- advertisement -

Teen lying about blood sugars and food?

Discussion in 'Parents of Teens' started by corrinebean, Mar 24, 2014.

Tags:
  1. gandk

    gandk New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2014
    Messages:
    1
    I am going through the same thing right now. However, my son is a pre- teen. I am about to lose my mind. I wish u the best. God Bless
     
  2. wilf

    wilf Approved members

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2007
    Messages:
    9,652
    Sorry to hear it. With a pre-teen you should have some more tools available to you.

    Don't be afraid to punish as necessary to obtain a mandatory minimum of D management.
     
  3. sszyszkiewicz

    sszyszkiewicz Approved members

    Joined:
    Dec 24, 2013
    Messages:
    842
    I have only been at this about 5 months, but my son is 12, so he is pretty close to 13.

    Find a routine. make it stick. Kids, even teens, go for structure. Pick a time where you will always be home, and he will always be home. Get the meter. Do the fingerstick. write it down (I cannot imagine not logging yet). Treat as necessary. Love by example.

    I have made it a point to be home each night by 9 pm no matter what. DS takes his shower. its then time for a fingerstick and lantus. We try and make it so he get a "free" snack (his number less than 100) meaning no additional shot (we can get away with that since he is still honeymooning). I do the lantus shot each night. he tells me on a scale of 1 to 10 if I did a good job....with the rule being the max score really is a 9, because we get an automatic 1 point deduction because we have to do this at all. Yes he does all of his other shots, and he can do this one too, but the point is he knows I'm there. After the shot, he picks out his snack, and thats that. It is the same each night. He knows he is not alone.
     
  4. wilf

    wilf Approved members

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2007
    Messages:
    9,652
    Awesome way to approach this. Well done, Dad. :)
     
  5. zevulon

    zevulon New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2014
    Messages:
    3
    Don't Give Up!

    CB--Hope things are going better.

    Sometimes the smartest, most resourceful T1 teens provide the most challenge to people who love them. I suspect your scenario is more common than not and I would love to read updates from you in the future as to what is and what is not working. I wouldn't be surprised if your experience and insights would end up helping many others.

    All cases, all families and all teens are different--I've heard about some great management scenarios for one family that wouldn't work or wouldn't be possible for another. But one common theme that struck me in your post was the comment about a lecture from the doctor. We've had nurses and doctors that could talk to a teen, and nurses and doctors that couldn't. It has made a big difference to us when the nurse/doctor in the room has a knack for talking to our teen. Being authoritative without being patronizing is a hard balance to strike in talking to a teen--particularly when you're talking about their body, their health, their future ... all those things that a smart, spirited teen might easily translate as "blah, blah, blah...none of your business." Too often, I think, a "lecture" is the last resort of a doctor/nurse who was never able to establish a good relationship with the teen in the first place. That doesn't mean that she/he isn't a good doctor/nurse, it just means that he/she doesn't have the magic of talking with teens.

    I know the doctor/nurse is only aspect--and not the most important part--of your teen's health. But it can tip the balance and help a parent/guardian get through tough times. I'm always in awe of the nurses/doctors that have a knack for winning trust and respect from teens. Because those who do can make a huge difference in the lives of the teens and in the lives of their parents/guardians.
     
  6. Jordansmom

    Jordansmom Approved members

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2008
    Messages:
    2,172
    This is all very good insight. I agree that a teen, especially a struggling teen, needs a special kind of endo if at all possible. A bad endo does more harm than good. And sometimes teens just shut down on their endo team and a shake up is necessary to open up the communication again.

    I shopped around for an endo I felt my DD could connect with as she entered the teen years. It made all the difference in the world during that treacherous time. I did my research, asked everyone I knew in the diabetes community, and gave a lot of weight to suggestions from a CDE in the pediatric clinic I really trusted. Nurses know the doctors and how they relate to their patients. If you ask discreetly, I've found them to be the best source for advice on the doctors they know.
     
  7. Mish

    Mish Approved members

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2009
    Messages:
    1,393
    While I agree in theory with the last two posters, in this particular situation I don't think the problem is on the teen's end. It's on the parent's end. It would be like saying that your 13 year old needed better driving instructors because he wasn't being responsible driving the car. That all it would take is an instructor who really understood kids. In this case, the young teen has been given complete diabetes care, with no oversight. The child is simply acting completely age appropriate. He simply isn't capable of being completely on his own. Even the best endo in the world isn't going to fix this. The parent can't even be bothered to check the child's meter. She's not going to go out of her way to research the best endo for her teenager. She wants the endo to come down on the kid, not her. That's just not going to happen.
     
