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Upsetting Things People Say About Diabetes

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by Richard157, Mar 28, 2013.

  1. Beach bum

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    The one comment I always struggled with was when we were coming home from the hospital and my neighbor was outside and came over to see us. She knew we had been in the hospital and of the diagnosis, so theoretically, she had time to choose her words. But, alas, no. She told my daughter she would be fine, and that she had diabetes when she was pregnant and it went away. Now, my kid was 4 at the time. She took EVERYTHING literally. Almost daily, she came up to ask when her diabetes was going away like Mrs. X did. Now, 7 years later, when she hears the term gestational diabetes, she always take a minute to say "remember when..." and "what the heck was she thinking???":eek::D Out of the mouth of babes.
     
  2. nebby3

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    I have never had too many insensitive comments from strangers. The one from family get to me though.

    Like thinking you know what my dd needs because your dog had D
    Or when we wouldn't let my young dd go to the park with no adults who knew anything about D saying that we shoudl let our other kids go anyway because "she has to learn she is different"
     
  3. Beach bum

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    LOL, reminds me of when my daughter was diagnosed, we were at the hospital and I asked my mom if she felt she was able to give her her shot. My mom looked at me and said "if I can give a wiggling cat her insulin, I think I can give a 4 year old insulin!"

    So, in this case, not insensitive, just funny.
     
  4. pianoplayer4

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    The worst thing said to me was most definitely when my older brother came home from college a few months after my dx and I was showing him my meter.... I asked him if he wanted to test or something and he said


    "No, I won't get diabetes.... I'm healthy!"

    I'm pretty sure I slapped him.
     
  5. sooz

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    This reminded me of the time someone said something non D related that bothered me so much, and still does when think of it. My sweet granddaughter who has D also has a congenital hearing loss and wears hearing aids in both ears. If she were to get hit in the head, she could permanently lose her hearing all together. For this reason the doctors have said she may not play soccer. Ok, so she takes dance instead. Around here almost all little kids do soccer. People understand the explanation of why Hailey doesn't do soccer but question why we didn't put her sister in soccer. They said, "you shouldn't deprive her just because her sister can't play." first of all, she loves dance too, second of all, we don't want to sit on the sidelines and think about how Hailey could lose her hearing for the rest of her life. People need to think before they speak. We feel bad enough without having to defend our actions. We would love it if they could have both done soccer, why make us feel worse about it?
     
  6. nanhsot

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    The most irritating conversation I can recall was with a "friend" who informed me that if I alkalized our water that my son would not be diabetic. Basically she informed me that I had caused his diabetes and I was avoiding fixing it. I took a lot of time calmly educating her on T1 vs T2 (even though I don't think alkalized water would have any effect on T2 either..I just wanted her to understand that his pancreas were not working) since she was intent on trying to convince me if I alkalized my water it would still reverse itself.

    The conversation spiraled down from there. It still makes me raw today. People out there who think they have a cure...don't you think WE would know about something so simple that would reverse my son's need for insulin dripping into his body through a steel cannula. Idiot. I haven't spoken to her since she told me I wasn't truly a Christian...that's how bad the conversation got.
     
  7. Charliesmom

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    Charlie was in speech therapy starting when he was 4. It was through the county so it was at the school and we basically had to have an IEP meeting to go over his progress a few months into it. The kindergarden teacher and vice principal at the meeting began talking about diabetes. The vice principal didn't understand why Charlie couldn't manage his diabetes care on his own. I pointed out Charlie was only 4 years old and then the teacher told me she had a kindergarden student once that totally managed her diabetes on her own. :rolleyes:They acted like I was being ridiculous for not having Charlie do self care.

    I have actually had another friend ask why Charlie needs a buddy check when counting carbs and giving insulin (he's 7) I simply asked her if she would allow her son (he's 8) to get his own Tylenol when he had a headache. She said no. She got the idea.
     
  8. Traci

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    My worst comment was when a high school "friend" said she knew exactly what I was feeling when my son was diagnosed because her cat had diabetes. She's an idiot. :rolleyes: Don't compare your cat to my child.

    Worst information was when a nurse in the hospital told me that my 23 month old child would never be able to drink milk and would have to eat grilled chicken and broccoli for every meal for the rest of his life. The CDE promptly got us a pudding cup to prove that the nurse was wrong.

    I have had well-meaning people tell me about cinnamon and other stuff, and it doesn't really bother me. But if they want to criticize my care, they're gonna have a fight on their hands.
     
