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About that *Acceptance of D* thing - a few thoughts, in no particular order

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by StillMamamia, Feb 23, 2012.

  1. StillMamamia

    StillMamamia Approved members

    Nov 21, 2007
    Anyway, I've been thinking about whether I have come to terms with D or not, even if I should really have, considering the length of time it's been tagging along.:rolleyes: Anyway, last night, it sort of hit me - one cannot really find acceptance if one doesn't let go of the fear, the what-ifs, the what-if nots.

    That was my big hurdle (and still is at times) to get over. That fear, always present, of messing up, of not being able to always do the right thing, of doing the right thing at the time, but not being able to repeat that, of fearing that, no matter how we try to live with D as a invisible companion rather than an elephant on our backs, the future is always uncertain, etc etc. And that's a scary thought - not having 100% control 100% of the time. Always.

    So, my lightbulb moment (I know...surprised me too, that I could have one:D) is that that/those fear(s) will never leave. And as long as we see that/those fear(s) as elephants, then the burden will always feel, well, like a burden - heavy, cumbersome, overwhelming. But what happens when we let go a bit of the fear, knowing it's still there, yet aware we just manage how we can every day, some days better than others, and that we accept that we can't be 100% perfect 100% of the time when dealing with this disease?

    That's my lightbulb moment. I am not at the 100% acceptance stage, even after 5.5 years. I don't think I ever will be. Because dealing with the fear(s) of a chronic disease isn't the same as dealing with...well, other stuff, since nothing really comes to mind, LOL. There's a lot of emotional phases we go through, and it's hard to just let go of the fear(s) like that, but I do see myself sometimes thinking "Wow, I didn't thing of D for like 10 whole minutes.". Guess there's hope, after all.

    Still there? I ramble a lot,a nd my apologies for that, but I guess my point is that you need to make that elephant your friend. Otherwise, you will be way too stressed, way too overwhelmed, way way everything else. D does not need to be the only thing you talk about, even though I know you need to sometimes talk about it. And that's what forums like this are good for. Or facebook even.

    There is a life out there, and for any newbies, I can assure you, the friggin' elephant is a PITA, but you gotta live with it, and only when you get over the fear of it trampling you every single day, can you get to a level where you say "Ok, D's being a biatch, but here's my plan."

    Thank you.

    PS - no insult is meant to elephants. You can safely replace the elephant with tarantula, for example.;)
  2. Connie(BC)Type 1

    Connie(BC)Type 1 Approved members

    Nov 11, 2005
    love this, so true!!
  3. caspi

    caspi Approved members

    Oct 11, 2006
    Well said, Paula. :cwds:
  4. Mimi

    Mimi Approved members

    Dec 19, 2008
    Excellent Paula!!

    There are times when I think I've accepted it, times when it doesn't consume my every thought. But it is still the first thing I think of upon waking and the last think I think of before going to sleep. So, I've got a ways to go. :eek:

    And the fear and control aspect...oy!! :rolleyes:
  5. Kelly.Marie

    Kelly.Marie Approved members

    Aug 6, 2008
    where is the "Like" button?
  6. Connor's Mom

    Connor's Mom Approved members

    Nov 10, 2011
    Well said. I agree that I have not fully accepted it but, that I deal wight the ups and downs much better each year.
  7. Beach bum

    Beach bum Approved members

    Nov 17, 2005
    You are a very wise woman. Thanks Paula.
    I'm going to replace the elephant with a turkey. I have a problem with fowl, I guess now is the time to get over it:)
  8. Ellen

    Ellen Senior Member

    Oct 22, 2005
    Wonderful post Paula, thank you. I love that you are able to notice the minutes when you weren't thinking about diabetes - being able to live in the moment.

    Twenty-three years after my son's diagnosis of type 1 diabetes, I use NOT accepting that he will have this forever as a motivator to continue to raise awareness of the need to cure t1d and funds for cure-focused research. That's what keeps me going. I wish I could say the fears go away - but will accept that they are there and will continue to use them in any good way possible. Those same fears have also helped me feel gratitude for every new day.
  9. ashtensmom

    ashtensmom Approved members

    Jun 24, 2011
    Thank you Paula for this post, and thank you Ellen for not giving up!!!

    I firmly believe a cure will happen "someday", and it takes people like ellen to make sure that it happens in our children's lifetime and not 200 years later. Keep researching!
  10. blufickle

    blufickle Approved members

    Oct 4, 2011
    I don't recall ever not accepting the fact that I am a type 1 diabetic. But then again, I don't really think of myself as just a diabetic. And I fully believe that is how I have accepted it. The diabetes is a part of who I am. Just as my eye glasses are, my having a bad back, horrible food allergies, and several other (non-diabetic related) health problems (genetically caused).

    I get up in the morning, check my blood sugar and decide how much insulin to have. Go about my business, have my lunch time insulin go about my business, check my blood sugar before supper then have my supper time insulin. Watch tv then before bedtime check my blood sugar and if necessary have a snack or insulin. It's a part of the routine I have created.

    I also feel if a cure is found when I'm alive that will be great for those younger than me or those not born. If a cure isn't found in my lifetime, all I can say is they have made great strides in how the diabetic takes care of themselves. I began by checking my urine for the sugar levels, not very reliable.
  11. Mommy For Life

    Mommy For Life Approved members

    Aug 29, 2011
    Glad to see this post was bumped. Just what I needed to read today! Over coming fear is my biggest obstacle..my faith helps, but I have moments that literally make me stop breathing because of the fear D brings to my head, heart and soul. It has gotten easier, but if I dwell, the fear quickly comes. Deep breathing and prayers help. Thank you Paula for the reminder that life can go on even when you share it with an elephant! :rolleyes:
  12. Nick Masercola

    Nick Masercola Approved members

    Sep 5, 2011
    Funnily enough I recently wrote about this: http://jdca2025.wordpress.com/2012/03/16/making-peace-with-vulnerability/

    Accepting diabetes is still such a strange idea to me. Not like I'm fighting it ( otherwise it's a battle lost ) but phrasing it like that always weirded me out, as if I was having to "let go" of something by accepting it. I don't know, maybe I'm just an odd guy lol.
  13. kiwikid

    kiwikid Approved members

    Dec 29, 2005
    There is a great post here on parenting a Child with Diabetes:cwds:

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