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Ryan made multiple bad decisions...

Discussion in 'Parents of Teens' started by Mom2rh, Aug 23, 2010.

  1. Mom2rh

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    I'm frustrated. He went out on a boat with some friends. He tested on the boat and was in the 80s. Went wakeboarding and tubing. His site fell off (he had his pump off).

    Well...he did nothing. He had two different sites he could have put in. He has syringes he could have given himself a shot with. When it was time to eat, he ate. :eek: No insulin.

    Well needless to say when I picked him up he was HI. Actually he wouldn't test until we got home. When his BG is high I can't even reason with him because he gets angry.

    So I tried to talk to him about it this morning but it was pretty early...his swim practice is at 5:30 am ...but in typical teen fashion he didn't want to talk about it. :rolleyes:
     
  2. PatriciaMidwest

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    I'm sorry you are dealing with this. Sometimes my DD puts her diabetes on mute, too. It's so frustrating because I know she understands all the basic concepts and she is a whiz at math.

    I know what you mean about reasoning with them when their BG is high. It's practically impossible. Hopefully tonight will be better and you can find a time to calmly discuss. When my DD behaves this way we tell her she'll need to stay at home more (she's grounded) because she isn't keeping herself safe and isn't acting responsibly when she's away from us. These cycles come and go for us.

    It sucks...I'm sorry. I wish I had a better solution. Hopefully things will turn around quickly.
     
    Last edited: Aug 23, 2010
  3. wilf

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    If he were my kid he'd be grounded. Just like if it were anything else that put him in danger (drugs, driving drunk, whatever)..

    Not measuring or bolusing at meals is simply unacceptable.
     
  4. Kaylas mom

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    Hugs, being a teenager is so hard.
     
  5. chbarnes

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    I have to agree. He would have to prove he can manage on his own to get to be on his own.

    Chuck
     
  6. maryellen816

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    I am a big fan of problem solving rather than punishing. Maybe you could sit down some time and see if there was any other way to handle it that would both take care of his blood sugar and help with his reluctance to deal with it. He has already paid a price of an evening of feeling terrible from the high blood sugars and the prevention of that happening for the next time is what is important. I think he probably already understands that it wasn't the best way to take care of himself.

    I would suggest that a shot of Levemir in the morning might be a solution to the site coming off and being off pump for that length of time. Not getting any basal was probably a bigger part of why he was high than missing the food bolus since he was so active. And that would have happened whether or not he changed the site. Also, a piece of tegaderm over the site and maybe it would stay on to bolus food. At the end of this problem solving conversation, I would point out that one test and one shot isn't too much to ask for and would probably have made a fun day turn out a lot better.
     
  7. wilf

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    Depends on the teen. I never responded to problem solving or discussion. The only thing that got my attention was punishment.. :eek:
     
  8. Mom2rh

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    There will definitely be consequences...I agree. It will probably be not being able to go next time.
     
  9. HBMom

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    For us, texting helps. When he goes to sleep over at a friends house, he has to text before he eats and when he goes to bed. He is told that if he doesn't do it, he won't get to go next time he is asked. By setting up the expectations in advance we have had more success (not perfect, but better :0)
     
  10. Lisa P.

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    No fair. I want to go out on a boat with some friends. . . :(:p

    I'm wondering about the curve on him going high. If he becomes angry when he's very high, seems to me that the affect on his brain and nerves likely doesn't happen suddenly. I know I figured out with my kid recently that even though she seemed to "feel bad" at 250, when we could track it on the cgms we started to see personality affects at 180.

    So I'm thinking that he's 80, fine. Then 120, fine. Moving up to 180 and he would correct but, darn it, something fun is going on and he puts it off. By the time he gets around to it, he's 250 and now by golly he's feeling rotten and he darn well isn't gonna go do that stupid bolus thing sc#@w it. . .then the site falls off and by then he's 300 and angry at the world and don't you dare suggest he should stop everything he's doing just for a friggen shot. . .