  8. wilf

    wilf Approved members

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2007
    Messages:
    9,652
    That's a good analogy.. :cwds:
     
  9. Sarah Maddie's Mom

    Sarah Maddie's Mom Approved members

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2007
    Messages:
    12,521
    The Joe S video addresses the, "Magical Power" of the endo/cde lecture. (rollie) His conclusion? It's a family disease and only the family can devise and employ the mechanism that gets a teen to do what needs to be done. No outsider can "inspire" a 16 year old to do their D stuff.
     
  10. zevulon

    zevulon New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2014
    Messages:
    3
    Checking back in with the top of the thread

    Agree. I thought the Joe S. video was great as well--thanks for reminding about that resource.

    CB--I hope you're finding the advice out there to help you solve this problem. Everyone has different circumstances, different incomes, different kids, different medical staff...well, 1,001 different variations for the D1/teen combination.

    Wishing you the best and hope you are finding answers for your teen and for yourself. Please do share anything you've come up with that works. There will be others who will be in your shoes, and other teens in the same situation.
     
  11. Lysa916

    Lysa916 Approved members

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2014
    Messages:
    14
    I too have a 13 year old. We are less than 3 weeks into this new life style. She is doing an amazing job thus far od checking her blood and choosing her food but she still knows that I expect her to text me from school to let me know her number. I ask, I look and I help cook and portion out the food.
    Maybe I am wrong but I do not believe that T1D absolves children from normal resoncibility and accountability.
    The T1d is new to us but parenting is not. I have been a mother for 24 years!
    Reporting the meter reading is simply another chore my child needs to do.
    And I trust her, but if she says her room is clean, I go look. Same as her meter readings.
     
  12. DavidN

    DavidN Approved members

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2012
    Messages:
    744
    Is there such a thing as a "Scared Straight" for T1D teens?

    A parent has tried education, family and individual counseling, discipline, pleading, whatever, and nothing has worked. A parent is scared and at their wits end. BG control is dangerously out of control and the teen appears to not care.

    Just wondering if a Scared Straight type program exists. The teen could visit and talk with adults with severe complications. This would clearly be a last resort, just wondering if such a thing exists.
     
  13. misscaitp

    misscaitp Approved members

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2007
    Messages:
    1,121
    I don't know if there is, you could possibly set up an arrangement with a inpatient hospital unit that specializes in diabetes, but I also don't think it would be very effective for a lot of D teens. From my personal experience of having blood sugars out of control, the last thing that would have help was seeing an adult with severe complications. Why? For one, teenagers think they are invincible; even if the 25 or 30 year old has lost their vision or foot, the first thing you will hear is, "That's not me. It won't happen to me." This experience might actually lead to the teen further ignoring diabetes care, or further distancing themselves from long-term complications. Second, it doesn't solve the root of the issue. At least for me, when my blood sugars were out of control it was because their were mental, emotional, and social issues in relation to having diabetes. If the teen has BGs out of range due to feeling alone in diabetes, or there being depression involved, a Scared Straight program like this might cause them to shutdown even further. And if they are depressed, they might think that diabetes is going to kill me anyway, it doesn't matter what I do.

    Often times a teen does know the complications of diabetes and knows what they look like. But in the end it is going to come down to how well do you know your child, and will they react positively towards a "Scared Straight" or negatively. I would use every resource before I go to "Scared Straight" tactics, even if it means finding a healthy young adult T1 to be a mentor that meets weekly with the teen.

    There are residential programs that specialize in chronic illnesses, such as Cumberland Hospital for Children and Adolescents in Virginia. This would be the best course if a family can afford it and treatments on an outpatient basis haven't been effective.

    One of the helpful things my clinic does is if you are out of control they have a Diabetes Makeover Team, which you are monitored by nutritionist, psychologist, the CDE, and endo. It is basically an intensive outpatient treatment for diabetes. And you might see them every 2 weeks to every month, until you get back on track or out of the danger zone.
     
