- advertisement -

What do you say?

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by rachel's mom, Jun 27, 2007.

  1. Traci

    Traci Approved members

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2006
    Messages:
    857
    Scott, I agree.

    Whatever the situation, people are going to make comments. I really don't think they are mean spirited, I think they are just saying something to say something, know what I mean? I have triplets and used to get so annoyed when people would ask if they were "natural." Now, I long for the days when that was the most offensive question I would routinely hear--as opposed to comments like "I guess you fed him too much sugar, huh?" Like I said, I think people are just trying to add something to the conversation--even if they don't have a clue about the subject matter. Honestly, unless it's a close friend or family member, I don't take offense and I keep my answers short and to the point--it's not like they are really paying attention to my responses anyway. They are waiting for an opening to tell me about how I could be just giving my son a pill just like their grandma who has diabetes, too. ;)
     
  2. kel4han

    kel4han Approved members

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2006
    Messages:
    1,318
    Like Charlett said, she is a nurse and never knew truely about D.....My dad is type 1, and I thought I knew all about this....until I got it myself......then it was even more unknown craziness when Maddison was diagnosed! Its so different to manage kids! My mother in law is an RN and still questions me all the time like I dont know what I am doing.....or like I am too protective, thats when it gets me too, when people think I am overly protective. Otherwise I have learned to let others comments go thank goodness, it was driving me mad!
     
  3. ScottB

    ScottB Approved members

    Joined:
    May 7, 2007
    Messages:
    1,634
    I just got done reading a post about how someone on this site had issues with an IKEA furniture store and I must admit that's one case where my patience would run thin too. Any time you or your child gets singled out and your explanations do nothing but fall on deaf ears, my patience would snap as well and the jerk in question better run for cover. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt but I do have limits when dealing with ignorance.

    Another one that I was informed of is if someone started talking about losing a leg or eyesight in front of our son. Regardless of how innocent their conversation would be, I'd still think of something I forgot to do so I could walk away or change the subject fast.
     
  4. deafmack

    deafmack Approved members

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2006
    Messages:
    3,209
    People do not get it right about Type 2 either. Believe me, there is no cure for either and you cannot outgrow either. Just because someone's aunt had it or has it does not mean they know anything.
     
  5. TheFormerLantusFiend

    TheFormerLantusFiend Approved members

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2006
    Messages:
    4,925
    I tell people that I have autoimmune diabetes and my beta cells are dead meat, literally, and there's no way they're making a comeback, and I can't do a diet because that only works if you've got SOME insulin, and either I have none, or I will soon have none.
    If people ask me about which is worse, I tell them that not taking type 2 diabetes seriously leads to having type 2s generally having worse control than type 1 adults, and frankly I think that having control feels lots better.
    I tell them about neuropathy, nephropathy, retinopathy. I tell them about DKA and hypoglycemia. I tell them about insulin sensitivity and what it means for type 1 and type 2 diabetes. I tell them about genetics and about the immune system and then I ask them to spit something back at me, and I hope that they get the following:
    1) Diabetics who pass out probably have low blood sugar- don't even THINK about giving them more insulin.
    2) Eating sugar won't kill me.
    3) Diet won't cure me.
    4) Diabetes is complicated.
     
  6. Mommaof7

    Mommaof7 Approved members

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2007
    Messages:
    84
    I understand your frustration, I also know that before my son's diagnosis I was ignorant too. The thing I struggle with the most is when some family member who is grossly overweight (there are a few) who have T2 and who know the difference still insist on making like they have the same situation my son does. These are people who aren't on insulin, but know if they don't change they will be. They still continue to eat poorly and refuse to exercise. They then compare my son to them, as if it was the same. It's so hard because I want to scream out, "You idiot, if you stopped stuffin' your face and exercised you could change so much, MY SON doesn't get that option, he's 3 and this is his life for life, my life and one day his wifes life there's no changing it!" I have held my tongue, LOL.
     
