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To Judy (Alli's mom) and all other teen parents

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by 2type1s, Nov 6, 2009.

  1. Sarah Maddie's Mom

    Sarah Maddie's Mom Approved members

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    I think this thread is one of the most important we've had of late. So often folks don't want to admit when things go all wrong and the real kid with strong emotions push back.

    We went through a phase last winter when Maddie's best friend was pulled out of school to be home schooled, and I was involved in a serious car accident and she just stopped bolusing for lunch, stopped testing, made up numbers etc. Her A1c came back at 8.6 ... it was just an awful time. BUT, and I think this is really important to note, after much talking and some crying and some new rules and checks put into place she got back on the wagon and has been doing a really good job since. In other words, yes, these times happen but they don't have to be the start of a downward spiral. Our kids can and will screw up but they can also recover and we all know that our kids are some of the most resilient people on earth.;)
     
  2. dqmomof3

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    Many of you may remember my impassioned posts from last January...we went to the Keys, camping, for Jayden's one year D anniversary, and she pretty much lied to me about all her diabetes care that week. It was a terrible, terrible week, but it caused us to make some new rules, and we had some good conversation about it.

    I, too, think this is the most important thread we've had in a while. This is a lousy disease, and our children, and ourselves, are real human beings who have real struggles. I hate it for all of us - for us, for them, for the siblings, and the caregivers, and, well, everyone who has to deal with t1D.

    Thanks for posting this thread, and letting us all know we're not in this alone!
     
  3. 2type1s

    2type1s Approved members

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    First of all...thanks to all of you for the support...Rea...yes, it did make me feel better! Judy, I too have been much more tender. I DON'T know what it feels like to have D, but I do struggle with hypoglycemia at times and when I'm 60...I feel TERRIBLE. I have to eat immediately and feel like I'm going to pass out...at 60!

    Teen years are hard, and the ***** of it is, my teenage girls are GREAT. They are A students, incredible musicians, awesome babysitters, and very kind and generous ladies. They are smart and funny and always seem to have it together with school and extra curricular activites. I NEVER help them with homework, remind them to study, tell them to practice, or help with school projects. That's why it just blows me away when Morgan gets complacent about her care. For me, I have Bailey who is half-way through her junior year and we're looking at colleges, taking the ACT and SAT...it's smacking me in the face that she is leaving after next year....Morgan's only 15 months younger. It is KILLING me to think about her leaving me when I still have to remind her and check on her and clean up D mistakes behind her.

    However, I really think several of you have hit the nail on the head. 10 years is a long freaking time to live with the disease. Yes...I have done a lot of her care...I live it everyday, I just don't live WITH it. That is going to be my new mantra. I am making a concerted effort to ask about Morgan's day before I ask about her numbers, I'm reminding her to check, I'm not judging off numbers, and I'm being very even keel. I'm not going to rock the boat. Sometimes I come on here and do a cyber scream because I'm so tired of dealing with it....why shouldn't she? I'm the safest person to say hateful, horrible things to, because I will love her and forgive her no matter what. I hope this will get me good and ready for Zoe....

    Again...I really cannot thank you all enough for you words of support and encouragement. Though I have friends who understand how serious D is, no one knows unless they live it every day.
     
  4. Judy&Alli

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    Aww Sharon this breaks my heart!!!! If we could only switch bodies with our d children. KWIM? They could see that the nagging that we do is simply because we love them so deeply!!!! D just tears at our families and it is horrible!!! You are a great mom!!!!!!! Hang in there!!!!
     
  5. Daniel's Mom 1993

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    That is so true only those of with kids with d really understand what is like to see your kid puke after taking 8+ units of insulin then try figure out how the He!!to keep from him crashing..this is my life tonight.
     
  6. 2type1s

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    Oh Erica!!! I'm so sorry!!! Keep us posted...virus? Food? That's so scary! I hate it when you can't take the insulin out!
     
