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Tears...a vent

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by DsMom, Jul 25, 2011.

  1. DsMom

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    Have read quite a few threads about how to deal with sadness/why me in CWD lately. Have even responded to a couple. Have gone through it with my son. But, last night was the worst. I think I may have inadvertently triggered it. I sometimes watch the dLife show on Sunday nights. If my son is in the room, I try to point out the hopeful stories of adults with D doing great things. Last night, it was a pro hockey player from Dallas. He watched the story, but then started to get upset and into his "I hate diabetes" mode. I tried to point out how much this guy has achieved and how his diabetes does not stop him, blah, blah, blah... but nothing impressed him.

    At bedtime, he started to cry...saying he doesn't want D anymore and why does he have it...I'm sure most of us know the drill. But, instead of quickly recovering as he usually does, he cried for almost an hour. I laid with him in bed and held him and tried to do my best...but nothing would console him.:(

    I wonder if seeing that hockey player, who has had D since he was 5, just made my son realize that he too would have it as an adult and just reminded him that D wasn't going away instead of inspiring him like I hoped it would. I feel like I should point out these role models to my son...but maybe it just reminds him that D is something that these people couldn't shake...and that he won't either. My attempts at inspiring him just backfired.

    So, when he finally felt a bit better...every time he said something about D that he hated, I'd come up with a happy thought or memory for him (swimming, stop signs [he loves street signs], strawberries, SpongeBob, his cousins, the beach...) until he finally laughed...I went into my bathroom and cried two tears for every one that he shed. Yesterday, I was giving advice to someone here on how to deal with this...today, I'm the one with the broken heart.

    Of course, as I write this, Daniel is laughing and having fun with his brother...all sadness forgotten. But there is another crack in my heart from having to hold my son again as he cried and not be able to make it all better for him.:(:mad: Damn this disease.:mad:
     
  2. mom2Hanna

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    I am so sorry, there are good days and bad. My daughter was dxd 2008 also and diabetes has become just a routine part of life. If you can call somehing that lives to throw curveballs, routine. That "omg she's going to be doing this forever" moments are fewer so when they hit, it's a harder slap somehow.
     
  3. kgerrick

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    I feel your pain. We all do. I had my moment on Saturday as I watched a 10 minute video from the JDRF "You can't catch Diabetes from your friend" and I was fine as the video started and then watching these kids talk made me start crying. I didn't even feel sad when I put the vidoe on. It just hit me and then out came the tears!:confused::( Just like that! It took a while to pull myself together. Thank goodness my daughter was not there at the time, because she is doing pretty good right now. I think she is still in the beginning phase of this new reality for her. I'm sorry it hit you too! It really does suck! Feel free to PM me when you need to vent! Hope your day gets better for you!

    Kristen
     
  4. DsMom

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    I'm wondering if, because he was dx at 4, he is just starting to get a more mature understanding of what it means to have D and that people live their whole lives with it? D is usually routine for us as well...just had a great vacation and D wasn't an issue at all...but maybe he's just starting to understand more?


    Just noticed your daughter was dx on my son's birthday.:( Hope you're doing okay...things are still so new for you. I hesitated to post this thread...just because I don't want people new to D to get discouraged to see that there is still pain years later. I hope you'll know that this is rare for him to be upset...which is why it was so hard. Things do get so much better as time goes by...I think he's just growing up and learning to deal with this on a new level. He's happy as usual today...and is really my most upbeat child. Another reason it is so hard to see him sad.

    Thanks to both of you for your support! I am feeling better this afternoon.:cwds:
     
  5. mommabear

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    :( I'am so so sorry, that you guys had a bad night..this breaks my heart and makes me cry..Good job for staying strong for him..This can be so hard sometimes:( Hope you feel better :)
     
  6. DsMom

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    Thank you. We're both doing better today!:cwds:
     
  7. MamaBear

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    I think it's good for all of us to know that sometimes the meltdowns are going to happen, even later on, and that it's perfectly ok. Cry when needed, let it out, and then we can move on to whatever the next day brings, which hopefully is happiness and humor.
     
  8. danielsmom

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    Yes my son Daniel also had his meltdown last night...I don't know if a day will go by that I don't shed a tear over what has happened to me....I was starting to smile again and eat ...and now with last night it put me back in a fog...I'm so glad I can share this with you..I keep praying day by day...
     
  9. spamid

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    Why shouldn't we cry, even years later at this stupid, moronic, (@#*&%@(#$%& disease, no matter how long it's been? It still has changed our lives, and our kids lives. Grief is a process, not a linear path, and it's okay to allow ourselves to slip back when we feel angry, upset, or just need to cry.

    For us, next Monday will be 6 years. It's hard to believe. And yes, our kids thrive, go to school, make friends, and learn to be more self sufficient as they grow. As parents, we fight tooth and nail to protect them, to teach them, to make sure they are prepared to handle the world as adults.

    But it's still hard. This disease has made me appreciate how much most people take health and life for granted. I can't do that anymore. And I appreciate this board and the parents on it more that I can ever say (that goes for Jeff as well!). I don't post often anymore, but I'm thankful for this group of people. I know we all understand each other. We're on the same journey, no matter our kids' ages, or how long they've been diagnosed.

    We're all in this together. ((((HUGS)))))
     
  10. Mrs Puff

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    We have only been at this seven months. Ds has been a trooper so far. Just a couple times he seemed down about it. However, I recently discovered that he doesn't like to talk or think about diabetes. I thought he would be interested in things that I am learning about diabetes, or famous D people and what they have accomplished. I think it was lunch time one day and I was rambling on about something pertaining to diabetes and he was actually sharing his feelings. He pretty much said that the way he deals with it is to only think about it when it is time to eat and he has to take his shot to cover his meal. The rest of the time he puts it is out of his mind. I had to fight back tears. Just like I am doing now as I think about the conversation. I personally feel a need to dialogue about diabetes. He doesn't. So for now I keep D talk to a minimum. I try not to continually ask him what his numbers are. I go look at his meter instead. When I get home from school I try not to start conversations with "what did you have for lunch? Were you high? Low?" etc... First I talk about general stuff and then might ask a quick question about his numbers. He is more than just diabetes.
     
  11. SarahKelly

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    ((Hugs))
    I think for all people children and adults they have moments where it is all too overwhelming. My son will just ask why his brother can't have diabetes for a while instead, at three that makes sense to him just fine. My husband on the other hand just wants people to mind their own business and quit telling him about all the amazing "cures" they've just read about. I think for him it's more upsetting that people are always trying to fix him rather then move on from focusing on the fact that he even has diabetes. To him it is such a small part of who he is that he gets tired of being reminded that he has it.
     
  12. Aeagle

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    This breaks my heart to read this :( I hope your son finds peace with his d! Praying for your strong little boy.
     
  13. momof2here

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    So sorry your little guy is going through a rough time, it is completely understandable and we - parents and kids alike, all go through this. It is not fair at all and we wish it would all go away.... and then we move on.

    I hope your son will be feeling better about it very soon and when another day comes where it gets the best of him, I hope it passes ever so quickly. I know we have those days and we do our best but it is not easy... hugs to you and your little guy!

    btw, what is the 'd-life show' - where do you see that?
     

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