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Would you tell your 4 year old she was going to die?

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by Kyra's Mom, Jun 13, 2011.

  1. dejahthoris

    dejahthoris Approved members

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    So Levimir does not hurt like Lantus?
     
  2. Marcia

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    When Ab was on MDI, she experienced a lot of burning with lantus. Our endo would have us switch to levemir, but using cold packs helped. Lantus is acidic, I guess that is why the burn.
     
  3. nyholli

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    I'm not shocked. Some men (NOT all, so lets not get ugly), just don't have that "motherly" thing going on. It is almost black and white to them, where with women it is many shades of gray, and for the child "life is a rainbow."

    My opinion is this... a healthy D or non-D child that is not gravely ill, does not need to discuss death unless it needs to be approached (ie: death of a pet, grandparent), but even then the age defines the explanation.

    So my next opinion... and I am famous for using these same tactics and words on my wonderful boyfriend... When the children are asleep or not in ear shot...

    Smack him on the side of his head and ask "what the hell where you thinking?... Better yet, dont answer because I dont want to know and DONT DO IT AGAIN!"

    Now that's my way... the proper way is really talk this out and explain it to him through the eyes of a 4 yr old. I'm sure if he really sat and thought it through, he would realize that it was wrong.

    Being a nurse has nothing to do with his response to your daughter (I'm currently pursing my BSN), if anything he should be trained to be more compassionate.
     
  4. dejahthoris

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    Thank you!
     
  5. Christopher

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    Danielle switched from Lantus to Levemir and it doesn't seem to sting as bad.
     
  6. Beach bum

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    Same thing here. We switched last summer (for untethered) my daughter was apprehensive because she remembered the stinging and after the first injection she said, it didn't sting at all.
     
  7. Melissata

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    I agree that the comment was 100% wrong, and I hope that you can make him understand that he can never say anything like that again. I would also advise you to get him on board right away with taking turns giving shots and testing. He is a nurse for goodness sakes! I had to force the issue with my husband early on, but he was shying away because he thought that I was doing a better job than he would.
    I had to have a serious conversation with my daughter recently when she was ignoring her CGM alarms, shutting them off and not treating the highs or lows. I was very careful in my wording with her, even though she is an adult with an intellectual disability. I wanted to scare her, but not scare her so much that she worried about death.
     
  8. spamid

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    I am just reading this, but my heart broke at your title. I understand your husband was frustrated, but there is NO WAY what he told your DD was in any way appropriate! She cannot understand the concept of death at that age. And you don't want her to think he wants her to die, either.
     
  9. suz

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    This is a great idea - you might even want to consider this approach with your DH :p (joke!)
     
  10. Kyra's Mom

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    Again thank you everyone for your feed back. I have tried many of the suggestions that all of you have offered and have talked to DD's endo about changing to insulin but at this point we are still going with Lantus. I have tried giving the shot and then running, using something to numb the area, distraction, sticker charts and just bribery but DD has not found any of these tactics to be her style. She likes to negotiage each shot, its just her personality. She has always been a control freak and I think that this is why DH and DD don't see eye to eye very often, they are to much alike. Personality wise she is his mini me.

    I have not decided wether to show this tread to DH, the only reason that I have been considering it is becuse he is a very black and white person and does not understand that honesty is not the best policy when it comes to a 4 year old. He truly see nothing wrong with telling anyone the truth, I some times think that he has no filter between his brain and his mouth. DD does not appreciate his honest answers, and many times I have found that I don't always appreciate his honesty. He is flawed just like me. I can not say that I have been perfect with the way that I have handled every situation since DD dx, but today is a new day with a new challenge and I have to keep moving forward.
     
  11. Lisa P.

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    Thanks for letting us know how it's going!
     
  12. StillMamamia

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    Not sure if it has been mentioned, so sorry if it's a repeat but there's Inject-Ease to help out with the shots and also something else which acts like an injection site and you leave it in and give the shot through that (forgot the name, ack!). Maybe check into those. Also, getting the child involved in some of the easier steps, like holding the vial while you prep the area or letting her count to 3 or whatever may help.
     
  13. jules12

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    Since she likes to be in control, have you tried giving her some control over the situation? What I mean by that is tell her having the shot is not negoitable but where she gets the shot (which side or spot) could be her choice and when - I know it has to be at the same time each night but let her decide before or after she brushes her teeth or before or after a story. It may not work but it helped with my son when he didn't want to poke his fingers.

    I try to give him as many options/choices as he can have over what happens to his body - He knows there are some things I won't budge on but he likes the other control.
     
  14. bisous

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    Aw. That is tough. I can actually see DH saying something similar without thinking but when corrected he'd see that he was wrong.

    I don't know if it would help your DH or not to read this thread. I hope he does get that a different tactic would be better. I'm sorry your DD has to think about death at age 4.

    Good luck working this out. We've all had kids who are reluctant to get shots but I'll tell you it definitely gets better!
     

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