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Will it ever get easier?

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by shannong, Nov 29, 2012.

  1. Helenmomofsporty13yearold

    Helenmomofsporty13yearold Approved members

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    I don't mean to sound heartless, but from what I have observed, the better we handle the diagnosis, the better the child will. They take their cues from us. I swore to DD in the hospital that we would not let this stop her from doing anything that she loves and it has not. She was only 8 at the time. She had a tournament that first weekend and still shone on the ice as she always did. I could take up a lot of screens listing her accomplishments and another bunch of screens listing all the amazing experiences and people Type 1 has brought into her life.

    I have met several adult Type 1's who told me it was tougher on their parents than on themselves. My emotions are more attached to numbers than the diagnosis, but am trying to learn to let go of that, too, as teenagers hate it more than anything.

    Do you have access to a support group or any Type 1 events where you can meet others sharing this journey? The pump companies will often have events with sports stars, etc. who have Type 1. These "heroes' are soooo inspirational, as is watching children's eyes light up when meeting them. Meeting other CWD's and watching them test and bolus helps a lot, too.
     
  2. liasmommy2000

    liasmommy2000 Approved members

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    I don't know about easier, but you get used to it for the most part. I think the driving analogy is good. Once you've been driving a few years it's just something you do. Some people do enjoy it (like my husband) but for many of us it's scary at first and then just a way to get someplace and something that needs to be done. We may not enjoy it but it's not a big deal. However on occasion something will pop up like snow, ice or traffic that makes it miserable. But then you are back to it being just something you get through and don't consciously think about too much for the most part.

    Seriously the first few months are just awful. Then it gets easier but still rather miserable for the first year. The next year or so has ups and downs but as the years go on they are fewer and fewer. Oh the numbers will still be up and down very often. There will be bad moments but you'll get through them without too much stress and forget about them except what you learned from them. The truly bad moments will be relegated to a couple times a year maybe. and even those don't compare IMO to what you go through at first. *Knock wood* the last bad freak out, make us both cry, lots of drama etc moment was almost a year ago. Hope we are not due lol. However we are heading into the teen years and those can be quite difficult from everything I've heard. Not for all, but many.
     
  3. heypb

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    For me in the first few weeks and months, the worrying felt all encompassing. As time has passed, I still worry, but it has been much less intense.

    As he grows, I'm sure I will worry more at some stages than others. But each new experience includes a lot of learning. And with that learning comes a sense of confidence that we will tackle new challenges as they come. I take a lot of comfort in that.
     
  4. Mish

    Mish Approved members

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    without hijacking the OP's thread, I just wanted to touch on this a little. I heard a very good talk from a very prominent endocrinologist and he said that he hears this phrase from parents more than any other phrase. And what he tells the parents (and it's usually the mom) is to take that part of diabetes which you CAN take. Take it from him. Do the logging. Do the bg checking. Do the shots, or the site changes. Do the things that are a royal pain for your child. Your child will learn anyway, he'll still leave home independent, but use that desire to take diabetes away to take on the parts of it which you can. You will never have diabetes. But you can lessen their burden.
     
  5. obtainedmist

    obtainedmist Approved members

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    Maybe I'm a bad mother...but by the time Molly went off to college, though nervous at first, I had many days where I didn't worry or think about Diabetes. The second year away from home, those worry days are becoming fewer and far between! She is on her own life's journey and though for now D has a back seat where ever she goes, it hasn't stopped her from doing anything. The first year away, she told me that D was in the "major hassle" category in her life. This year, she told me that she hardly thinks about it in a negative way and just does what she needs to do to keep herself healthy and safe. :cwds:
     
  6. DsMom

    DsMom Approved members

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    That doesn't make you a bad mother...just a normal one! I think parents feel this way about their nonD kids as well...I know that I will worry like crazy about my (nonD) oldest daughter down the road when she goes off to college. By the time Daniel (with D) goes..I'll most likely be a lot less nervous about things in general...although I know I will be hoping, praying, and checking in about his D. And, like anything, I'll get used to him being away and being an adult and caring for himself. I've seen my niece grow from a 2 year old with D to an adult...and I've seen my sister (her mom) adapt to each stage wonderfully. It can be done!! I will worry about all my kids to varying degrees for different reasons...but, as you said, probably not EVERY day!

    I'm a lot more nervous thinking about my kids driving as teens...now THAT terrifies me!!:eek:
     
  7. shannong

    shannong Approved members

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    Thanks so much for all your responses, it is really a lifeline for me. I feel this enormous weight on my shoulders and most days feel like I carry it alone. But everyone's insights on this forum really help to ease the difficulties. Initially I thought that I would simply take direction from my son's "diabetes team" - the nurses and doctors made it all sound so simple and straightforward - "just adjust his dose if you see a pattern of 3 days of highs or 2 of lows". It was actually as I learned more that it got harder. It is not simple and straightforward. This has taken an adjustment to deal with this fact. Last week I really felt at the end of my rope, but I think I am starting to come out of that fog. In fact today I dealt with one of my worst fears - my son had a stomach bug and was vomiting all day long. But I dealt with it calmly and not emotionally and we are getting through it. My emotions are often tied to his numbers - bad numbers have meant bad days for me. From what I have learned from others, I would like to move towards an approach that treats the highs/lows, and moves on. I look forward to the good days ahead because I am sure there will be lots of them.
     
  8. Mommy For Life

    Mommy For Life Approved members

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    YES THIS!

    Don't let ANY number on a meter make you feel bad! Numbers are just the disease, they are not an accurate reflection of the hard work and emotional investment we make to keep our D kids healthy and happy! :cwds:

    Hope your lil' guy feels better soon!
     
  9. DsMom

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    That was initially one of my greatest fears as well. You will find that each time you face one of these challenges and get through them, you will feel more confident in your D managing abilities...and the next time will be easier and less emotional. THAT is how you get to that treat and move on stage. Once you've "been there, done that" for most D experiences, things feel much more technical and less scary. Those high numbers become a problem to solve...not that you don't feel for your child and still curse D at times...:rolleyes:

    Hope your son is feeling better.:cwds:
     

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