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When to leave child with diabetes alone

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by KellyM79, Jul 19, 2013.

  1. KellyM79

    KellyM79 New Member

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    Hi all, please give me some advice. My daughter is 12 and was diagnosed with diabetes in January after becoming ill with dka. Since school let out for the summer I had a week off, then my mother in law was visiting from out of state for two weeks and this week my daughter is at day camp. Next week I have her signed up for a home daycare where my bosses 9 year old daughter goes. The care taker has 5 kids in her care. No problem right? Except my dd wants NOTHING to do with it at all. She just wants to stay home. I have two older daughters, one is working and the other is in summer school and gets home at 1:00. My dd12 was alone during the school year for no more than a half hour each day after school. But ALL day makes me so uneasy. I'm afraid of her having a low with no one around. Are my fears justified or am I being overprotective? Getting her to go to daycare (hate the baby term) will be a battle at first. But besides the reassurance of her being around others all day I really think she'd enjoy it. She loves making things and the sitter has a lot of art supplies. She's so social I don't know why she'd rather be alone. She loves to play board games ect. And there is an 11yo there as well , the others are young. Any advice?!!
     
  2. mmgirls

    mmgirls Approved members

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    Is there anyone that you know that needs a mothers helper? send and pay your dd to go and help a mom that will be there but needs help with her little ones?

    Personally 12 is a great age but only if you have tried it out before and have a few hours alone under your belt before her being left for a whole week for most of the day.
     
  3. danismom79

    danismom79 Approved members

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    This is my daughter's first summer staying home alone, but she's 14 and has had diabetes for 5 years. I don't think I would have let her stay alone for more than a few hours 6 months in, especially since she would never give herself a shot. She'd rather starve, and then we'd have a different set of problems.

    How many hours would she be alone, and how is her self-care? Does she check and bolus appropriately? Does she feel her lows? Would the daughter who gets home at 1 be willing to stay with her until you got back? Can you send her to "daycare" just a few times a week?
     
  4. mom24grlz

    mom24grlz Approved members

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    Ashleigh was dx at age 11. I gradually increased the time she was allowed to stay alone. Starting at a couple minutes and working her way up. I remember the first time she stayed alone for an hour. I was nervous, but she was perfectly fine. I always make sure she has my cell phone #, and can call me, her dad, or grandma.
     
  5. KatieSue

    KatieSue Approved members

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    Mine was diagnosed at 13 so had already been staying home before that. She also hated the summer programs we found for her. Maybe make her go for a week with the caveat that if she truly hates it after the week she can stay home.

    If you can call/text her every couple of hours and your other daughter is home at one it should be fine. Mine tends to run higher when she stays home because she's just vegging on the couch.

    She's 17 now and she still stresses me out in the summer when I go to work and she's still asleep and sleeps in till 10 or 11. But she will text me or call as soon as she gets up.
     
  6. obtainedmist

    obtainedmist Approved members

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    As others have said, I think this really depends on her maturity and the level to which she participates in her own care without reminders. If she carb counts well, tests frequently and has ample supply to quick carbs, I wouldn't worry about her going low. Still, having some structure to the day would be nice for a 12 year old. Is there a class she could do in the morning...some theatre program or arts class? If she agreed to get up and test before I left the house in the morning and then stay up after that I would feel more comfortable, especially with the older sister coming home at 1:00.
     
  7. mamattorney

    mamattorney Approved members

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    I agree 100% with obtainedmist and was just about to type something very similar.
     
  8. Amy C.

    Amy C. Approved members

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    My son was left alone when he could feel his lows. He was about 9 at the time.
     
  9. LoveMyHounds

    LoveMyHounds Approved members

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    Where do you live? Maybe you should find the other CWD to keep her company ;)?
     
  10. AJMom

    AJMom Approved members

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    Glad to read this thread as we are just now considering leaving DD alone. She is responsible, does most her care without fuss.
    Our biggest concern - we live out in the country - no neighbors for several acres! I work 1 hour from home, DH is about 40 minutes. She is begging all the time to leave her home alone. We have for quick trips into town, but nothing longer. During the working week we have a person come to our home to care for DD. She tells us all the time she isn't a baby anymore and can stay here alone!

    I guess for us it is more about the location of our home! Any one else live far out of town and far from neighbors and leave their D child home alone?
     
  11. MomofSweetOne

    MomofSweetOne Approved members

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    I had the 911 system in our town mark that there is a T1 in our home, so that if my daughter ever can't communicate information due to a severe low, they would know why and come prepared. They told me they appreciated the information. I'd recommend doing so if your kids are starting to stay alone.
     
  12. Turtle1605

    Turtle1605 Approved members

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    I think how fast you can get home is a huge factor. If you can talk with her frequently and get home within a few minutes, I think that may be doable. If it takes you quite a while to get home, that would make me nervous.
     
  13. Sarah Maddie's Mom

    Sarah Maddie's Mom Approved members

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    If you take D out of the equation, would you still let her spend a week home alone?
     
  14. Lee

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    Every state has different home alone/latchkey laws in place. I would visit your state's Human Services department for more information.
     
  15. mmgirls

    mmgirls Approved members

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    I think that the biggest issue in this case is not that her dd is old enough to be alone till 1 pm when the sister will get home, but that it is untested.

    Some states do not have regulation on being home alone, just when they can be left in the care of a younger sibling.

    I know a few years ago I looked at it because a few boys ended up at our house after school natter being left alone.

    So even if it is OK, some are not as ready as they might say they are.
     
  16. KellyM79

    KellyM79 New Member

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    Great idea momofsweetone about 911 knowing we have a t1. Lovemyhounds-we live in central mass. I think I will do what katiesue suggested and have her attend for a week and then decide. At least at care she will get out and have some fun this summer instead of sitting home alone. Thanks to all who replied. :)
     
  17. liasmommy2000

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    There are so many variables it's hard to say. Is there anyone nearby who can check on her? How many hours would she be alone? How mature is she? Does she feel her lows? Have a CGM etc? The mother's helper's idea is a good one. I know my dd would flip out at the thought of a child care program at this age. When she was younger she sometimes did that in the summer, other times my mom or sister would watch her. She didn't like the child care program and we stopped a couple of summers ago.

    We just started letting dd stay home alone for an hour or two a year ago at age twelve. Now at thirteen she does stay home during the summer when we are at work. It's about nine hours. However she's had D since she was five, feels her lows and has a Dexcom. She also has my sister who lives around the corner about a mile who can come check on her and will if I call. My sister is a teacher who is home during the summer and is a homebody so is usually home. Also usually at least three days a week she ends up being picked up by her BFF's mom, my sister, my mother or a family friend to go do something fun like swimming, bowling, movies or just hang out etc. So it's generally only one or two days a week that she's home alone all day.
     
  18. missmakaliasmomma

    missmakaliasmomma Approved members

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    I don't even know if I'd leave a 12 yr old WITHOUT diabetes alone lol. That's probably just me, I'm just paranoid.
     
  19. sooz

    sooz Approved members

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    Kristen, that's me too. I recently questioned a fb friend because she was asking how much her 12 year old should charge for babysitting! I think it is partly a geographical decision.
     
  20. missmakaliasmomma

    missmakaliasmomma Approved members

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    I'm pretty sure my husband's niece "babysits" and she's like 11. I'm over here thinking, "she should have a babysitter!!"
     

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