  7. shekov

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    Just wanted to add that your husband did a great job of stepping in and saying that the family had D. This seems like a great way to tackle the problem, together.:)
     
  8. ScottB

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    Here's a thought for all of you teen parents to consider, that is of course if you don't mind me adding my $.02.

    Sharon, I honestly do feel your pain and know exactly what you're describing but my suggestion to you is that what ever you do, don't let your anger over what your daughter said eat you up and kick you down. I know you're going to think I'm nuts but believe it or not the heated and emotional talk you had with your daughter may have actually been a good thing and whether it truly blossoms into a good thing depends on how you use it to both yours and your childs advantage. Yes I know what was said hurts, you don't have to convince me of that.

    The reason I say it may have been a good thing is because you were given a very rare glimpse of what you daughter was truly feeling, albeit exaggerated by anger which is why you shouldn't beat yourself up over it so bad but none the less you know how she feels while at the same time she now knows how you feel as well. Your daughter opened up a line of communication with you that teens very seldom share with their parents and for many of those that actually do, it's usually too late because those feelings have been suppressed and hidden from view for so long. You on the other hand could very well have heard what you NEEDED to hear and still have plenty of time needed to get your daughter thinking positive about herself and her future again. I know you heard things you didn't want to hear but if you can put those feelings aside and use this line of communication to your advantage then you will eventually be grateful that you did hear it. Good luck.
     
  9. Jessies_Mom

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    Been there....done that....more than a few times!

    Thanks for sharing and reminding me I'm not alone in the whirlwind of diabetes, hormones and teenage drama. :)
     
  10. mollgirl

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    I know how you feel and Jason has voiced that same thought, "You don't have to live with D" Oh but we do. I am glad you posted this as it makes me realize teens, hormones, and d is hard for others also. Your husband handled it well also.
     
  11. emm142

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    Much as you live with diabetes, you will never have to try to decide the best dose to treat a high whilst your mouth and eyes feel sticky and your brain feels like it's moving at one tenth of it's normal pace, or fight the urge to overtreat a low when you feel like you are one second from passing out.

    I am in NO WAY belittling what the parents have to go through. If I were to choose whether to have diabetes myself or to care for a child with it, I know I would choose to have it myself in a heartbeat. All I am saying is, if your child or teenager is upset or angry about having to deal with the yucky feelings of being high or low and the toll it takes on their body every single day, you would IMHO probably do better to let them know that their feelings are entirely valid and that D SUCKS than to tell them that you have to cope with it as well. From experience, that might only have the effect of making them feel guilty on top of being angry and upset.
     
  12. JJsMomma

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    I would be proud to have you as my mom..... I love that statement you made.... I'm the safest person to say hateful, horrible things to, because I will love her and forgive her no matter what....it is so true and I am so glad that you recognize that. You rock!
     
  13. 2type1s

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    I agree completely, Emma!!!! I tell her that it sucks and it's not fair, and I hate it for her. I WOULD change places in a heart beat, no questions asked, because as parents, there is nothing more unbearable that seeing our children in pain, and not being able to fix something.
    However, just because you hate something, doesn't mean you can ignore it and be irresponsible. I think it's also a little different for those of us who have had children diagnosed as young children, for whom we did 100% of care. When you're diagnosed at 14-16, you are almost an adult and have much better understanding of what's going on. When you're 4, you are completely dependent on parents. Then as you get older, that care has to be given way to you. It's a very hard thing to do!!! Also, for my older D daughter, she has been living this for 10 years...not 2-3. That's a long time, and very overdue for a blow-up. But as selfish as this sounds, and it's horrible to say this, I would like to get some gratitude from my family for all I do to keep my girls healthy and safe, instead the night this all blew up....I got blame and anger thrown at me. My anger was very short lived, my sadness is gone, but my worry will never go away. I'm sorry if that make some of you teens feel bad to know that your parents worry, but you will understand when you're parents! I have a friend who is in her 40's, type 1, a CDE, who's mother is also type1 and they both STILL worry about each other!
     

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