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?..So I just checked Kadie...

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by Carseatmama, Jan 15, 2010.

  1. Carseatmama

    Carseatmama Approved members

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    and she is 60:eek: Now what if I wouldn't have checked her? I wasn't going to check her until 3 am. I couldn't sleep so I decided to check just because. Would she have dropped even more? Well parents I have a dilema...Kadie sleeps in my bed, pretty much has since birth. I did have her mostly into her own room right before she was dx. After that I was so chicken to have her sleep alone that I let her back in with me. Does anyone else have this issue or is it just me? I am seeing someone now and he basicly calls me a bad parent because I let her sleep with me. He says I am spoiling her, letting her be the boss and inableing her. HELP ! Do we need counseling?:confused:
     
  2. bbirdnuts@aol.com

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    Get rid of the man! He may need the counseling once you dump him. There is nothing wrong with you. He's trying to control your care/relationship of your child. He is setting up the situation to push Kadie out of HIS way. As moms we need to do what we need to do. I know you're glad you decided to check Kadie's blood sugar. There you go, you did what you felt you needed to do at the time and I'm sure you're glad you did.
     
  3. Barbzzz

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    I still have my 8 (almost 9) year old dd sleeping with me, though right now it's out of necessity since we've got only 2 bedrooms and 5 people. Nonetheless, I'm a big advocate of family bedding, and did this even before DD was dx. Now, I find that it really helps me with the rhythm of nightly checks and generally I can fall right back to sleep. I've also caught a couple of lows with unplanned checks an hour or two earlier than normal, when I just spontaneously awoke and thought "let me check her." I trust my gut on those.

    No counseling needed, imo, unless it's for your "friend;" sounds like he's jealous.:eek:
     
  4. StillMamamia

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    If you're on the pump, you can run a lower temp basal. I hope BG is ok.

    Anyway, whenever your child is ready (and you can coach or motivate her) then she'll move back to her room. I probably would try this over holidays or maybe babysteps over the weekend. And your companion really shouldn't get mixed in in this. I think kids need their space, and so do the parents, but when faced with a dx, it takes time to adjust, some kids (and parents) need longer. But there is nothing wrong with family bedding either, mind you. Like someone said, he's probably jealous, but he's a grown man and your child isn't.:cwds:
     
  5. Lizzie's Mom

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    Ditto ;).

    Glad you caught the low!
     
  6. wilf

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    It is quite possible that she was headed lower than 60 overnight - depends on when she got her last bolus/correction, how much exercise she had yesterday, and whether her basal is set right. Good that you got up and tested though.

    I don't think that your DD needs to be sleeping in your bed in order for you to keep her safe. What keeps her safe is doing what you did, namely testing BG levels in the night and responding to any lows you find.

    That having been said, I think your friend is out of line if those are his actual comments. You may need counseling if you want to stick with him.
     
  7. diabetesgoddess

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    If I just wake up for no reason, I almost always try to check on my son because you just never know. I have caught a lot of lows because something made me wake up.
    As for the sleeping arrangement, I agree with the "the guy needs to mind his own business" camp. You need to do what is right for you and your family. For my family, I allowed my kids to sleep in my bed for the most part. I liked it for testing but I allowed them to dictate. I found that in times of stress when they were younger that this really helped them get through. We called it camping out in my bed or a sleep over but no big deal was made of it and it was a safe place.
     
  8. Amy C.

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    The blood sugar goes up and down even through the night. She probably dips down at this time every night and then goes up. You happened to catch a low that may have been on the way up.

    It is easier to test when the child sleeps in your bed, but isn't necessary. Eventually, she will need to sleep in her own bed.
     
  9. Gracie'sMom

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    Our dd does not sleep with us, she was never able to sleep in our bed, even when very sick as a toddler she would ask to go back to bed:) However, recently we had company and she was in our room and it was comforting to have her that close. She generally sleeps in her own room, but we keep a baby monitor in her room to hear her CGMS. That way she can be independent but I have my safety net . . .
     
  10. Carseatmama

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    We did go swimming last night from 7:15 to 8. That could be why she dropped. Didn't think of that. Thanks everyone for your advise. I do feel more comfortable with her next to me, although I don't get much sleep because she is a bed hog:) Anyone have any ideas on how to get her in her bed? For when I'm ready:rolleyes: And should I show HIM all these posts?:p
     
  11. wilf

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    Don't show him all the posts.. :cwds:
     
  12. denise3099

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    OK, I'll be the odd man out. If she sleeps in your bed because you have a family bed philosophy then great. But if she sleeps with you out of fears, yours or hers, then I do think it is a problem. You don't want to make choices out of fear and you don't want her to either. You don't want her to feel unsafe when she isn't with you or scared to be alone. You do want her to feel secure and confident and competant to care for her self and to know that you are there for her if she needs you. I don't think having her sleep in your bed b/c you are scared she may die in her sleep will send her the right message. And I doubt that if you had a man in bed with you that wasn't her father, you would want your daughter in bed with you two.

    I am NOT bashing you at all here--I just want you to think about WHY you want her with you and does this accomplish setting her up with the confidence she needs. It's like the woman recently who wanted to home-school because she was afraid of her dd going to school without her. D kids can often feel that they aren't safe with anyone but their caregiver. That can create a lot of insecurities in them. My advice to the homeschooler was the same. Do it because it is in line with your philosophy and personal beliefs, not b/c you are terrified of leaving your child alone.

    Also, seriously feel free to ignore the above if it doesn't apply. :)
     
  13. Toni

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    Two schools of thought on the young child sleeping in bed with Parents issue and I think it should be left to the Parents to decide. Used to be a book called "The Family Bed".... Sis's first hubby was from Jordan and young children often sleep with Parents there. Since the person questioning this is a boyfriend, not Parent, it is up to the Mom to decide what works best for her. I do not think the boyfriend should be in the same bed with child. A stepfather would have more right to voice an opinion and, in that case, I might reconsider but a boyfriend, no, he should keep out of it.
     
  14. Omo2three

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    to get her sleep in her bed, small steps, positive encouragement, discuss it with her. Age 7? I think you could encourage her to do it, stating its good for her and you. Maybe a reward like a friend sleeping over..or girl slumber party.

    Just throwing ideas out there..I would do this because I can't sleep w amb either she is too restless. I would make the decision because its what you want not what the bf wants. No, you don't need counseling....
     
  15. ashleesmommy

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    I too have been chicken to let Ashlee sleep in her bed since she was diagnosed. She was sleeping fine in her own bed before then. I was just too scared to have her all the way upstairs in case something happens! Well my husband starting mostly sleeping on the couch even though we have a king size bed! Ashlee grinds her teeth very loud at night and moves around a lot while she sleeps, so it wakes him up and he cant sleep with her there. He didnt mind it for a long while, but after a while he wanted to sleep with his wife! I felt bad, so compromised and bought a video monitor. Its really great! Can see her breathing and all!! Although i do still put her in my bed if she had bad bedtime numbers or if feel she could go low for whatever reason! I really can understand a man wanting a bed alone with his partner! I dont think its necessary to have a child sleep with you every night!! But I can totally understand how much more comfortable you feel when she's right next to you!!! Ya'll probably just need some compromise! ;)
     

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