I apologize in advance for the excessive reading, I have been stuck with this issue for a few years now and never seem to have gotten any help with it, even from my doctors. Well, I'll start with my dx. I was diagnosed at the age of seven, My mom, Kimberly is a type 1 diabetic as well, So we caught on early and caught onto it very early so there were no complications there. I was pretty well controlled as a young child, I was giving myself my own injections within the first week, and my blood sugar rarely ever went out of range. Then, once I hit puberty at around age thirteen, Everything changed. My body starting rejecting my insulin. It had gotten to the point where my blood sugars never went lower than the high 300's and my a1c shot to around nine. I assume, Not knowing what she was doing, my doctors told me this was normal for teens and kind of "let it slip" and just raised my insulin intake. Well, Now, at the age of 15 my diabetes is far more uncontrollable than ever. Even with 53u of lantus at night, 1 unit of humalog for every 5 grams of carbs and 1 unit to bring my glucose down every 20, I am ALWAYS above 400. I hold a normal diet, When I can bring myself to eat. I am not the kind of person that eats sweet food all the time, etc. It has gotten to the point where I can only eat something small like a slimjim for the day. My a1c is currently 12, on the dot. And I ALWAYS feel like I'm dying. I don't know what puts this on, nor do I know why it is happening to me. I see all of my type 1 diabetic friends leading normal lives, Skateboarding, Going to parties, etc and STILL feeling completely normal the next day. Don't get me wrong, I am happy that they get to be kids, But, I want to be one too. It's so darned discouraging not being able to be there for friends and family because I'm laying in the living room drinking gallons of water and sleeping all day. Just the other day it was mine and my girlfriend of 2 years anniversary and I couldn't even do anything for her because I was sleeping from being up all night vomiting. I used to be a happy kid, But now all I want is death. I don't want to end up going blind, or losing limbs because of this. I have done nothing to deserve this pain. I feel so utterly alone, Like noone knows what its like to feel this way, although I'm sure there is, Which is why I joined this community. I don't expect answers to magically fix my condition, I just need to know, that there is someone out there that knows what this pain feels like..