  7. mrjester12

    mrjester12 Approved members

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2007
    Messages:
    35
    Our 9 yr old son was just diagnosed last week. (Wow its amazing how it looks so much like a flu or something until their sugars get near 600). My sons BG was at 618 when we took him to the emergency room. Both of us feel so guilty we didn't take him sooner. But that just goes to show you that noone really knows anything about it unless they have dealt with it themselves. So, we don't usually get upset when somone thinks they know. The only time i've gotten annoyed is with my mother shortly after we got home for the hospital. She was Dx'ed with Type 2 about a year ago. Personaly i think its because she doesn't make an attempt to eat right or exercise. The exercise part i can't blame her since she's had about 5 back surgeries and 3 strokes.(luckily she has no real permanent damage from the strokes). Back to the subject, she proceeded to tell me how i needed to restrict his diet and all this stuff that she does. When i tried to explain to her that what my son had was really different then hers she got upset. She's still upset thinking i didn't want her info. Her doctor apparently told her that the only difference between type 1 and 2 is that my sons under 18 so they Dx'ed him with type 1. I tried not to laugh when she told me that and nicely suggested that she find a new doctor. It is irritating to me that she is upset about it. I explained the differences to her as best i could. Being only 2 weeks in here i don't expect i'm anywhere near as informed as others here, but i do recognize a major difference between type 1 and 2. Also, am i the only one amazed at how someone with type 2 can be so misinformed on the differences? Everyone i've talked to with type 2 thinks they know all about it and honestly they know nothing.
     
    Last edited: Jul 1, 2007
  8. AP-Dad

    AP-Dad Approved members

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2007
    Messages:
    44
    mrjester, sorry to hear about your ds's dx. Don't feel guilty about what you believe is a delay in bringing him to the hospital. Our dd was dka for 2 days (bad breath, labored breathing, a vomit incident at dinner, etc). We took her the first night to the ER and they sent her home. The next day she went limp and unresponsive on us and we rushed to the ER again. So overall, two peds and an ER staff did not pick up the fact that she was DKA.

    I saw this article this morning, and I think we should remember that it's easy to have the wrong information. You have to look carefully to see they are talking about type 2.

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/main.jhtml?xml=/earth/2007/07/02/scigenes202.xml
     
  9. 3js

    3js Approved members

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2007
    Messages:
    942

    that was incredibly offensive. this is the type of comment t2`s complain about.:rolleyes:
     
  10. Mommaof7

    Mommaof7 Approved members

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2007
    Messages:
    84
    As I said before, I don't say it, it's what is in my heart. I'm greatly offended by those who hurt me and my son by their assumption that it's not big deal and he's okay. I assumed this was a forum where if needed we could vent our frustration's. If you knew my family at all, you'd know that they can be heartless and cruel, and this is one thing they have used lately. Again, I never say it to them, because I won't however it is what my heart feels and I can't apologize for that.
     
  11. 3js

    3js Approved members

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2007
    Messages:
    942
    I`m not suggesting that venting is wrong. But that comment is offensive to read on here. There are many people here who have t2, and I had gestational diabetes. I WAS overweight, and it is VERY upsetting having an illness with such a stigma attatched to it.

    I`m not really sure why you think it is ok to make comments on here (or anywhere, in any context) about t2`s stuffing their faces. Whatever. I found it very hurtful and offensive. Not to mention uninformed. Just a chubby lady`s two cents.
     
  12. Mommaof7

    Mommaof7 Approved members

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2007
    Messages:
    84
    As I said before, I was referring to my own personal family who in no way take care of themselves via exercise or eating, they gorge themselves literally then assume my son is just like them and will be fine, it was not a personal attack. Yes, I did feel that here is where we can vent our frustrations and anger, again you are taking a comment personally that has NOTHING to do with you, I said MY FAMILY and THEIR COMMENTS, not yours.
     
  13. Mommaof7

    Mommaof7 Approved members

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2007
    Messages:
    84
    For what it's worth, I too am a chubby lady and on top of that gestastional diabetic and in my 7th month of pregnancy, so again, don't take my frustration with my family and their attacks personally. Not sure why you felt it necessary to post that your chubby, again, not talking about you.
     
  14. 3js

    3js Approved members

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2007
    Messages:
    942
    People ARE usually overweight from overeating/not exercising. That doesn`t mean that it is ok to make nasty comments about it- the fact is people who are overweight and have t2 DON`T like hearing comments like that - period. It makes no matter whether you are talking about your OWN family or not. It was rude. I`m not even commenting anymore. It is ridiculous to be going back and forth on when it is ok to slag (in print or otherwise) obese people.
     
