advertisement

  1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

OMG, What was he thinking???

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by TheTestingMom, Sep 23, 2013.

  1. TheTestingMom

    TheTestingMom Approved members

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2010
    Messages:
    417
    I'm wavering between pissed off and dumbfounded. Long story short....Son did not check his BG or take any insulin all day, even after eating lunch :eek: I'm so pissed off at him, he knows HE KNOWS what to do. Why? Why would he do something like this? He's 12, is it an age thing? I'm still in disbelief. :confused:
     
  2. Amy C.

    Amy C. Approved members

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2005
    Messages:
    5,560
    Welcome to the world of the forgetful mind of an adolescent. At 19, my son still forgets to bolus from time to time. Of course, at this point I can do nothing. He is the one who feels bad with the high.
     
  3. TheTestingMom

    TheTestingMom Approved members

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2010
    Messages:
    417
    I have a hard time with that excuse, how can they really forget. It's not like he's new at this. It seems like a weird thing to forget.
    I'm not sure I'm ready for teenagehood ;)
     
  4. TripleThreat

    TripleThreat Approved members

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2007
    Messages:
    1,785
    It will happen, they test boundaries, see how they will feel. Like a new girl and don't want them to know they have diabetes. There are a lot of hidden reasons behind I forgot and sometimes they just have teen age brain farts and just do forget
     
  5. StacyMM

    StacyMM Approved members

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2010
    Messages:
    1,039
    I vote age. This tween stage is slowly driving me crazy. :eek: We were out of town this weekend and DS stayed with my brother and nephew while SIL, niece and DD were out. My brother watched him check his CGM, count his carbs, get his PDM and push buttons...except that DS never actually gave himself a single bolus even though he had snacks three times. Does he know better? Yes. Did he do all of the hard work and skip the easiest part? Yes. Did he do this on purpose? Yes. Did he have an explanation beyond a shrug and an "I don't know" when asked why he didn't dose? Nope. *sigh*

    I keep reminding myself that he won't be this age forever. And that we just do what we can and carry on. This too shall pass, and all that. I'm just wondering how much it's going to suck when DD reaches this stage and DS is still in it. :p
     
  6. Mish

    Mish Approved members

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2009
    Messages:
    1,393
    That is the joke I tell my son, because it is better to joke about it. I just look at him and say, yes, I know, it is all so new, how could you remember? And then we laugh and go on. I mean, I forget stuff too.
     
  7. KatieSue

    KatieSue Approved members

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2010
    Messages:
    921
    They do eventually figure out that they feel horrible when they don't mange. But some days they still do it anyway. Mine wanted a CGM but then still wanted breaks between sensors, which we did and was fine. But lately she's had some weird lows and highs. She asked for a new one when the last one fell off so she could keep track.

    They do get it, eventually.
     
  8. Sarah Maddie's Mom

    Sarah Maddie's Mom Approved members

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2007
    Messages:
    12,510
    I don't think they "forget" in the way we mean "forget".:p The get distracted, plan to then get caught up is some ENORMOUSLY important social or school drama or news happens or they tell a joke and no one laughs and they spend the next 10 minutes obsessing over how their lives are ruined :rolleyes: I think everything is just so big, so fraught with meaning that teens and pre-teens would most certainly forget to breathe were it not involuntary.

    Having BTDT all I can suggest is not to get mad. Treat it like any other "problem" that needs to be solved. How can you help him remember, does he need some back-up from the nurse? Maybe a text from mom at a set time to help him get back in the habit?

    Solve the problem don't make it worse.:cwds:

    You are not alone, he is not any worse than any other kid his age.
     
  9. kiwikid

    kiwikid Approved members

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2005
    Messages:
    3,011
    I don't think my 12 year old thinks about it and then forgets.. She doesn't even think about it...OR she decides she can't be bothered... sometimes its really really hard NOT to get mad.. :(
     
  10. mmgirls

    mmgirls Approved members

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2008
    Messages:
    6,026
    So is he independent in his care then at school?

    Does his pump have a "missed bolus " reminder?

    What did he say was the reason? At some point he had to of realized what he had not done in the day, what did he think then?
     
  11. kim5798

    kim5798 Approved members

    Joined:
    May 7, 2009
    Messages:
    730
    BTDT.
    This will pass. But he does need to know that it is not acceptable behavior. You want to be able to go to a friends house? Well, I need to know that you will test on time and TAKE the insulin. If not, well, YOU CAN"T GO. Don't like it? Do something about it. Do what you are supposed to. I completely get it that they don't like it, it's not convenient, etc. But LET HIM DECIDE what is important.

