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What a day....

Discussion in 'Teens OT' started by Poodle, Oct 10, 2011.

  1. Poodle

    Poodle Approved members

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    So, today I have been so upset. My parents have been sleeping in seperate rooms for about a month now. I thought they'd get over their problems but, it turns out they aren't. My mom is fileing for divorce. I feel like its my fault. I am so mad and upset, I just needed to type things out. I just dont know what to do and how to tell my friends
     
  2. jbmom1b2g

    jbmom1b2g Approved members

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    All I can offer is Hugs. And dont blame it on yourself it is not your fault.
     
  3. Helenmomofsporty13yearold

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    It is NEVER the kids fault. You will see in time where the cracks in your parents marriage were. I am willing to bet the cracks were there before you were even born.
     
  4. Lisa P.

    Lisa P. Approved members

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    I'm so very sorry. I think it's pretty universal that kids feel at some point that a divorce or separation might be their fault, I hope you work through that soon because it's certain not to be. I'm sure your friends will be there for you.
     
  5. Helenmomofsporty13yearold

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    Lisa is right...your friends will be there for you. It is a fact of life that half of all marriages end in divorce and I am sure your friends will have stories of how their parents' marriages aren't perfect. There are often support groups around for teens whose parents are divorcing. I think it would be very helpful for you to try one. I am divorced myself and found the support groups really helped me understand why relationships end and how to navigate the future. It is soo scary while it is happening, but a new normal will soon set in. Is there a social worker at your endo clinic you could talk to or a guidance counsellor at school or a pastor or minister? I think you should also talk to your parents about how you are feeling.
     
  6. sarahspins

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    It's definitely NOT your fault. It's normal to be mad and upset and even angry at one or both of your parents, but please don't think for a second that any of it has anything to do with you - I promise it doesn't.

    My parents divorced when I was only 6 and my sister and I went to counseling for a couple of years afterwards so we didn't harbor feelings that it was "our" fault... and what's funny about that is that I never once thought that it was, and it seemed like most of the therapy had to do with issues my mom created afterwards (she was very bitter). My dad was (and still is) a jerk, and his relationship with my mom was pretty much doomed from the start. As an adult, looking back on their relationship, I'm shocked that my parents made it as long as they did because they should have split up years sooner than they did.

    If you need someone to talk to, you can start with your school counselor. There may be other community resources available to you - I saw a therapist through our county's MHMR and it was free. Some health insurance will cover counseling too.
     
  7. Poodle

    Poodle Approved members

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    My parents had been together for 28 years. I guess that was a lot. I could see them falling apart for a while now and it just slipped through te ground. My mom was very short tempered while my dad was stubborn. I think I see now the never were "right" for each other.
     

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