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True Love and Type 1 Diabetes

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Richard157, Dec 31, 2016.

  1. Richard157

    Richard157 Approved members

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2007
    Messages:
    524
    My wife, Anita, and I were married in 1964. I had been type 1 for 18 years at that time. I was testing my urine, using animal insulin, and did not know about the effect of carbs on my blood sugar. My control was dismal, with many highs during the day, and some terrible lows at night. I had seizures at night several times each year. My wife was only 20 when we married, and she had a very hard time adjusting to my diabetes, especially the seizures. She became an expert while helping me, and she never complained. In the mid 1980s I had my first meter, I learned about carbs, and I started carb counting with a fast acting insulin in the 1990s. My control improved. There were still frequent lows, but no seizures. In 2007 I started using an insulin pump, and presently I have a Dexcom CGM. My control is so much better, and I never need any help when I have lows, because they are not serious lows.

    Anita remembers the old times when I needed her help so often. She was so frightened when I had seizures so long ago. She is still concerned that I may have very low blood sugar, even though my control has been so good for more than 20 years. She sets the alarm each night for 1, 4 and 7 AM. I check my BG to satisfy her that I am okay. She cannot sleep unless I am in good shape. She checks with me several times each day, especially before meals, to be sure that everything is good. (I do have some lows but they are not bad ones, and I can easily take care of myself.)

    Anita's memories of how it used to be causes her to be this way. I cannot take trips by myself, even for a few hours in the afternoon, without her worrying so much about me. She wants to go with me on those occasions to keep a watch on me. Her being this way really gets on my nerves, but I rarely complain. She probably saved my life several times in the past, so I appreciate her attention, even though it is no longer necessary. I want to attend diabetes conferences, and make other trips without her going with me. She does not like to travel, she loves staying at home. She went with me to the Friends For Life conference in Orlando in 2015, and we are planning to attend the Unconference in October, 2017. I would like to attend more diabetes related meetings, and conferences, including the FFL's in Canada and the UK, but this will not happen. I love Anita so much, and cannot ask her to take all those trips. She loves me so much that she would insist on going with me. Love and a great marriage is wonderful, but I do want to travel more. I will just count my blessings, and take only an occasional trip. <Sigh>

    I hope that all your type 1 children will find a spouse that will love, and take good care of them.
     
  2. rgcainmd

    rgcainmd Approved members

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    Thank you, Richard, for sharing your story, and for the warm wishes for our children with D! ❤
     
  3. Artgirl

    Artgirl Approved members

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    Nov 15, 2015
    Messages:
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    Very nice of you to appreciate your wife, she sounds special. My daughter only 17 sometimes worries if there will be a special someone for her due to her t1. I wish that for all people with diabetes. Thanks for sharing your story.
     
  4. MomofSweetOne

    MomofSweetOne Approved members

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    2,665
    My daughter says T1D is a good screening filter, that if someone doesn't want to deal with her T1D, they aren't worth being in a relationship with anyway.
     
  5. Danielle2008

    Danielle2008 Approved members

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2008
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    1,548
    Love hearing about your relationship, Richard.

    I think when one finds the right match, it doesn't matter what each other's faults are.

    My SO and I met under very unusual circumstances. He had suffered a very serious TBI, and was out here living with him mom(whom I know from the Hospital) for four months going to outpatient rehab(He lives in Georgia...accident happened at work in California, and she brought him out to Colorado). Over those four months, I helped him, and he helped me in ways I couldn't imagine. We were completely inseparable. Eventually, he got his clearance to go back to work, and of course, that meant leaving out of state. It was difficult at first, but we figured out how to make the 'long distance' thing work until we were living together.

    The Type 1 thing never bothered him. He'd ask random questions here and there, we'd discuss it. But I'll tell you what really sold me on him, and I already knew this to begin with. One night we were both laying in bed, and like usual, I had moved my insulin pump off to the side. He suddenly rolled over, and started looking for my tubing. He found it, followed it until he found where my insulin pump was, and then promptly grabbed it holding it across his chest. I, of course, looked at him and asked, "What are you doing." His reply was, "Nothing," as to which I replied, "Love, it's attached to me." He smiled, and simply said, "Yup, and now I'm attached to you."

    I never thought love like that could exist. He certainly changed everything I had ever previously felt about relationships. If it's right, the Type 1 thing is really of very little concern. It's something to talk about, but shouldn't matter in the long haul.
     

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