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When Did Neighbors Stop Being Neighborly?

Discussion in 'Parents Off Topic' started by MamaBear, Jan 31, 2011.

  1. fredntan2

    fredntan2 Approved members

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    Sorry to hear about your ankle.
    there is a good website with lots of tips. may not totally apply to you since yourleg isn't broken, but it is

    www.mybrokenleg.com

    we don't really interact with our neighbors either (cept for my sister who lives in neighborhood:))

    our neighbors are strange...one on moving in my DH was walking by and was going to speak to a new neighbor...new neighbor said "we aren't ready to met the new neighbors" then there is the neighbor who has a 4'tall cast iron mailbox..that he takes in every night. its on rollers. and he has short drive...as he's getting older you will see it out more overnight, but come sunday it isn't there...His name is MailBoxMan....then there is our neighbor who screamed at DH for complaining about his JackRussel terrier that was constantly barking for hours in day/into night. "tobyhas to have a life" ...Toby is so old/fat now he can't bark for hours on end like he used to..then there's always the neighbor threating you with "i've got a gun"
     
  2. MamaBear

    MamaBear Approved members

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    Thanks all for the well wishes on the ankle. I am in pain, I am BORED on the sofa. Tired of reading and tired of DVDs. I have work I need to do and tax stuff I need to do (small business) but can't get to any of it. And I need groceries and don't live by any stores that deliver. Did rangle someone to get me milk and eggs today though. I want to walk and I want to drive! And I know it's going to be a few more weeks at least... I should say I hope.

    Those of you who posted about having great neighbors, you are SO lucky! I miss things like block parties, and knowing everyone on the block by name, first and last, and even knowing their pet's names. Having people who look out for you and you look out for them. That was a nice feeling. I think part of the problem is the block we are on, I've notice so many people move in and move out, maybe the people who are anchored here are just not bothering to get involved with anyone because they move out so quickly. I don't know.
     
  3. Kaylas mom

    Kaylas mom Approved members

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    Hope you are feeling better soon. We have a mixed bag of neighbors. Most of them I know and like, we say hi or wave. There are a couple that regardless of trying to be friendly (seriously, their kids came to our house to play and I used to drive one of their kids to school) they just aren't the type that wave or acknowledge our existence. lol.. oh well!
     
  4. MamaBear

    MamaBear Approved members

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    Thank you. Most of our neighbors are the type that don't seem to notice if you wave or say hi. I do know the names of our neighbors to the left of us. We have watched their dogs before. But they work out of town so we hardly ever see them. Other than that, wave, get snubbed, oh well.
     
  5. angiej

    angiej Approved members

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    Could part of the problem be this great big world wide community we have here?

    Once upon a time (pre internet you could suggest) for most people the only community you had any access to WAS the people in your local neighbourhood - less people drove cars, so you spent a lot more time with the people close by. They may not have been your first choice of neighbour, but hey, they were your neighbour so you were neighbourly.

    These days it is easier to pick and choose your community. We drive cars, so can travel further for our friendships, we have computers wo we can seek out the people we choose to find. There is less 'requirement' to be nice to those around us, as frankly we don't need them so much any more. We start to be suspicious of others and build our fences (both physical and emotional) higher.

    That said, I miss the sense of community I grew up with, and as a stay at home mum, I wish there was a greater sense of neighbourliness and local community :( We have neighbours both sides, those on our right we get on with well and are friendly with, the other side it is a very different matter. As for the dozen or so houses across the road, I wouldn't have a clue - I'm not sure I would recognise their occupants if I saw them :rolleyes:
     
  6. MamaBear

    MamaBear Approved members

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    Hmmm internet probably does have alot to do with it. Makes sense.
     
  7. Bigbluefrog

    Bigbluefrog Approved members

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    Maybe the neighbor on the other side is nicer!

    I am always talking to my neighbors, especially during Summer.

    I think we tend to get too busy to take the time to visit. Most of my neighbors are retired and I love it! They have time to visit. Some stay at home moms too. I agree we need to make an effort to slow down and have a cup of coffee and get to know are neighbors.
     
  8. ScottB

    ScottB Approved members

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    I think what I find most disturbing is the fact that being a good neighbor is becoming so rare that when help is offered, it is often met with skepticism from the person the help is being offered to. I've had more than a few occasions where I offered to lend a hand, I could tell from the look on the person's face that the thoughts going through their mind was "Why is he wanting to help? What is he expecting in return? What is his motive for wanting to help?". I feel my motivation ought to be clear, you don't owe me a thing, I'm simply offering to lend a hand. For whatever reason the idea of helping someone simply because I actually give a rats a.. about my fellow human being is incomprehensible to so many people. I'm a firm believer that what goes around comes around and if every one on this planet cared at least a little bit for their fellow human being, this world would be a much better place.
     
    Last edited: Feb 2, 2011
  9. Lisa P.

    Lisa P. Approved members

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    I agree.
    Interacting with people can get complicated, and some folks feel they are protecting themselves by limiting how much they do it. It is too bad. I think folks are feeling overwhelmed these days and it makes them want to guard themselves, we lose opportunities to help each other.
     
  10. McKenna'smom

    McKenna'smom Approved members

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    OP - I'm so sorry you don't have a good relationship with your neighbors. I have to say that we are also lucky in that we have a great neighborhood support system and have had to use it several times. Our neighbors' daughter has had medical issues and we have been there to help on many occassions. In turn, during my cancer treatment and during my daughter's D dx, our neighbors were there to help. We have even vacationed with our neighbors. We are very fortunate to have such wonderful neighbors.
     
  11. joy orz

    joy orz Approved members

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    Sorry about your ankle. I hope it heals well soon!

    As for neighbors, I guess the grass isn't greener. We live in the city but it has a very small town feel. Everyone on the block knows us. There is certainly the "quirky" factor. We have one guy who has some clear mental health issues, but every one else is lovely.

    I've had people walk my dog after I've had surgery, take me to the ER when I've had an accident, ring my bell to tell me my car lights were on, AND call to offer a parking space during a snow storm. :D

    My mom and in-laws who live in the suburbs, don't even know the neighbors names.

    I think part of the trick is to say hello and smile alot, even if the person is a nutter. :p We've also hosted plenty of BBQ's.

    If you miss the good old days of knowing your neighbors, throw some dogs on the grill and put up signs saying "Come and meet your neighbors, all welcome!"

    Before kids we did this every year. We've fallen out of the habit abit as things got busy with the munchins, but it is a great way to get to know people.
     

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