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Snarkity, snark, snark...

Discussion in 'Parents Off Topic' started by FloridaMom, Jun 21, 2012.

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  1. FloridaMom

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    I have come and gone from CWD, because I'm often discouraged by replies to threads that I believe have snarky, judgmental undertones...most of the time it's not replies to my posts - but, I don't post very often anymore because of this. When I try to come back and join again, I see the same people doing the same things. I'm not overly sensitive and can deal with it, because, like I said, I know as soon as I see a reply from these people, it will be like that. I just don't feel the need to go back and forth with some random stranger on the computer that way. It makes no sense to me. I take it with a grain of salt and move on.

    I often wonder how people who have never been a part of this site feel when they see it, though. Do they feel like they can't ask questions without someone constantly talking down to them or judging them?

    Actually, I really wonder what the point of replying that way is. I'll probably get some similar replies to this thread, and that's okay. Like I said, I will recognize the usernames and move on. I would just like to send a friendly reminder to CWDers that some people may have ZERO support system at home and come here looking for it. Please consider that before you start talking down to them. We are all on this journey together, whether we like it or not. I don't know if there is something else going on in your life and you feel the need to take it out on people here, but maybe you could get a little, squeezy stress ball or something.

    That is all!
     
  2. emm142

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    People don't usually tell me that my replies are rude or uncalled for, but I think I know who you are talking about, and they are my friends on CWD. I really don't understand why people repeatedly say that some people on here post rude or mean things. I think that they usually post valid opinions on certain topics, whether or not I agree.
     
  3. FloridaMom

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    Emma, it's not that their points aren't valid (and I'm not naming any names - no point) - it's that they are consistently condescending and argumentative. We're not at a diabetes debate. We're here to share information and support one another...at least, that is what I'm assuming. But - you know what they say about assuming!
     
  4. emm142

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    Maybe my perspective is skewed. I'm studying (and totally immersed in) a subject which basically involves full time argument, and I've come to see argument as something without any negative connotations, but rather as a useful tool to reach the best conclusions possible. I like it when people challenge my posts. It usually leads me to get to a stronger/better point than I was at before (even if that just means clarifying my view and continuing to accept it as correct). Each to their own! Thanks for explaining what you see the problem to be. I guess I'm just not very emotionally affected by this kind of thing.
     
  5. Joretta

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    I would hope if I offend someone they or someone else would tell me via private message. But with this being said I think people posting gruffly does put people off on posting to start with when they may need help. That is why those who come across supportative should stay and remember those who like to create debates have a roll too, because we can learn from them too. Some people really do not mean to come across rough but do and hopefully with private polite reminders from others that this is not the time for debate will help them learn which are. After all, some debate helps us learn more as we settle into the basics.
     
  6. Lee

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    I really don't get these types of posts. Just becuase you do not like the way a certain poster/s post does not mean that they are snarky.

    Maybe the poster is sometimes, but I bet they give out really good, straightforward advice more times then we can count.

    Just because we don't like how a poster posts doesn't mean that they are intentionally being snarky. Maybe they are, or maybe it is how you read it. If you do not like someone, use the tools that the forum gives you and block their a$$.

    And if we talk about snark, I dislike the people who only give hugs. When I post a question or a situation, I expect good, rational, practical advice. I don't come to an online forum for hugs and flowers and rainbows. Sympathy is a great thing, but come on - post advice people - I personally have blocked a few users who only post hugs and give no real and practical advice.
    (And that is not geared at you - rather it is a general snark - sicne I assume this is what you started this thread for.)

    OK folks - let have a free for all and post what ever snark we want in this thread so people can get their feelings hurt by some unknown, online individual! :confused: - yes - that is me being snarky.

    How does this thread help this forum at all?
     
  7. FloridaMom

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    ....and there it is! Fortunately, I am not someone who is overly emotional about strangers on a computer, but like I said - my reason for posting is that some people might actually need help but are afraid to ask for it. I will continue to give those people hugs and hopefully some advice if I can. My life motto is "Love Wins." I truly believe that. Above all, it does.
     
  8. emm142

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    Love may win in some areas of life, but in a forum for diabetes support I think there is a place for all things.

    Sometimes I come here to vent or to share good news, and I love it then when people say "ugh, that sucks" or "yay, that's awesome!". But you know, I wouldn't come here if that was the only purpose of CWD. I might as well go to some other support board where people were nice. The beauty to me of CWD is that people GET diabetes. Much as sometimes it is appropriate to just give hugs, the vast majority of the time I would prefer to learn something. If I post with a D gripe, I would like it if someone told me that I could change my management and solve the problem. I'd be a bit disappointed if I'd just been getting hugs and then later I found out that people thought there was something I could have changed all along.
     
  9. Sarah Maddie's Mom

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    But I'm not sure how your thread advances the stated goal of helping " some people (who) might actually need help"?

    Nor do I understand how anyone could possibly post in even the tiniest way in disagreement without getting slapped with a, "and there it is".

    It seems a self-serving thread rather than a helping one, imho.
     
