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and now...Divorce...

Discussion in 'Parents Off Topic' started by Mary Lou, Jan 2, 2011.

  1. Mary Lou

    Mary Lou Approved members

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    Hello, fellow CWDers, it's been quite a while since I've been around.

    I'm feeling very alone and sad and am wondering how many of us out here are going through or have gone through a divorce.

    My story is so cliche, but it is what it is....After 17 years of marriage and two children, my husband has found someone new and filed for divorce. Actually filed the day before our 17th wedding anniversary. It was a compelte surprise to me. For me, it is true that the wife is the last to know. Oh, I just wanted to add that he told me that "our life was too hard and he didn't want to do it, anymore."

    So now he lives in a new house, just a couple of miles away and we are in the middle of figuring out child support, parenting plans and everything else that I only had a vague awareness of prior to all of this.

    I never in a million years imagined that I would end up here, that this would happen to us. Just last Christmas, he gave us ballroom dancing lessons, and up until May, we were pushing aside the living room furniture and foxtrotting around the house. Now we're apart and my heart is broke and the boys are a mess.

    The D care is staggering on my own.

    I would appreciate any advice, comments, jokes, etc., from any of my friends, old or new here on the forum. I am hopeful that 2011 will find me and the boys pulling ourselves together and finding new strength and a new life. Until then, I could use a friend or two right now...
     
    Last edited: Jan 3, 2011
  2. kiwiliz

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    MaryLou - I am so sorry you have been blindsided by this. You sound so composed and dignified- you must be a very strong woman - I am sure I would be a complete wreck in your shoes. 2011 will be a better year - it can't be any worse than the terrible "10" anyway. Let us know if we can help in any way.
     
  3. Mom2rh

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    I'm so sorry. I hope you find strength to get through this tumultuous period and find peace and happiness on the other side.
     
  4. Flutterby

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    HI Mary Lou, I've missed 'seeing' you around here. I'm sorry to hear about the divorce, and the hard time you and the boys are having (that can't help at all with the numbers either!). If you need anything, and I mean anything, let me know.. I'm not that far from you! If you need to get out, let me know.. there is a Type 1 meeting tomorrow night, you can come and hang out with the girls and the kids can play. PM me or get me on FB if you are interested (or just want to say hi!).. I'm hoping 2011 is so much better to you!
     
  5. Mary Lou

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    I've missing being around, too. I have written this post a dozen times, but never had the courage to put my situation into words, or at least words that couldn't be used against me in court :rolleyes:

    It's very hard to admit that your life is such a mess.
     
  6. Sarah Maddie's Mom

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    Mary Lou, I'm really so sorry to hear your news.

    And I've missed seeing you around. I'm sorry I don't have any advice, just wanted to wish you strength. :cwds:
     
  7. frizzyrazzy

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    Mary Lou, I am so sorry. :(

    I've also missed seeing you around.
     
  8. joan

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    I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this. It happens so much where I live its unbelievable. I hope you have a better 2011.
     
  9. Lindy

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    Mary Lou - once upon a time, I used a lot of your info for a 504 plan....what a help!! Although I'm not on here as much either, I read here and there....

    I am so angered on your behalf. I cannot wrap my head around a parent, disconnecting from their obligation(s) to his or her family. While one may be upset with their spouse, how do you decide to take it to another level? Did his children and their hearts, ever enter his mind while he decided to move out, find someone else etc? I think once a parent decides to disconnect in such a way - kick that man to the curb girlfriend!!

    I know you are a strong, smart woman!! I know you will land on your two feet! Keep your head up, tears in check - and give your boys a shining example of what a parent is!

    CWD rocks - and so do you Mary Lou!!
     
  10. Nancy in VA

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    I'm so sorry you are going through this. How many of us have felt our life is too hard and we don't to do it anymore - but we ranger on. Because its not about us. What a selfish man. I'm so sorry that you are left top ick up the pieces for you and the boys. Prayers for you!
     
  11. MamaC

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    Ugh...I'm so sorry to hear this news. I've missed "seeing" you since CC09.
     
  12. coni

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    I am sorry to hear your news. I can tell you that you are not alone. I just took my 8 year old over to her father's for the week and logged on to CWD because I was feeling so blue. We have been separated for a month now with a divorce in the works.

    Not sure what to say. A divorce is hard enough on a family and person without the diabetes issues thrown in.

    Cyber hugs to you. Try to take care of yourself as best you can.
     
  13. Noel

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    MaryLou,

    I am so very sorry that you and your boys are having to go through this!!! I know that caring for 2 with D isn't easy, especially when you are doing it without help. I have missed you around here as well....wondering where you went. I know that we (your CWD Friends) aren't close here in location but we are just a post or email away. Hang in there!
     
  14. Lee

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    Oh no Mary Lou - that just isn't fair...I feel so angry for you :mad:

    My best advice is to not do 50/50. 60/40 or 70/30 is good - but one parent, especially when D is involved, needs to maintain the power. I think 50/50 was hard but doable; but then we added D to the mix and it was just a constant fight for years.
     
  15. Judy&Alli

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    Oh Mary Lou, I am so sorry!!! I am here if you need anything!!! Big hugs!!!!!
     
  16. OSUMom

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    Mary Lou I'm so very sorry. I'm glad you posted and shared with us. We're here for you. Huge hugs!!
     
  17. mandapanda1980

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    I am so sorry! I haven't been here at cwd long but cyber hugs to you anyways!
     
  18. sooz

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    I so agree with what you said, and you said it in such a nice way..I was thinking a lot of expletive deleteds about him..maybe I will let those go and just say selfish, irresponsible, little boy..when he should be a man.:mad:
     
  19. Becky Stevens mom

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    Life was too hard!?!?!?:confused: Didnt want to do it anymore!?!?!?:confused: Well who the heck said that you thought it was a cakewalk? I think he's a pu$$y and needs to grow some nads. He's running the risk of having his kids be ashamed of him as they get older. I wish you all the best Mary Lou, always and forever. I think youre a brave woman and an awesome Mom:cwds:
     
  20. Mary Lou

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    You guys are so great. Thank you for all of your kind wishes and for your support. I have never been in such a hard place in my life.

    Right now, the divorce process is grinding away at a very slow pace. The boys are with their father two weekends a month, from Thursday after school through Monday morning, which is both good and not good.

    On the positive side, I have never had two weekends a month to just focus on myself, and while the paperwork involved in separating such a long marriage is daunting, I am enjoying the sleep, as only my CWD friends can appreciate :D

    I also finally have enough closet space! (gotta take my silver linings where I find them).
     
    Last edited: Jan 3, 2011

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