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Stubborn 5 year-old, newly diagnosed

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by ElfArmy, Mar 26, 2012.

  1. ElfArmy

    ElfArmy New Member

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    My son just turned 5 and was diagnosed a month ago and since then, it seems, he has become more stubborn, less likely to listen to us and unwilling do as we ask, across the board. I suspect that this is a combination of the dx and his age and am wondering if other folks have experienced the same situation.
     
  2. Nevaeh's mommy

    Nevaeh's mommy Approved members

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    We also saw a change in our daughter's behavior after she was diagnosed! I think it has to do with her highs and lows. She also has a hard time concentrating during school sometimes now and a lot of times I will check her and she will either be high or low! I don't have much experience since we were just diagnosed in October but I hope this helps a little to know someone else is experiencing this difficulty as well!
     
  3. bandmkolb

    bandmkolb Approved members

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    We saw extreme changes in my son about 3 weeks after. He was throwing tantrums,( he is 9 by the way) screaming at us, just all around horrible attitude. I wondered if it was a combination of all the changes and feeling bad from the changes in BG level. He has gotten much better after 8mts. Hope this helps...
     
  4. Mish

    Mish Approved members

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    well, if I were 5 and every few hours the people I trusted most were coming at me with sharp things, I'd probably have a large attitude issue too. From his perspective: you've been going on about "what a big boy he is" for a while, praising him when he does things himself, and now you've taken away all that. You poke him when you feel like it. You make him eat when he's not hungry, on and on. For a 5 year old it's got to be terrifying and confusing.

    Give him time. Just keep the diabetes talk as non-emotional as you can and as closed to allowing wiggle room as you can (at this point, that can change later). But you don't want to get into the power struggle with a 5 year old of "do you want your show here, or there? in the kitchen or the bathroom? now, or later?." Because 5 year olds are notoriously good at playing that game. Diabetes or not. Diabetes, right now, gives no choices.

    But do give him a sense of power in some other area - or reward the behaviors that he's continued . Wow, what a great job picking up your toys/getting dressed/putting your dishes in the sink.
     
  5. MomofSweetOne

    MomofSweetOne Approved members

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    Weeks 3-4 were the absolute worst for us behavior-wise with all the negative emotions coming out in full-force. A five year old probably can't articulate them as well as older kids, either. It does get better. Everyone in the family is grieving at your point of diagnosis, and the routines being learned are hard.
     
  6. Hayden2007

    Hayden2007 Approved members

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    Very well said Mish.. I agree.

    Our son just turned 5 in January and was diagnosed then as well. His temper has changed and now throws tantrums. Not necessarily diabetes related just in general. It must be the age!
     
  7. DsMom

    DsMom Approved members

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    Definitely well said. I don't big remember behavior changes when my son was dx at 4...but I can definitely understand why they might occur. At 42, I'm sure I'd be pretty darn cranky if T1 was suddenly dropped in MY lap, too!!;)

    My son did, of course, have problems with his shots at first...and we used a sticker chart for a short time. He got a sticker for each time he came to us without a fuss and stood still...we did not ask that he not be afraid or cry or yell...only that safety issues be observed. After a week with so many stickers on the chart, he could visit the dollar store. We did not need to do this for very long at all...and we phased it out easily.

    Hang in there!:cwds:
     
  8. MomofSweetOne

    MomofSweetOne Approved members

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    My daughter was told at diagnosis that she didn't have to LIKE any of this; they'd be concerned about her if she did, but that she did have to COOPERATE. My job was to take care of her; hers was to cooperate. That didn't mean that she couldn't scream, etc. as shots were given, but the fighting meant that she wasn't doing her job. She's mentioned it a few times since then, so I know it made an impact.

    We did stickers on a calendar for Lantus, too. It seemed like a reward for her, but it was a system that let us know Lantus had not been forgotten that day.
     
  9. Tamara Gamble

    Tamara Gamble Approved members

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    It's probably both. You're right about the age though. They are wanting to be autonomous. My advice would be to focus on any and all things he does with diabetes or anything else for that matter. Offer him choices so that he can feel more in control and feel good about the fact that he made a choice. You're only going to offer him positive choices but praise him when he picks one. This is the self esteem building stage. Kids at this age have a huge imagination as well. They are terrified of body mutilation. That would include needles most often. I have seen many children in the hospital setting that scream just at the sight of an IV that's been in their arm for two days already. I have covered it up and they are perfectly fine. The fears can revolve around actually bleeding to death with any booboo and the solution is always a bandaid. For some kids they don't remember life before diabetes so this part may not apply to them because it's something that they have always done. For others they can't understand why you would want them to bleed to death. At this age there is still a lot of magical thinking. This can cause a lot of confusion for them. That may be why you are seeing the acting out. It's heartbreaking. I think a previous poster spoke about positive interventions with response cost which is perfect. It will get better. That's all that I can really say about it. A call to the CDE may be a good. She may be able to help you troubleshoot a little more. Good luck to you.
     
  10. StillMamamia

    StillMamamia Approved members

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    My son with D was as stubborn as heck when he was 5...6....7;). My other son (no D) has been on a stubbornness wave since he was 5.:eek: I think it's most likely the age, and a bit of the new dx.

    Also, kids feel our anxiety and our stress, so I would watch how I am coming across to them. Try to be patient yet give clear instructions, reward with a thank you any cooperation. And be patient, patient, patient.:cwds:
     

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