  10. Joretta

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    It does help we all need reminders of how fragile some are when they first come or when they are down and worn out. Love does win and we need love at times a good debate with questioning at others. We need everyone as our differences makes this place work and I hope should some say good questioning but tone it down they would try so as not to send someone away.
     
  11. Flutterby

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    I think part of the problem is that some people just assume that certain people will be snarky. They do look at user names and remember what or how they took the last post and assume that the next post will be the same when the post may be totally different. I've been on this board a long time. The long time posters that everyone seems to call rude and snarky are the ones that have stuck around, those that are here to help, no matter whats going on, they don't show up only when their is a heated discussion going on. They have good solid advice and experience to back it up. Post need to be taken for what it is, for the words that are written and not for what you may think is between the lines.

    I don't even look at user names when I reply. The content of the post is whats important.
     
  12. Christopher

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    When I first came here I got a ton of support and information. I also got advice that wasn't that helpful. I also got comments that felt a little judgemental. My point is I got all sorts of responses. And I completely expected that, joining a forum that had a lot of different people coming from different persepectives, different parts of the world, different socio-economic backgrounds.

    I am not sure if this thread is a response to something you felt was going on in the A1C thread(s), but I kind of think it is. I honestly didn't see anything in those posts that were "talking down", "judging" or not letting people have their feelings. I actually thought it was a good discussion.

    To participate in online forums you need to have a thick skin, a good sense of humor, and the ability to not take things too seriously. There are going to be differences of opinion, there are going to be heated disagreements, there may even be some fights. Just like in "real life". It is the nature of the beast. Put a few hundered people in a room together and see what happens.

    I believe that 99.9% of the people on this site are here to get and give support and information. But in the process, shi# happens. Such is life. :cwds:
     
    Last edited: Jun 21, 2012
  13. caspi

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    I personally wonder how people who have never been a part of this site will feel when they read this post. Quite frankly, you are complaining about people judging and yet you are doing the same thing.... :confused:

    I don't see how this post is of any help to this forum at all. Especially the title..... :(
     
  14. danismom79

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    I must have missed something between the time I left work and now. This board has actually been fairly tame and quiet lately. All these kinds of posts do is bring people out of the woodwork to jump on the "so-and-so is a bully" train, and I hope it gets pulled before then.
     
  15. caspi

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    I agree. Apparently the OP didn't like what was being said in the A1C thread so it had to spill over to this one... :(
     
  16. Deal

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    For the most part Jeff shuts down those bickering threads. Until then just ignore and don't respond to posts that bring no value. I must admit that I have a few people on ignore (forum feature) and I no longer even see their posts.
     
  17. Lee

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    And there what is? Your ego assuming I was posting about your responses on hugs threads? Really - like I said in my post - I BLOCK people who annoy me.

    You wrote a post voicing a snark about the forum. I assumed this was the thread to post snarks and annoyances, so I posted mine. For you to assume that I was talking about you is a sign of a hefty ego. That would mean that I would have to remember your user name here and posting style. When in fact, you admit that you haven't been here in a while and I don't remember your posting style from adams. I remember people who post frequently and post advice, but I usually don't remember people who only infrequently post hugs and no practical advice. But you are welcome for all of the advice I have given you when you first started out.

    And since this thread seems to be about a thread I didn't even post in, I never even assumed that it was about me, like you assumed my snark was about you.

    But your response is perfect because it displays the fact that you believe that only posts that AGREE with you are appropriate here. Thanks for sharing your opinion and for proving how one sided you truly are.

    I WILL remember your username from now on, btw.
     
  18. danismom79

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    I have to admit I probably will too, but only because of this pot-stirring thread. That's unfortunate.
     
  19. mysweetwill

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    Well, as a relatively new member here I have to say I have at times been appalled at the way people speak to each other here. One of the first times I posted here I felt attacked and actually got very upset by it, sad but true.
    I bet if I re-read that particular post now it wouldn't bother me half as much, but particularly in those early days (and even now...who am I kidding) I was an emotional wreck, anything could bring me to tears...even a stranger on the internet.

    My point is, we aren't posting about the weather. This is an emotional topic, we are all sleep deprived and we all know typed words are sometimes insufficient to convey what we are trying to say properly.

    At the end of the day, however, nobody understands living with diabetes like people who live with it.
    I continue to come back because many of you have been living with diabetes a lot longer than me and have amazing advice for someone muddling her way through the first 6 months living with a CWD.

    Just my 2 cents.
     
  20. MamaC

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    At the risk of being flagged with a snarking penalty, my feeling is that if people are savvy enough to find a forum like CWD, they're savvy enough to realize what the online world is like...much like the real world, you make friends with some, roll your eyes at some, speak frankly with some, recognize some as stirrers of the proverbial pot, and avoid or ignore some. If this is someone's first foray into an online community, all that will become clear, and the diabetes info will be there regardless.

    For the record, I don't do hugs in real life, either.
     
    Last edited: Jun 21, 2012
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