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not responsible& school outings/sleepovers ect.

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by 3js, May 1, 2008.

  1. 3js

    3js Approved members

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    I am in Canada (BC) with an 11yr old on mdi. He is NOT responsible about doing his bg (will bolus tho). In fairness, he has a serious anxiety disorder and I think just has too much on his plate for an 11yr old.

    Our school really does nothing for him for d-care hands on. They are not required to. However they are helpful and I believe they are trying.

    BUT: as we have no nurse/support at school, I HAVE to attend trackmeets, outdoorschool, ect. I mean, it`s not illegal to send him alone, but they have made it clear they don`t want him there without me. And I wouldn`t feel safe.

    Am I being overprotective? He has missed a few things because I couldn`t go, or my husband couldn`t. Also, I don`t let him sleepover at friend`s houses. He has not been responsible and tested on his own thus far, plus has no awareness for lows now.

    I feel like I`m stifling him, yet how else do I keep him safe?

    I would really like some advice on how to handle these situations.

    btw, when he was dx lastyear, he was great at doing everything. Then in Sept/07 all hell broke loose:rolleyes:


    I am really fortuanate to be a stayhome mom, so I can go to the school and do insulin/bg checks ect.
     
  2. Hollyb

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    That is really a tough one. With the anxiety disorder mixed in, it's hard to know how hard to push or whether he really needs you to take care of things right now. Your gut feeling is probably the best thing to go on.

    If he is keen to do the sleepover, that sounds like something you could work towards as he demonstrates his ability to handle it. The first try should be where you know the parents and they are aware of what you're doing and on board. So when he asks, the answer is not "NO, because you don't check your blood sugar" but "YES, as soon as I am sure you will be checking your own blood sugar."

    So then you have a check-in system. "You need to check your blood sugar at 9pm and call us to tell us what it is. If you don't check and call, we'll have to come and bring you home. Then you need to call us by 11 pm to tell us what your bedtime blood sugar is. If you don't call, we'll come and bring you home."

    Would that sort of thing be worth a try, do you think?
     
  3. Mom2rh

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    Is he seeing a counsellor? If he was great before dx and all these issues are new since, I'd definitely get him some help.
     
  4. Gwyn

    Gwyn Approved members

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    This is a tough one--I'd probably keep doing what you're doing, but try to encourage him to take charge occasionally.

    My daughter was dxed almost two years ago and was great at the beginning too, but then we had loads of trouble. It turns out she just didn't want to do all the things she had been doing and didn't know how to tell us she needed a break.

    Even though we are almost always with her, we do give her chances to take over her care. For example, when we go to her practices (often 2-3 hours) I will sometimes leave for an hour or so so she is "in charge". She might not even need to test during that time, but it helps her know that we trust her (and isn't stressful for us either).

    Good Luck!
     
  5. wilf

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    I have two suggestions:
    - working on developing his awareness to lows, which is crucial for him developing some independence;
    - get him a cell phone.

    You can work to train him on feeling lows, and encourage him to participate by giving some appropriate rewards. Key to start is to run him a little higher for 2 weeks (no readings under 5 mmol/L, or 90 mg/dL). Then at some time when he is home with you with no stress and no distractions, purposely give him a bolus that will send him low and start monitoring BG. Ask him to periodically get up, move around, turn his head etc. and see if he feels anything as BG levels go down..

    As for the cell phone, if he will work with you there is no reason he can't go places if you can stay in touch by phone and give him instructions (assuming he can measure BG and give himself injections). If he can't, again training with rewards is the way to get him there. If you don't like the idea of an unrestricted cell phone, you can get one that will only do outgoing calls to 2 numbers but will accept incoming calls.

    Good luck.
     
  6. 3js

    3js Approved members

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    Thanks guys :)

    He has a cell phone, and can do everything- including figuring out carbcounting and corrections in his head.

    The problem is when it comes time for him to test and we aren`t there to do it, he argues and refuses (over the phone:rolleyes::mad:). Actually, he even figures out how much x amount of carbs will raise him if he sneaks- that`s another story!!!:eek:

    He sees someone, and she feels it`s just too much to deal with right now for him.

    I really appreciate the ideas, especially the check-in system, as it`s pretty much risk free- I can always go get him.
     

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