  14. Ali

    Ali Approved members

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2006
    Messages:
    2,216

    This is a very well written and honest response. Thank you, Misscaitp, for being so open. I agree the Scared Straight stuff is not a good long term solution. Your kid may have a very short term typical teenage reaction going on or there may be something more in which the T1 management is just a symptom. I have had T1 since my teen years and even now I am not always great at keeping track, not as off as your kiddo but I can not be on all the time. Address it but try and get some procedures in place to make sure your kiddo is safe from both high and low numbers, Work on finding a compromise, so maybe they have a 9 plus a1c for a year but no extreme lows or extended super highs, this would be an OK compromise for a year while your kiddo is a teen. I would contact my Endo group and be super honest about what is going on and see what they suggest. Please just bear in mind that you are trying to keep your kid from having super low numbers, or months of super high numbers. Ask your team what those levels are....
    So sorry
    Ali
     
  15. DavidN

    DavidN Approved members

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2012
    Messages:
    744
    Thanks for the thoughtful response. My son is 11 and thankfully things are going ok. I read the thread and was just sort of thinking out loud. Hearing from a teen makes it clear that such a program is rife with problems. That being said, I am definitely not looking forward to the teen years.
     
  16. Mgirod

    Mgirod Approved members

    Joined:
    Apr 29, 2014
    Messages:
    41
    If you wanted an opinion from the view of a teenager, i understand that having diabetes as a teen sucks more than anything i can come up with at the moment. But as my parents have stressed it isnt for nothing. My parents have stressed to me that i could end up back in the hospital if i don't take care of myself the way i am supposed to! There are a set of punishments is I don't do what I am supposed to do. i loss time with friends first, then it is extracurriculars then my parents monitor what I am doing 24-7. I think that you should make it very clear that if your son doesn't take care of himself he could lose limbs! Having diabetes isn't a joke and he needs to understand that. GOOD LUCk and i hope that he understands the severity of his situation.
     
  17. misscaitp

    misscaitp Approved members

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2007
    Messages:
    1,121
    I agree with you that there should be boundaries, but I don't think that it is that simple.

    I think most teenagers are well aware of the risk of not taking care of their diabetes, it doesn't necessarily prevent the behavior. Ex. the majority of people are aware of the risk of texting and driving, yet people die everyday because they couldn't wait to take a call or send a text. People are aware that sun tanning is bad for you and increases your risk for skin cancer, but they still do so every summer. There is a difference between knowing/understanding the risk and actually changing your behavior.

    I knew all the complications when I left the hospital after diagnosis at age 12, but that didn't stop the diabetes burnout 3-4 years down the road. It is normal to get tired of having diabetes, I want to say it is to be expected that a person with diabetes will eventually have a period of diabetes burnout whether it be for a week or a year. For many it is a part of having a lifelong condition that you just want a break from, even if it means that you are essentially ignoring the tools that keep you alive.

    I'm not claiming that boundaries and punishments are bad, but if all the boundaries and punishments in the world aren't working I doubt that seeing someone without a foot or a leg is going to be beneficial because there is another component in the mix that isn't being addressed as intensely as it needs to be (i.e. Depression, eating disorders, social isolation, feeling that no one understands what it is like). I doubt constantly reinforcing the possible complications will stick because I think everyone who has been a teenager knows that selective hearing is very real and if I don't want to hear about the guy down the street that lost his foot, I'm not going to.

    People lie for six reasons:
    • Fear of Harm
    • Fear of Conflict
    • Fear of Punishment
    • Fear of Rejection
    • Fear of Loss
    • Altruistic Motives

    So a D teen will lie for:
    • Fear of Conflict: What teenager really wants to argue with their parents over a BG? It is not ideal for either party. Even though it seems like teenagers likes to push their parent's buttons, teens don't like arguing, especially if they know/believe that their side will not be heard. And why ask for help if everything wrong that they did will be brought up?
    • Fear of Punishment: Why would I tell my parent my blood sugar is high if I'm going to get 24 questions and maybe be accused of something?
    • Fear of Rejection: Parents at time have a look that shows judgment towards a number, if you don't want to see the disappointed look on your mom's face when she hears your number, you would make a BG up to avoid that. If a D teen is afraid of a parents judgment about a number, then why would they even risk the possibility of their being a moment for them to be judged.
    • Fear of Loss: Why would I tell you that I haven't tested in 2 days if I know you might ground me or watch my every move?

    From my own experience and tricks, even if you think your teen is on track and managing, a random meter check once a week couldn't hurt. Don't look through the entire meter history, but check to see how many times they tested that particular day.

    Being a teen with diabetes isn't easy and I imagine that being a parent to a teen with diabetes can be very stressful because parents tend to worry regardless if their teen is on or off track, diabetes or not.

    Instead of asking why would they lie about their blood sugar, it might be better to ask why would they not. It helps rationalize things from the teens point of view. Lying isn't okay, but there are reasons why people do.
     
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2014
  18. caspi

    caspi Approved members

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2006
    Messages:
    5,134
    As the parent of a 15 year old, I really appreciate your candor Caitlin. Thank you for sharing.
     

Share This Page

- advertisement -

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice