and for God's sake SHE HAS DIABETES!!

    So he asks if I want grandparents to go and get DD and I said yes, you call them, I will call her. So I call and she is almost there but approaching an area without sidewalks and then she is really mad that I am having her grandparents come get her.

    I got of work and went to meet up with CWD and she is OK but I am upset. My parents weren't worried, they were going to check on her if she didn't get there when they thought she should...my DH is probably upset at me for "freaking out"...I am just feeling like "who is the adult here?" Any suggestions for how to talk to DH about my concerns?
     
  2. Sarah Maddie's Mom

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    If she didn't have D would you be ok with her doing that walk?
     
  3. bibrahim

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    no, not alone. I don't feel she should walk that far alone with or without diabetes. I felt the same way about DD 16 at that age.
     
  4. Sarah Maddie's Mom

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    Then that's what I would take into the conversation with dh. If it doesn't feel safe, it doesn't feel safe. Period.

    Good luck :cwds:

    PS I would feel the same about the 11 year old. '-)
     
  5. Nancy in VA

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    I don't think walking a mile with a phone, a snack, a CGMS, and grandparents on the watch is an unreasonable thing. My kids and cousins go walking around my parents lake house a lot (even before any of them had a phone) - we know they know the rules and know where to go.

    And hubby did handle it responsibly - he had her check and carbed her up before she left.

    My 10-year-old walks about 8/10 of a mile to meet a friend leaving school each Wed and then they walk home together.

    Since you asked for opinions, I do think that freaking out was a bit extreme
     
  6. Lawana

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    Dh would be the one freaking out here. I don't see the problem with an 11 yo walking a mile by herself, D or no.

    I remember the time I, as an almost 9 yo with no actual bus experience, was commissioned to get my 7 yo sister on a city bus to a summer school class. I got her on the bus going the wrong direction! But we were able to get it all sorted out, recovering her downtown, when she should have been miles in the opposite direction. I also remember walking by myself several miles as a tween/young teen, getting disoriented in a city center environment, but figuring it out in the end.

    I really think we do our dc a disservice by not letting them take on challenges where they have to have their wits about them and figure things out for themselves.
     
  7. bibrahim

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    Thanks for the feedback...I need some R&R I think.
     
  8. rdhead

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    I think it all depends on where you live. For us walking a mile you are still in our neighborhood. My 9 and 12 yr olds do it all the time. (We measured the distance between our house and a friends and it is 1.1 mile) I totally feel comfortable with them doing that. That being said, if we lived in say Manhattan? absolutely no way.

    In the end it comes down to what you as the parents are comfortable with.
     
  9. Sarah Maddie's Mom

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    LOL, that's so funny. I grew up in Manhattan and find quiet rural roads far more "dangerous" :p
     
  10. mom24grlz

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    I guess it depends on where you live as to whether or not i'd freak out. Ashleigh walks home from school on occasion and it's close to a mile walk. But of course it's all sidewalk and we live in a small town with very little traffic. Now if she was walking the road where I lived as an 11 year old, then yes I'd freak out. It's a back road with no sidewalks, lots of hills and curves. People fly over them and a lot of times you can't see what or who is in front of you until you're right there. I remember several times having to jump in the ditch so i didn't get hit by a car.
     
  11. bibrahim

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    we are in a small town of about 5,000 or so. We have a few stop lights and a bunch of fast food joints. I think the main thing is that she was alone and in the work I do, I hear about a lot of bad stuff. I also watch too much CSI type stuff and there have been a lot of missing persons in our area, all adults which is scary too. I explained to DH that I think there is safety in numbers and he explained that it was DD's idea, not his. He gets it now. I am OK if she wants to walk with a friend in the future. I think she just wants some more independence. Thanks for your input, everyone.
     
  12. rdhead

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    Well we aren't really on a quiet rural road :) and I have to admit that I don't know how comfortable I would be with that either.

    Our subdivision is rather large and I feel ok with them walking that far in our neighborhood but if it were across major roads or long stretches of back woods roads my comfort factor drops significantly.

    I guess it's all about perspective and what you are used to. But then I want my kids to be as little as possible for as long as possible. I have even gone as far as forbidding them to grow :D
     
    Last edited: Apr 9, 2011
  13. Sarah Maddie's Mom

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    Please share magic potion! I have Paypal!
    :D
     
  14. mom2Hanna

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    me too!

    BTW, I wouldnt let my almost 11 yo walk alone like that.
     
  15. liasmommy2000

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    (((HUGS))). I think D wise she was more than fine.

    As for an 11 year old walking a mile alone, well I have not yet gotten to that level of comfortable. I will admit to being very nervous and a bit over protective but I worry about perverts too much. We live in a small-ish pretty safe town (pop 12,000) but I don't care where you live there are creepy people everywhere.

    I need to learn to relax as do you. However that's SO much easier to say than do! My dd may have to walk a mile home from school next year depending on some changes in our school district and if I can't change my work schedule I may not have many options. I'm freaking out at the thought.
     
  16. Beach bum

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    See now I'd be less concerned about my kids walking a mile in Boston than I would at home at home. At least in a city there's lots of people and places to stop. Our town has busy roads, secluded houses and no sidewalks in most areas.
    Back to op. If she couldn't do it pre diabetes I remind your husband of that though everyone involved gets a gold star for doing all the right stuff to get her where she was going.
     

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