    Ya know? So it's the frog in the boiling water, and maybe you guys need to set up a system ahead of time to make sure he catches this stuff early, the first time, every time. Doesn't let himself wait or put it off, because if he does he might not be thinking clearly enough later. If he has personality changes with you when you're high, you might want to mention that he's maybe not as much fun to be with when he's 300, not to embarrass him, but to let him know his peers might appreciate if he took a second out to correct, too. .. .?

    Hope you get it sorted, one of the first things my husband heard was that diabetes is hard with toddlers, but just wait until they hit 13. .. .:eek:
     
  11. zakksmom

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    This is a hell of a hand to deal to any kid- no matter what age!!! So with all the tasks, accountabilites and consequences laid out on the table I ask Zakk if he was ok with me helping him keep his d under control. I told him I wanted him to be a kid for as long as he could and I certainly was willing to step up to the plate and help. He was very cool with how I presented this and so we came up with a plan: He technically manages his d- I just remind him.. so he keeps his cell phone handy and texting is a wonderful way to send him reminders- I give him 15 min to respond and send another and if I dont get a response after 3 times then Mom is coming to get you be it in his room, at a friends or at the zoo. With Zakks blessing I have been very straight forward with his friends about the seriousness of Zakk's d, what to do if and when and they have all been awesome- and if he rebels.. everything just stops- if we are in the car I'll simply stop the car and not move until we get resolution- its a matter of respect; if I am willing to go the extra mile so can he..
     
  12. chbarnes

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    I think Lisa P. Has a point, but if his decision making fails when he goes high, he especially can't go alone without authoritative persons who understand his diabetes.

    Chuck
     
  13. Mom2rh

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    This is great. I love your analogy. Diabetes is really hard...teenagers are really hard. Teenagers with diabetes...oh boy. So hard. I really don't want to punish for diabetes. But at the same time, he's leaving for college in 3 short years...hopefully. LOL So we need to get good thought processes ingrained since we know he doesn't think like a human at this stage. :rolleyes:
     
  14. Mom2rh

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    That's another great point. It was an experiment actually. Got a big FAIL. So I take responsibility for not having the parents more involved. Won't make that mistake again.
     
  15. fdlafon

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    I agree . . . Jordan has pulled this type of stuff, so I can relate, trust me. It is extremely frustrating to me as well, but for us, there has to be serious consequences, or he'll think he can just do what he wants. Then it is likely to happen again because he got away with it once, why wouldn't it be acceptable again.

    Good Luck - Teenagers are tough! (My son is the same age as yours, I feel your pain!)
     
  16. maryellen816

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    I just don't see how he "got away with" anything. He suffered the consequences of how he managed his d. Maybe my daughter is bothered by her highs more than other teens, but she really hates to be high and if a day like that which could have been great fun ended with her feeling awful and angry through the night, she wouldn't do it again unless she just couldn't see any other way of managing it. My job is to help find another way.

    That said, if it were a common occurance, I would handle it differently and probably wouldn't let her go again until she showed more maturity.
     
  17. 2type1s

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    Donna...I love your advice...because that is what I do! We use texting as a way to communicate. If Morgan does not text me her numbers in a reasonable amount of time, she gets picked up. At the mall, the movies, her freinds house, wherever. I've only had to do it ONCE in 3 years. She never forgot again.
     
  18. LenasDad

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    I would be very curious to know what my child thought and felt about the whole situation. He knows he messed up. Lecturing won't help because he's heard it all before. He will need to lose freedom in managing his D because he's not ready for it yet. I see that more as a consequence than a punishment. He needs to /earn/ his freedom.

    Edit: Oh I see this happened a couple of weeks ago - hope everything is back on track now.
     
  19. Mom2rh

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    Thanks for your comments...unfortunately he views the consequences at punishment. :rolleyes: He's still struggling. We're muddling.
     
  20. wilf

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    Preety good description of what's involved in parenting a teen, I'd say.. :cwds:
     

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