  9. greenpalm

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    I thought of another one. I was in the middle of trying to explain that I need to stay with Eleanor now while she goes to dance class. I was pointing out how surprised we were that her BG goes down a lot when she swings on the backyard swing set. I was using that as an example to explain why I we needed to be extra cautious when she is very active, because she could go low. However, my mommy friend interrupted me, before I could even finish talking and said, all excited, "so she really needs the exercise!"

    More of that type 2 thinking.

    I said, "well, she does, we all do, but it can really be dangerous for her to drop too low too quickly."

    The interruption, the assumption, and the misinformation were all frustrating to me. (That's a nice way of saying it pissed me off) :D
     
  10. mmgirls

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    That she would not be able to have children, that she should not be pregnant not only for her but the baby.

    My daughter was less than 5years old at the time.
     
  11. mom2Hanna

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    Mmgirl, best thing said to me after my daughter was dxd was from my sons former kindergarten teacher. She said to me, "I was dxd when I was 7 yrs old, I am very healthy, I had 2 healthy pregnancies and Hanna will be fine." She's the same age as me, mid forties. That one statement made me feel so much better.
     
  12. hawkeyegirl

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    I'm not sure anyone has said anything really stupid about it to me. Probably because I show absolutely no interest in talking about it with acquaintences or strangers and they must pick up on that.
     
  13. StillMamamia

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    Oh, the list is quite big on my part.:eek: But the three best comments I've gotten are:

    - oh, he got it from you then. <<< I don't have D.
    - that's because his chakras are not well aligned. <<< :rolleyes:
    - You should move to Finland. People there have no diabetes. They just eat fish. <<< :D

    Now I still get that icky feeling when confronted with such comments, but I keep calmer and either smile :cwds: and move on or try to explain the ABCs of Type 1 D.

    Oh, there was a good one recently where a mom who has a kid in my son's class told me she told her son not to eat so many sweets otherwise he'll end up like my son.:eek: I told her 1) my son's D has nothing to do with too many sweets and 2) that was not the best thing to say to a kid anyway. She apologized profusely. (not sure if this is the right word:eek: but she was really really sorry).

    The thick skin grows with time. It does itch though sometimes.
     
  14. mmgirls

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    or how about that tingling sensation you get up the back of your neck while you are hoping your face has not gone completly red; as you wait for the person to finish their comment to rebute.
     
  15. skimom

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    worst things were both said by my in laws ( parents and sister - in law):
    1) well it's not from our side of the family
    2) well that's too bad - his life is ruined now

    They have also said a lot of insensitive things over the years and have made NO effort to learn a thing about diabetes. They do donate religiously to diabetes related charities, which is good, but it would be so nice if they showed a little compassion to our kids - or at least keep their mouths shut if they don't know what to say...
     
  16. shannong

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    My family recently had a visit from an aunt that we do not see very much. She has type 2 diabetes and takes oral medication, and rarely does a blood check. But she went on and on about how horrible the lows she had could be and how difficult it was to manage her diabetes. Can you even go low if you don't inject insulin? Anyway, she made it sound almost like my son had it easy compared to what she was going through which is very strange considering my son could never go a day without checking his blood, doing multiple injections, etc. I only wish he could just pop a pill!

    I also find it annoying that many people assume that "after you learn to manage diabetes", life just returns to normal and all the worrying for your child will magically disappear.
     
  17. MapleSyrupMom

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    That's both hilarious and whaaa....? Finland has the highest rate of T1D in the world, per capita! We have family in Finland who, while are all non-D, do not eat a particularly large amount of fish (though the smoked salmon there is rather tasty...). :D
     
  18. susanlindstrom16

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    Just showed this to my husband (who is from Finland)- he cracked up:D

    I had a dad on the playground tell me I should stop giving my daughter insulin and "just get her diet under control." whatever, dude.
     
  19. moco89

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    If somebody says something upsetting to you about diabetes, they probably need to mind their own business.

    Since starting college, I have not had anyone say anything truly misinformed about diabetes or that could be regarded as offensive.

    At least as an adult, nobody has to know about my diabetes, besides my doctor and my family.
     
  20. MomofSweetOne

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    The first time someone said to me, "After two years, you must have her doses stabilized now," I stared at them in such shock that they realized that wasn't the case. I responded, "She's in PUBERTY. Nothing is stable. This is the hardest time of all!" It was only the first of many times I've heard it.

    A couple weeks ago, I was recommending an event that we'd done last summer on vacation to a friend and was telling about D through the event. She had a puzzled look on her face as she was processing what I said and then she commented, "Do you ever get to NOT think about diabetes? Do you have to plan for every activity you do?" When I said schoolwork, etc. is pretty routine but that every event that involves exercise requires a game plan, she shook her head in amazement. It felt so good to have someone recognize the mental fatigue/no break of life with d.
     
    Last edited: Mar 29, 2013

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