    We had to give our daughter ultimatum. You want to be able to go to school events with friends? I want to know my kid is not passed out or in ketoacidosis. Test when required. Check in via text/call on schedule. Need a reminder? That is what that smartphone is for. If you won't use it for that, you don't need it for anything else. On a particularly bad week in jr high...we told her if she missed a test or bolus, we would come pay a visit to the school to do it for her. And isn't that what every jr high kid wants? Mommy to come to math class to check on them? Maybe stay for lunch? NOT. We told her that all afterschool activities would cease if she could not stay on the program. There is a difference between a one time slip and habitual bad diabetes habits. We all forget things....but forgetting to test ALL day? Not gonna fly in our house. That is your responsibility.

    Just tell the consequences if he doesn't do what he is supposed to & if he doesn't follow thru, let him suffer the consequences. Don't get mad...it is just hot air & they are already ignoring you:) Explain that you are responsible for keeping him safe & if he can't help you do that, you have to do what you have to do. And if probably isn't going to be the most fun for him.
     
  12. Lee

    Lee Approved members

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2006
    Messages:
    9,633
    Welcome to the life of a T1 Parent of a teenage T1. Get used to it. It happened and it will happen again. Choose your punishment as you would any other parenting punishment and breath deep and move on.
     
  13. swellman

    swellman Approved members

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2008
    Messages:
    3,542
    I have a 13 year old.

    They don't "forget" ... they don't forget ANYTHING.

    New OS is coming out today? All over it.

    New game is released today? Yup.

    Update for minecraft? Dad, enter your password.

    They do not forget ANYTHING ... A.N.Y.T.H.I.N.G.

    This is our private hell.

    Somehow it's our job, as parents, to make diabetes care on par with the latest software update.

    I am, admittedly, a horrible failure at this job.

    I will listen to all success stories.

    I suck.
     
  14. TheTestingMom

    TheTestingMom Approved members

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2010
    Messages:
    417
    Thanks for all the responses. I think I blew it, i lost my cool. :eek: He adamantly says he checked and bolused today. OMG. He's driving me over the edge. Both the meter and pump show NOTHING. So now he is lying too. I told him that this was his only `get out of jail free` card. If it ever happens again he will be going to the office and logging numbers and insulin doses. He didn't like that. So we'll see.......
     
  15. swellman

    swellman Approved members

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2008
    Messages:
    3,542
    Meter and pump logs do not lie.

    They're not allowed to by the FDA.

    I feel your pain and I have had the same conversations about the logs.
     
  16. ChaosRules

    ChaosRules Approved members

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2013
    Messages:
    107
    That is so true! Well, I don't know if you suck as a parent, but they certainly can remember what they want to, can't they?

    Anyway, I think we probably all suck at parenthood. We all have horrible failure stories that we remind ourselves of over and over, even though there are also some successes in there.

    I've been told by many experienced parents of young adults just to have patience as your children go through adolescence & early adulthood (it's needed whether they have diabetes or not!). I once had someone tell me that when her kids were in their late teens, she'd wake up each morning and think to herself, "no one's dead, no one's in jail, and no one's pregnant. It's a good day."

    Once the kids aren't little any more, we guide them the best we can, but ultimately they are their own people and make their own decisions. Of course, at 12, we're guiding them more than at 20, but my mom says you never stop worrying about your children, no matter how old they are. When my son was diagnosed with diabetes, she worried about him and she worried about me!

    Having a child with T1D definitely makes you worry, but I'd be willing to bet that the children of all you guys who care enough to join this website are going to end up taking very good care of their diabetes as adults.
     
  17. kim5798

    kim5798 Approved members

    Joined:
    May 7, 2009
    Messages:
    730
    Sounds reasonable. So if he doesn't do it. Follow through, and send him on his merry way to the office to log all the numbers & doses. It WILL be a pain. But, he will learn the lesson.

    Good luck!
     
  18. Lee

    Lee Approved members

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2006
    Messages:
    9,633
    You know, I often use the one 'Get out of Jail' card with my teenagers and find it works great. It is hard for me, as a mom, to come up with every scenario that they could possibly misbehave in. I use this card frequently to let them know the consequences if they repeat a mistake.
     
  19. Mimi

    Mimi Approved members

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2008
    Messages:
    1,906
    Of course they forget. We all forget things. D-care just happens to have potential serious outcomes when forgotten.

    Confession time. I have 2 T1's. We've sat down for big family dinners, bg's were tested, we carb count as we're serving, calculate doses and then get distracted by talking, eating etc. That's 2 parents and 2 T1's all forgetting!! :eek:

    My point is it happens. Stay calm and come with a strategy to help ensure it doesn't happen (too often) in the future. A pump alarm for missed bolus? We used this at school for one dd. A watch alarm? A phone alarm? Ask him what he thinks will help him remember.
     
  20. Heather(CA)

    Heather(CA) Approved members

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2007
    Messages:
    10,153
    What Amy said...It happens.

    I would calmly let my son know that if it keeps happening he will have to go to the nurse after lunch to make sure he is taking care of himself because I love him so much...Works like a charm. ;)

    Forgetting does happen, especially at that age, try not to freak (Not saying you did)
    Seth is 18 and forgot his Lantus the other night...
     

Share This Page

advertisement