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Night checks? Parent or Teen?

Discussion in 'Parents of Teens' started by Bigbluefrog, Jan 10, 2012.

  1. Bigbluefrog

    Bigbluefrog Approved members

    Oct 1, 2010
    Parent checking or teenager checking?

    I still do her night checks and didn't think much of it till a friend suggested I encourage her to be more independent.

    Part of me wanted to lash out, you just don't understand D, then a part of me was thinking she is probably right.

    What has worked for your family?

    I know we have some amazing independent teens on this forum...I would love your input on this.

  2. Daniel's Mom 1993

    Daniel's Mom 1993 Approved members

    Dec 31, 2007
    I get up and wake him enough to test..he goes right back to sleep though. I feel like while he is at home I will do what I can, I would be glad to poke him and not wake him but he does not react well to that - he would probably hit me if tried..
  3. KatieSue

    KatieSue Approved members

    Oct 5, 2010
    When she's at my house (we switch weekly) I wake her up and she tests. When she's at her Dad's she sets an alarm and does it herself.
  4. kiwimum

    kiwimum Approved members

    Mar 14, 2007
    We still do his night checks if he needs them.
    We decided a long time ago that as long as he is still needing to get up to go to school and we expect him to do his best, then him waking thru the night to check and getting interrupted sleep was not the best thing...
    I also had a friend tell me we baby him too much and that I looked like a bag of sh*t and maybe we should let him be more independent....Whatever :rolleyes:
  5. bnmom

    bnmom Approved members

    Oct 26, 2010
    I do the checks without waking him (trying not to anyway!)

    I figure if one of us has to give up sleep, better me than him. He has to live with D non stop forever, so I take on whatever I can while I can.

    I do wonder when he's closer to going off to college - I'll have to start transitioning him more to nighttime self care then. But in my mind that can wait until a couple months before he leaves.

    I am afraid he won't do night checks when he's out on his own, but at that point I guess his roommates will just become accustomed to his mom crawling in the window at 3am every night. I'll be sure to bring cookies so they don't mind it too much :p
  6. nanhsot

    nanhsot Approved members

    Feb 20, 2010
    I only wake to test him if indicated by some change or concern, it's not a regular thing. I am of the opinion that we need to find a way to transition to adulthood now, and our approach in that is allowing him (within reason) to make this decision. He wears a Dexcom much of the time and we can look at trends and we do know what's happening, most of the time.

    He sometimes sets his own alarm and tests. If he's truly concerned (took too much insulin, or had to guess, or exercised a lot, changed his ratios, etc, etc) then he asks me to check too. But that's not a regular thing and quite frankly never has been.

    I think age at diagnosis is a factor in this, most folks I know whose kids were diagnosed young still tend to check far into the teens; most kids I know who were diagnosed AS teens do not have as much parental night checking.

    I trust his judgment on this. I know many reading this will feel we are being irresponsible but I'm the one living with him and he's the one living with the disease. He's VERY instinctual about his body and his diabetes and when he says he's fine, I trust him. When he wants a check, I trust him.

    During football season checking is non negotiable and a regular thing. Same during illness or any big changes. But the other 90% of the time we allow him to make the decision on if a night time check is needed and who will do it.

    Having the Dexcom helps a lot, because I can visually see that the trust is earned, that there are no unknowns happening. But even before Dexcom this was our pattern.

    What does your teen want happening? I'd start there and see where her head is in this. I actually DO think you should give a teen as much freedom as they are ready for, but don't force it. Just as with everything else, feed a bit of line and see if they are doing OK with it, feed a bit more, etc. My son wants to be in charge of his diabetes, and I'm happy to be the background researcher and support person. So long as he's responsible and not neglectful or idiotic about it, we'll let him lead.
    Last edited: Jan 10, 2012
  7. Pauji5

    Pauji5 Approved members

    Mar 16, 2008
    Spencer is almost 14, and only one year into this. I test him in the middle of the night. It's not that he couldn't do it, and when he's at a sleep over, does set his phone, test and then texts me.

    I just feel, he's still a kid. Our kids lives are drastically altered by D, and if I can help him, I'll do what I can.

    I test Kendall as well (she's 11) but occasionally, she'll feel low before 2am, test herself, get up, drink a juice, have a cookie, retest and then go back to sleep. I'll see these tests at 2am. I've told her I'm just down down the hall, but she says sometimes it's easier to do it herself!

    and for the person who said someone commented on the fact that she was babying her son, good for you. I don't let comments from others bother me, expecially from people that aren't living it.
  8. mom2Hanna

    mom2Hanna Approved members

    Jul 6, 2008
    I do all night tests, hanna never even wakes up. I don't see it as babying, she'll have diabetes her whole life, I'll make it easy for her as long as i can.
  9. obtainedmist

    obtainedmist Approved members

    Aug 3, 2010
    Molly does her own checks at night. She usually stays up 'til 12 and will set her alarm if she's had an unusual night leading up to bed. Otherwise, she won't check.
  10. Jake5131998Monday

    Jake5131998Monday New Member

    Jan 10, 2012
    rest easy: are night-time checks going to be easier?

    Hi All,

    First off, I am NOT a parent of a child with diabetes.
    I am a parent, and I have T1DM myself.
    So I stay well-informed, for myself, and my family.

    My Medtronic rep reached out to me last week.
    The FDA has FINALLY approved the night-time BG monitor!
    It is called "mySentry" and is a virtual "mirror" of the person's pump.