  15. Mommaof7

    Mommaof7 Approved members

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2007
    Messages:
    84
    I guess posts don't come across right. I'm sorry your offended, but what they do hurts me. It's rude to me. It's offensive to me. It's damages me. My son is clueless and defensless, yet they persist. So I guess it makes it okay, to say nothing cause they are overweight and REFUSE to do anything to help themselves, your right, I should feel nothing and let my son defend for himself.
     
  16. deafmack

    deafmack Approved members

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2006
    Messages:
    3,209
    I have type 2 and I would never presume to know what it is like for another person with diabetes. I have another friend who is type 2 and is totally insulin dependent. I may have diabetes and your child has diabetes but we are two different people so our experience with diabetes is completely different. No 2 of us are alike. When a person says they understand because they have a relative or a friend with diabetes I think NOT!.
     
  17. deafmack

    deafmack Approved members

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2006
    Messages:
    3,209
    I have type 2 and I am trying to learn as much as I can not only about Type 2 but also about Type 1 and the other forms of diabetes such as LADA and MODY. There is so much to learn and I figure we can all teach each other through our own experiences and support each other also.
     
  18. mrjester12

    mrjester12 Approved members

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2007
    Messages:
    35
    Deafmack- when i was talking about someone being misinformed i was talking about one specific person, not type 2 patients in general. I don't understand how my mother could be so misinformed. Especially by the doctor thats treating her diabetes :p. The main thing that bothers me is that the media concentrates on Type 2 when running stories to educate people on signs and treatments. Thats probably because only 10% of diabetic patients are acctually type 1. But if they concentrated on teaching about both types mabey so many children wouldn't be in such bad shape when they are rushed to the hospital. Parents would recognize the symtoms.
     
    Last edited: Jul 4, 2007
  19. DebK

    DebK Approved members

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2007
    Messages:
    7
    Hi Rachel's mom,

    I've had T1 for 41 years and recently started using a Minimed 722 pump. I have not always been diligent about watching the foods I eat and have had plenty of episodes of high and low blood sugars. I think each diabetic is affected a little differently by the disease/disorder (I've heard it called both). Some have more difficulties than others, but I've always felt there needs to be a balance of insulin, food, and exercise and each diabetic needs to find his/her own balance. Obviously everyone has to have a "starting point", but it's going to be a day-to-day challenge to discover how things effect the person with D. Learn as much as you can and use that knowledge along with your "gut instinct" about how things are affecting your child. Hopefully it will not seem such a challenge the longer you deal with it---it will seem very normal. That I know for a fact! Good luck and try not to get overwhelmed.
    DebK
     
  20. MsBeckaroo

    MsBeckaroo Approved members

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2007
    Messages:
    50

    Hi ~ just wanted to add my 2 cents about what to say to people...:)

    I was so utterly stunned and totally clueless when my son was diagnosed, that I (almost) always go easy on people when they ask about it, or I have to mention it. I never know quite how much info to share. I usually find myself working my way back to time-of-diagnosis and say, "yeah, he had been dehydrated for 2 weeks, lost 8 lbs, blood sugar was 968, (they never know what that means) and Dr. said he wouldn't have made it through the night...blah, blah, blah..."

    Then I start going into his daily regimen, then I usually cut myself off when I notice them still trying to digest the first part. I am still trying to work on giving them the minimal info to satisfy their basic curiosity, but at the same time, not down-playing how huge it is. It's a hard balance. But, sometimes depending on the situation, I feel myself getting on the defensive... Like one day my ds came home from school and said his sub teacher thought his pump was an MP3 player, and told him she better not see him using it again... (in my mind I'm ready to call the principal and give her a piece of my mind about the sub, and I can feel my blood starting to boil,) and my son says "I just said oh that's my insulin pump and the teacher apologized over and over again and they both laughed about it." We D parents are just a fierce power to reckon with! My son takes it in total stride. I try to take my cues from him.

    I don't know if you'll get this reply, since your post is a few weeks old. But I just felt like venting, and also wanted to say thanks for your message. Thanks for listening.

    ~Becka :D
     

Share This Page

- advertisement -

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice