We got Presley's new one touch ping in PINK in the mail today. It was emotional for me, i didn't cry.. because she was watching me. I smiled and was excited for her. But on the inside.... i feel numb. I'm not excited, i'm not scared, i'm totally numb. I think i'm SO scared and SO stressed, I can't even feel it. Or maybe.. i still don't believe it. Presley is so amazing, her strength is inspiring to me. I look at this three year old girl, with big brown eyes a bright smile living with diabetes for more than half of her small little life so far, and she couldn't seem bothered. She's only said two things of concern when it comes to the pump.... 1. "will it make me bweed mommy??" and 2. " it hurt me mommy?" But I have so many questions and worries in my mind i can hardly gather them all. I can barley sort them out. For example.. she's starting gymnastics on Monday (she'll probably be missing that one) and I think "where is the pump going to go? do i take it off? i'm not sure how to do what needs to be done to remove and put on.... do i have a pocket put in her gymnastics outfits? if so where" I'm worrying about things.. that I don't NEED to worry about. I'm frustrated at other people reaction to the pump.. i'm tired of "oh well that's great!! so she won't be getting pricked anymore!!" or "well that will just make it so much easier!" I dunno.... I know a lot of pumpers say it IS easier.. "it's freeing".. i think I've heard somebody say before, but to me... somebody who isn't familiar with the pump and who still gets invaded by negative thought when it come to diabetes I think... "YES.. she will get pricked.. every time we check her BG and every time we change the infusion site... and NO it's not "EASIER" we still have to check her BG, we still have to count carbs we still need to calculate how much insulin to give for the carbs, and she will be attached to this device EVERYDAY.. for the rest of her life.. how is that easy? I'm not looking for easier i'm looking for better control, a tighter control.. not easier, to me there is NOTHING easy about diabetes" I'm emotional, with the pump starting, and the unknowing down the road. I'm angry ONCE again at the lack of response I've received over our walk. It's SO INCREDIBLY frustrating to live with this and have people dismiss it like it's no big deal. I'm really, increasingly tired of that.