    Meaning: if your child (or your spouse) is wearing their Medtronic pump you will be able to see the battery life, the insulin reservoir and any alerts! Such as low reservoir.

    If they are wearing the SENSOR component of the Medtronic integrated system, you will see what their current blood glucose is, if they are dropping, rising, etc (based upon settings set up in the pump).

    Could this mean that current T1DM/T2DM parents and spouses could rest-easier???

    I saw this thread and thought I would contribute.

  11. pianoplayer4

    pianoplayer4 Approved members

    Feb 13, 2010
    parents and teens are a team, their both fighting the same diabetes... in my house I check twice before I go to bed and tell my mom my numbers + anything that might be causing them to go haywire, then together we decide if we need to get up, if I'm still planing to be up I'll check but if not my mom sets her alarm and wakes me up (I wake up when she opens the door) If I were on a sleep over I would call her and let her know my plan but I'm on my own, I know how to do it but I get help when I can =).

    Do what works for you, if your teen is burning out just doing the daytime stuff then they arn't ready to help with night time checks, if their like me and feel safer when they know whats going on then let them in your night parties!
  12. MomofSweetOne

    MomofSweetOne Approved members

    Aug 28, 2011
    Even with the CGM, our endo team recommended I check around 2 each night. If I've already been up responding to alarms, I don't get up extra, but the alarm is set every night in case nothing has alarmed.

    Most of the time I am quite satisfied by the CGM accuracy, but sometimes sensors are not great. We pulled one after 2.5 days this week because we couldn't get it to read closer than 50 points even with restarting and very careful calibrations.

    So, in short, MySentry should help with some concerns, but not with sensor issues. The adjustable alarms sound wonderful. I had moved the CGM receiver out of its penny bowl early this morning when it alarmed lost signal. Later, I woke to hearing both it and the pump at full alarm. I'd slept through them for over an hour.

    And the outrageous price on the MySentry - even if insurances does cover it - makes one not arriving at my house in the near future. We just paid the pump and CGM bills. Medtronic is out-of-touch with their consumers if they think we have that kind of money to drop on something that basically compensates for the lack of volume control design.
  13. Sarah Maddie's Mom

    Sarah Maddie's Mom Approved members

    Sep 23, 2007
    Does your friend also encourage your daughter to be more "independent" by starting to drive tomorrow? Getting a job? Begin to pay taxes on her own? What is wrong with people?:confused:

    What exactly would be so valuable in teaching independence through sleep deprivation to a 12 year old?:rolleyes: Your friend knows nothing about living and growing up with type 1 and perhaps you should encourage her to set her own alarm clock for 2 AM so that she can learn some empathy.:rolleyes:
  14. Bigbluefrog

    Bigbluefrog Approved members

    Oct 1, 2010
    some good points, although my daughter is 16 years old not 12. She was diagnosed at age 12.

    She is my youngest and really I am in no hurry for her to drive, although that may be happening soon enough, and she already has a great job.

    I agree with you, how could they ever understand what it's like to live with diabetes unless they walk in our shoes.

    I still do the night checks, but on weekends away from home, or if I am not feeling well, dd does her own checks. I still prefer to let her sleep at night and continue to help do night checks.
  15. Bigbluefrog

    Bigbluefrog Approved members

    Oct 1, 2010
    I can relate to this, and honestly wish they could see the bigger picture.

    As long as we work as a team in her D treatment, I think she is becoming more independent in her D care. She is making her own adjustments and does most of her inset changes herself. I do know that as we get closer to college, those nightly checks are important, and will have to transition to her doing the night checks....maybe she will commute to college...lol
  16. Connie(BC)Type 1

    Connie(BC)Type 1 Approved members

    Nov 11, 2005
    As an adult, I don't wake up and test at night, although, I seldom sleep more then 4 or 5 hours anyhow. My parents would look in on me as a child, they never knew how to use my meter(see picture), it was an old complicared one,
  17. Pauji5

    Pauji5 Approved members

    Mar 16, 2008
    Good answer!!!

    YES! I don't get people, and why they feel the need to comment on our lives. Let kids be kids, and if it means letting them sleep and not get up to test their blood, that's what we do. Why should it bother other people????
  18. emm142

    emm142 Approved members

    Sep 7, 2008
    I've done everything myself since I was 14. That is how I wanted it, and I did everything I was supposed to so my parents never had grounds to resume responsibility. However, if your daughter is happy with it the way it is, I'd keep doing the checks. Like the other posters have said, she has the rest of her life to do it herself, so unless she is adamant that she WANTS to take over, I wouldn't hand over yet.
  19. Christopher

    Christopher Approved members

    Nov 20, 2007
    I agree.

    To the OP, you are the parent, you know your child and yourself and how you want things to be managed. Unless a person has lived with diabetes and has first hand life experience with it, I would not put too much stock in their comments.

    I check Danielle every night, multiple times a night. She is going to have to deal with this the rest of her life, so I have no problem doing it. Plus, I know she is devloping properly, is independent and can manage her diabetes pretty well. I can see of no good reason why it would be good for her to wake herself up several times a night to deal with her diabetes. I can think of MANY reasons why it would be bad for her. To me, it is an easy decision and if people don't agree with it, I couldn't care less. :cwds:
  20. Lee

    Lee Approved members

    Oct 5, 2006
    This is my house as well. She has also said she feels much more comfortable and sleeps better at my house because she knows I will check her and that she does not sleep good at her dad's because she worries about it. For me, that is reason enough to keep checking.

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