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Teens and Sleepovers..

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by VinceysMom, Jun 24, 2011.

  1. VinceysMom

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    Vince has made a lot of new friends in the past few months. Now come sleepovers with these new kids and parents we don't know. His friends in school and their parents know he has diabetes and sleepovers are a bit easier with them:p, it?s these new friends, from another school, who do not know. The boys find out eventually when they see him test, etc., but the parents do not know.

    Vince wanted to sleep at one of the boy?s homes the other night, and we said ?no?; D or not, we would not let the our kids sleep over some else's home without us knowing the child or seeing and talking with the parents first. We suggest always that the kids come to our home first so we can get to know them, and then meet the parents when they drop off/pick up.

    I guess I?m trying to figure out the best way to go about telling parents whose home he is going to about his diabetes? I don?t want to make it out to be so ?extreme? that they decide they don?t want him over (but clearly that is their choice and I would hope they don?t make that choice), I just don?t know how to approach the parents. I do want an adult to know, in the event he needs "help" ... So, my question is: How do you begin such a conversation? What do YOU do? Again, Vince is 15, has had D for 1.5 yrs, he texts us when he has any issue or needs help with something, he is MDI, feels his lows, etc.

    Every time he says he wants to sleep at someones house, I get this horrible pit in my stomache. :(

    Sorry this is so long, I keep thinking about this way too much and thought you all would have some good tips for us.

    Thank you, all!
     
  2. NatBMomto4

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    So far, we haven't had to deal with a sleepover at someone's house where we don't know the parents really well. Andrew did get invited once to a boy's home I barely knew, but I suggested he have him here instead, and that is what they did. He has, however gone to friends' homes for a few hours during the day where we didn't know the parents (we did know the friend, though). I just spoke to the mom on the phone and let her know that Andrew has Type 1 Diabetes, so you will probably notice him testing his blood sugar and giving himself injections if he eats. I let her know that he can eat anything - there are no restrictions, he just has to take insulin for his food. I also let her know that he texts me anytime he wants regarding D, and that if he needed me, I would be there within 10 minutes. I assured her that Andrew really manages his D well and I just wanted her to be aware, but that there really wasn't anything she would need to do. I made sure she had all my phone numbers, though, just in case. Everything went very well - the mom even told me she was very impressed with how well he takes care of himself and giving himself injections like that!

    Good luck!
     
  3. DsMom

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    Don't know how much advice I can give as my son is only 7 and has not yet gone on sleepovers. It's something that makes my stomach ache as well!! His sister and brother were not allowed sleepovers until they were 8...so I have another year of reprieve until I have to deal with this!:cwds:

    As far as telling people about Daniel having D, for some reason, it usually comes about naturally in conversation. People will comment on his supply bag that I carry, or talk about eating or parties or something, and it often just comes up. If it doesn't, and I need a parent to know, I just tell them. If your son had asthma or food allergies, would you just tell them straight out? I would emphasize that your son manages his own care and simply contacts you with any questions. Your tone and confidence will probably help the parent to accept it for what it is...a condition your son has but one he knows how to manage. Do you do overnight checks at home...or does your son handle that as well?? That would be my main concern with sleepovers, and one that I have no idea how to handle when my son gets old enough.:eek:

    Good luck.
     
  4. kgerrick

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    You're doing the right things! I would feel the same way. As far as telling the parents, I agree with everyone, emphasis that he manages it himself and that you just wanted her to be aware. But I wouldn't call specifically to tell them, just let it be part of the intial conversation with them, so it doesn't come out like it is a big deal. Good Luck!
     
  5. VinceysMom

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    Thank you so much for your replies! I really do appreciate them!
     
  6. Flutterby

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    at 15 he's doing pretty much everything on his own.. at that age, I'd be likely to let the parents know. I'd tell them about lows, what they look like, highs, stress that he can eat whatever anyone else does (so they don't make him out to be a freak or something if they get pizza or other typical sleep over foods) as long as he's taking insulin.. make sure your son knows that he must be responsible and at least text some numbers to you.. I'd also have HIM carry glucagon and show the parents how to use it, and stress that they can NOT hurt him or over dose him on it.. and to call you or 911 if something is wrong.
     
  7. emm142

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    Since dx at 14 I've gone on sleepovers without giving parents instructions. They mostly know I have D but don't know anything about it. They just feed me as normal, and I do everything else.. I go other places by myself, without someone who knows how to care for my D, and I have stayed in hotel rooms by myself, with nobody to inject glucagon in an emergency... If something were to happen to me, they would call an ambulance. Usually I run my BGs a little higher if I'm sleeping away from home.

    This is just how I do it. Personally, I've already had friends whose parents don't want me sleeping over in case I have some kind of medical emergency, and that kind of bothered me. I choose to keep other people out of my D management. Some may prefer otherwise.
     
  8. mom24grlz

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    Ashleigh sleeps over at friends' houses it seems like all the time, usually a couple times a month, more during the summer since we have no school.

