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Any other single parents?

Discussion in 'Parents Off Topic' started by MamaBear, Aug 24, 2010.

  1. Mike&Dans.Mom

    Mike&Dans.Mom Approved members

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    How long ago was your son dx'd? It is very overwhelming in the beginning. Alot to learn, alot of worry and alot of grief.

    It does get better, I promise you. Been doing this for 12 years, and I can honestly say that.
     
  2. MamaBear

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    And there's another reason I rarely date. I think with breakups it's harder on the kids. :(

    I think that's when I feel the worst. The day's business is done. The kids are sleeping, the animals are sleeping, and I'm alone with my thoughts and my mommy guilt. :(

    5 weeks. :(
     
  3. kyles_mom

    kyles_mom Approved members

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    You are so new to this, it does get better....I promise. When Kyle was dx I was still married but I was that parent that did everything. Resentment grew even more because I was all alone now in this too. We were already on shaky ground, and this just gave me the push I needed to leave because when you go through something like a chronic illness dx things really start to come into perspective. You realize that life is too short to be miserable....well in my case anyway.

    I can relate to those long nights, being on your own trying to bring up a low or bring down a high...then having to get up early for work ouch. In the beginning I did mention things to his dad about D being rough (to say the least!lol) and got the nice response of 'it's not rocket science' :mad: so needless to say I quit complaining to him about it lol. But I guess to be fair we were separated, I had left him, and I guess I shouldn't have expected much sympathy :p but this was while he was getting settled and I had Kyle virtually 100% of the time for the first year and a half. He now has taken a more active role and has him every other weekend and he's been handling things really well so I'm grateful.

    It's never easy though, any of it....but we do what we have to do, right? It's about keeping our kids healthy and safe and you sound like a loving, caring mom and your kids will love you forever for it. I was raised by a single mom, no D to complicate things, but she is the strongest person I know and now I realize all the sacrifices she had to make while my brothers and I were growing up. I'm completely in awe of her and your kids will be of you too. Not that that's why we do what we do.

    I do have a 19 yr old daughter that knows how to handle his D and that saves some of my sanity, she's been a huge blessing to me in all of this.

    But really, just give it some time...when we were first dx I remember Kyle rarely was even in range, I didn't think I'd ever get the handle on this. I'm still a little slow on the uptake sometimes, but that's what this place is for...so much helpful information. I'm glad you found it and come here often for advice and to just plain vent :D
     
  4. MamaBear

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    I guess the best I can do is take this as I have taken every other hardship I've known in life... One day at a time. SIGH
     
  5. Mistync991

    Mistync991 Approved members

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    single parent here...dad has almost no envolvment at all ...we are both t1s and im also a full time student hectic dosent even begin to cover things around here some times
     
  6. MamaBear

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    What are you going to school for?
     
  7. Mom2Deacon

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    I am a single mom to 4 boys. Their father has very little involvement in their lives and he has no idea how to care for Deacon, even though we were together when Deacon was diagnosed. I am a full time student also. My parents are really involved in ours lives and that does help me during the day. Things do get easier as you get used to the "new" normal and you find a schedule that fits your life.

    --Sara
     
  8. MamaBear

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    Thanks. I guess getting a schedule takes awhile? I keep making "to do" lists everyday, and they keep not getting done. I feel exhausted physically and mentally. I guess I'm just not sure what normal means anymore..besides a cycle on a washing machine.
     
  9. Lee

    Lee Approved members

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    After my daughters diagnosis I need help - in the form of a little pill that my doctor gave me. I just couldn't get out of my own way to live my life - All I wanted to do was sleep and pretend it would all get better. My doc put me on Wellbutrin - and it helped me find my old self and deal. I don't know how I could have made it without. And it wasn't a lifelong thing - I probably took it for about 6 months and then the anxiety and the depression and the hurt, well it didn't go away, but it did become something I could deal with.

    Maybe this isn't your answer, but you need to find something that will help you.
     
  10. MamaBear

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    I wish sometimes I could do that. I don't have insurance for myself. I struggle to pay for it for the kids, and now struggle to pay for his prescription. The only real therapy I have had over the years is writing. Blogs mostly. I have had alot of people say they cannot believe the things I write about..too personal. I think because my life has been mostly tragedy and hardship, it's hard for people to read, perhaps makes them uncomfortable? I recall once someone saying "everyone can see your emotional underwear". I do keep them private,only people I know can see them. But I think showing my emotional underwear is much better than turning to drug abuse,alcohol abuse,or abusing my children as I have seen others do. I'd rather write and look like a fool to get it all out, so that my time with the kids can be peaceful. And people always have the option to not read what I write. I do have alot of thoughts in my head that should be typed or jotted down, but at the same time, right now I am feeling everyday like I cannot focus on much. Am I expecting too much too soon?
     
  11. Lee

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    Maybe try Valerian (I think - double check though) - it is a natural anxiety reliever.
     
  12. MamaBear

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    Thanks. I'll look into it.:)
     
  13. sugarmonkey

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    I'm a single parent to two kids. Shanaiah will be 12 next month and has multiple health issues, and Phillip is 13 and was dxd with D 5 1/2 years ago.

    It is hard dealing with D on your own. I don't have any support from family or friends, so I don't really get a break. The kids go to their dads, but he's useless with D care. Thinks Phillip is old enough to do everything himself. So I'm on call when they're there too. And worrying the entire time they're gone.

    I don't check on here much anymore, but I've sent you a pm.
     

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