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Teen daughter and not being consistant.

Discussion in 'Teens' started by Artgirl, May 20, 2016.

  1. Artgirl

    Artgirl Approved members

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    Hi all,

    So its been 7 months since my daughters diagnosis and she has done a great job in managing it with an AC1 of 5.7 on her last check up weeks ago. Lately, she is slipping up on her care and she argues with me and tells me that its not my business to know her numbers etc. I checked her log book and she has gone a full day without checking numbers recently and a few days only taking her insulin twice. I don't want to be in her face about it but she needs to know how important this is to keep on top of it. I am going to keep reminding her about it but I will have to call up her team and tell them what is going on if she refuses to listen. Parents of teens with type1 have you had to deal with this? I don't want to make this a battle but I need to trust her that at 17 she is doing a good job and that if she goes away next year for school that I can be rest assured that this will not be an issue. She is on MDI, no interest in the pump. Once she turns 18 how much say will I have?
     
  2. Sarah Maddie's Mom

    Sarah Maddie's Mom Approved members

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    My only Type I parenting advice comes from Joe S. It is to treat Type 1 like any other required life task. If you kid announced that they only wanted to go to school on Mondays and Thursdays you would parent your way through that. If they drove drunk or drove friends before it was legal you'd parent your way through that. Whether it's rewards or punishments or however you parent thats what you do. Set SPECIFIC expectations, i.e. must test 4x a day and log #s or must share pump data or CGM data every Thursday afternoon or whatever, but you set specific minimal expectations and make clear that if they are or are not met this XYZ will happen.

    My husband and I liked his talk so much we made a film of it http://www.childrenwithdiabetes.com/video/JoeS1.htm
     
  3. quiltinmom

    quiltinmom Approved members

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    The way I see it, you will have just as much say when she's 18 as long as she is under your roof. There's nothing magical about turning 18 that suddenly makes them above household rules. :). They still obey as long as they are being supported by parents.

    The best course of action depends on her personality, your relationship, and the reasons why she's not doing her diabetes care.

    My guess is she's either tired of it, feels like it isn't that big a deal, or she's pushing back on you or just diabetes in general, angry she has to deal with it. She may be pushing you away (telling you to quit asking about bg's) because she doesn't want you to be disappointed in her.

    Id try to pick a good time and have an open conversation with her about what's going on...that means she can be completely honest and you promise not to get mad or punish her. Together you can come up with a plan to keep her safe, because you love her and want the best for her. Then she can tell you what she wants/needs from you, as she is old enough to have that kind of autonomy (assuming she sticks to her end).

    Probably you shouldn't take it personally. It's probably not about you, per se. But until you know the whys, you can't truly solve the problem.

    Good luck! Keep us updated. :)
     
    Last edited: May 20, 2016
  4. MomofSweetOne

    MomofSweetOne Approved members

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    It sounds like burn-out. I'd suggest instead of reminding her when she's with you, that you take on testing to give her a break. My teen is burned out and appreciates me doing things; she expresses that she'll be doing it completely all too soon and appreciates whatever breaks she can have now. If you carry more of it when you're together, she might be more willing to do it when away from you.

    Dealing with Diabetes Burn-out by Ginger Vieiria is a good book for diabetes libraries.
     
  5. rgcainmd

    rgcainmd Approved members

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    Agree with all of the above excellent advice. I would like to add that requiring a teen to continue keeping written logs 7 months into the D-game seems like part of a recipe for D-burnout to me. Doesn't your daughter's meter have a memory function? Additionally, logging insulin doses doesn't necessarily mean that those doses were actually taken. And vice versa; your daughter may actually be bolusing more often than her log indicates.

    Also, remember that your daughter's "good" A1c might not be a true reflection of "good" D management because it can be "artificially" skewed to a desirable lower number by frequent low BGs. I'm not saying this is true in your daughter's case; just something to keep under consideration.
     
  6. Mgirod

    Mgirod Approved members

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    Hi! I've been type 1 for two years now and I am almost 17 (turning in August). I recently went through the period of "screw it I don't want to do this and I'll be fine" IT SUCKS to have type 1 and I am sure you and your daughter understand this fact (as does everybody else on this forum). I know it can be difficult to talk with parents about all the emotions one faces with a new diagnoses (I found it difficult to talk to my parents anyways) but once I got on here and started talking to kids my age about what was going on (especially newly diagnosed kids) It was easier to deal with. If your daughter wants to talk to me since I'm around her age and was recently my email is littlegirod@comcast.net or she can PM me on here! Just tell her it gets better and easier but she has to keep it under control or there will be even more problems she will have to face. Keep her head up but don't baby her either (my mom did this which I understand now because it is difficult as a parent to deal with but it got frustrating) HOWEVER, I don't recomend saying "I understand what you're going through" unless you have type 1 yourself cause I have found that to be the most irritating thing to deal with from a parent. Anyways! have your daughter email me (again it's littlegirod@comcast.net) if she wants to talk about anything that's going on with her in general it doesn't have to be diabetes related. IT'LL GET BETTER I PROMISE JUST STICK WITH IT
     
  7. Artgirl

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    Thank you Megan for the reply but my daughter is a very private person and if she even knew i was on here discussing her diabetes she would be angry with me.I appreciate your input here..its been helpful.
     

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