    If it's the first time spending the night there. I first make sure Ashleigh tells the friend's parents that she has Type 1 diabetes. I want to make sure they are even ok with her spending the night there. She does have 1 friend who's mother is afraid to have Ashleigh spend the night. It upsets Ashleigh, but i can't force this woman to let Ashleigh sleep at her house.

    If the parent(s) is/are ok with it, when I drop Ashleigh off i go over some basic things. Basically how to recognize a low (most of the time Ashleigh recognizes them) and where she keeps her glucagon kit. I give them an instruction sheet on how to use it (thank goodness we've never had to!) and of course to call 911 if she loses consciousness/has a seizure.

    Ashleigh keeps my cell phone with her, that way if she needs me she doesn't have to use their phone. She calls me if she needs help figuring out carbs or to report BS numbers. I call her during the middle of the night to make sure she does a night BS check.

    there was one time that I called and called, even called her friend's cell phone and she didn't answer. 30 minutes later she calls me and tells me that she left the phone in her bag upstairs, and they were downstairs watching a movie! I made it clear to her that she is to keep the cell phone on her at all times, it makes me a nervous wreck when she doesn't answer, and I will drive over to her friend's house in the middle of the night.

    Chris mom 12 year old T1 daughter. DX on 3/23/10 pumping animas ping.
     
  9. bnmom

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    Bobby's 14 and at a sleepover tonight - he's averaging 1-2 a week so far this summer.

    I keep it very short and simple with parents - I don't want to freak anyone out and have Bobby excluded.

    So I just say 'hey, he has type 1 diabetes...nothing you have to do, he can manage his stuff...just FYI if there is any problem call me ANYTIME...or call 911 first if it's a scary problem'

    Then on the Bobby side of things...he has to text me usually about 11pm, then again about 3am (times depend on everything else going on). He just sets his cell phone alarm as needed - so far, so good...but I think a lot of his compliance has been based on me telling him that if I do not hear from him and I cannot get ahold of him - I will be banging on his buddy's door at 3am. :p
     
  10. Christopher

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    "Hi, thanks very much for having Vince spend the night. Just so you know, he has Type 1 diabetes but he manages it very well. He may need to call me for some help figuring stuff out during the night but other than that he should be fine. You don't need to do anything special, and if you want to call us here is our number. Thanks again!"
     
  11. nanhsot

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    Hmmm, that's tricky. I do know the parents of kids where H spends the night, but he has gone on some overnight things with friends where I did not know the adults in charge...so the kid he was with knew but they stayed with the grandparents in one case, and a camp counselor type person another time (they were helping him out on a youth group thing).

    I think there are sort of layers to this question for me personally, because I would not really feel comfortable allowing EITHER of my kids to sleep at a home of a person I had not met. Just too many weirdos and opportunities and such for my comfort level. So I would want to meet the kid, definitely, and I would need to drop off at the home and at least meet the parent, look them in the eye, peek into their home, etc. Only then would I be able to make a determination if I felt OK with either of my kids sleeping at their home.

    I would not feel comfortable if NO ONE knew he was diabetic, so for me either one of the kids or the parents/adults would need to know. I'll say that as the adult in my own home, I'd personally be ticked off if a child stayed in my home and had a medical condition and I wasn't informed. I guess I'm weighing in from the perspective of the parent and saying that I would want to at least know that they have a medical condition (and not ANY condition, don't need to know they have warts or anything, I mean a condition that could have me needing to intervene) but that they will take care of it. My daughter has a friend who has seizures, for example, and I think it's imperative that I know..when she sleeps over I make sure that she is never in the pool alone, and I have trained my daughter to come get me if she ever acts oddly or makes funny noises in the night, that sort of thing. I think it's unfair to the family to not inform them, at least in my opinion it is.

    From the perspective of the mom of a diabetic, I trust my kid to take care of business, but I do ask him to text me numbers while he's away like that.

    Knowing your son's history, I would want him to be a bit more independent with his carb counting and his shots (and maybe he is now, you said you were working on it recently, right?) before I let him go with folks who weren't really informed about things.

    All that said, I'd be fine with letting him sleep over but I would drop a brief note to the mom "fyi, my son has to take shots every time he eats but it's not biggie and he'll do it all on his own." Then I'd give just a brief "if he is ever acting oddly I need to know about that right away." Truth is that you are not going to have any adults in this situation trained in emergency procedure so they just need to be alerted in a general way.

    All that would become untrue if he wasn't managing things well and/or had wonky numbers recently.

    All that said, truth be told I'm not fond when he sleeps away either. There is one friend who I feel very comfortable with as the parents are very in tune with his needs. Though there's a funny story there too...he came home from their house and told me that they are so stinking healthy he couldn't find ANY junk at all, and had to eat straight sugar from the bag, lol, so I bought a tube of glucose tablets to give to her for next time...problem is her son LOVES them so we'll have to hide them from him.
     

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