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New with lots of questions

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by 10YrsofT1, Oct 14, 2010.

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  1. 10YrsofT1

    10YrsofT1 New Member

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    So, I have been reading here, and on the teens place, for a couple of yrs, and need some advice so I decidded to join for realz. I got diabetes when I was four and we actually didn't live in the US cuase my dad is in the army. I gues the way my dad learned to deal with my sugars is different then how they do it over here. So, here the prob - I really, really , really wnat to pump. My mom is ok with it. she says it will make it easier for me to hang out with my friends and stuff. And all the posts I read for the teens, everyone pumps or really, really wants to.

    My dad won't let me. I don't know if its cause he thinks Im stupid, or not responsible or something. But I get straight A's, I run track and Cross Country, I count all my carbs, so I don't know why he doesn't think I am ready! I cry every night I have to get my shots. We even tried putting me on some other insulin for 6 months so I wouldn't have to take a shot at school. But my A1C went up. And I still hate taking my shots.

    I just want to be a normal kid. There is a kid in my school that pumps and he has shown me what he does and how he does it. He even let me watch a sight change once. So I KNOW what's involved.

    I mean, I am 14, and I am a good kid, I don't cuase trouble, I do what I'm told. I just don't understnad why my dad won't let me pump. How do I prove to him that I can do this?
     
  2. TheFormerLantusFiend

    TheFormerLantusFiend Approved members

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    Ask him why not. Ask him if anything would convince him. Listen to what he says. Take him seriously and do your best to see his perspective and not to get upset until the conversation is over. Wait until he's done talking, maybe even until later, to reply to what he says. Don't tell him he's being unfair, don't whine, etc.

    It may be that it costs too much money. It could be that he's scared for whatever reason. It could be he doesn't understand what pumping is. Listen to him and he'll be more likely to listen to you.
     
  3. wilf

    wilf Approved members

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    I can not think of any way to improve upon this excellent advice.

    But I'm wondering has the question of you getting a pump ever ben raised at your endo visits? If you have their support, it might help persuade your father.
     
  4. 10YrsofT1

    10YrsofT1 New Member

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    I try and ask him all the time and he always says because 'we' are good...and even the endo has suggested it us. And he still refuses. I dont think its money cause we have army insurance. I just think it is his problem that he won't listen to me.
     
  5. Beach bum

    Beach bum Approved members

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    Maybe try making of list of why you want the pump, and why you would benefit from it for your dad? Invite him to come here and ask questions.

    At your endo visits, have you spoken up, I mean really spoken up to your dad and endo about this? It seems your doc is on board, maybe doc can help dad?

    Do you think you dad is afraid of the unknown? When he says "we're ok" does it mean "we're ok because I understand how to do MDI, and I'm afraid of having to learn the pump?"

    At your age, this isn't just your dad's decision, it's yours also. Do some research, and show him you really are serious. I hope he will listen.
     
  6. Flutterby

    Flutterby Approved members

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    I agree with Wendy.. you are old enough to have a say in this decision. What about Mom, can your Mom speak to your Dad?
     
  7. LittleGuy'sMom

    LittleGuy'sMom Approved members

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    Does your dad go to your endo appts? I agree that having your doc and your mom talk to him would be a good idea. I don't want him to feel like you're all ganging up on him but he needs to listen to your needs as much as he needs to explain exactly why he doesn't want to get you a pump. He may say that "we" are good but that doesn't mean that you are good. Good luck. :cwds:
     
  8. GAmom

    GAmom Approved members

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    He may have good insurance thru the army, but it's possible he can't come up with the copay, and is too embarrassed to tell you. 20% of 4-6thousand still is a lot of money.
    Is there a grandparent who might pay the balance if that is the case, or perhaps, babysitting or lawnmowing money you could come up with?

    Good luck :)
     
  9. Lisa P.

    Lisa P. Approved members

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    Army medicine may not pay for pumping at all. Just because it's "free" doesn't mean it's unlimited or easy to get. If it does, I doubt there will be a copay.
     
  10. chbarnes

    chbarnes Approved members

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    Also, he may be bothered by you wearing something attached to your body. There have been parents here in the past who mentioned this.
     
  11. wilf

    wilf Approved members

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    I think that at some level I can understand your father. I know that if my daughter wanted to switch to pumping, I would have not have an easy time with that. I have to work hard to support my family. I took time off work to learn how to do MDI. It is working (if you just judge by the numbers at least), so why change?

    And speaking as a stubborn kind of dad myself, I know the things that will win me over in a discussion with my children is if:
    - they have done their research and know their stuff;
    - they let me know what they want in a positive, assertive way;
    - they let me know they feel strongly about the issue.

    What about taking a kind of science project kind of approach to this? Do some research that you can show your dad - about what the studies show about how people with pumps do on average compared to people on MDI.
    Also, so that you can be specific (if that is possible) about the type of pump you want. And better yet, what about if you start thinking about how to help manage the D (if you're not doing that already)? And finally, how you present this is all important. Lantusfiend had good advice in that regard.

    The approach of many fathers can be summarized as "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" which in this instance means "if we're getting ok numbers with MDI why pump?" - especially if Dad's time and/or family finances are tight in the case of your family.

    Try putting yourself in your father's shoes - what does this situation look like from his perspective? Once you've done that, it may be easier to figure out how to tackle this. You know your father better than we ever will, and I'm confident that you can figure this out. :cwds:
     

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