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Need some D therapy

Discussion in 'Parents Off Topic' started by januaryblue, Sep 17, 2010.

  1. januaryblue

    januaryblue Approved members

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    I'm not quite sure where to post this as it is D related, but more my issue then my CWD's.

    As I've mentioned before a thousand times my dad was T1 and he passed away in 2008, almost exactly a year before we discovered issues with Samantha's blood sugars. His diabetes was not a good example of what a PWD's life can be. He had lots of issues, he was on dialysis when I was little, had a kidney transplant when I was 9 (1984), had his first heart attack when I was 17, but more then anything else the lows are what hit me the hardest growing up. There were many times when he would go so low he would pass out, and he would have to be taken by ambulance. Usually it was my mom and I dealing with him, and I still remember how solid and heavy he felt once when I tried to catch him as he was falling. I remember thinking how strange it was because he was such a skinny guy. I remember being about 6th grade and he went low when I was home alone with him and I couldn't get him to eat anything. I remember him getting violent once with my mom during a low, thankfully I only saw that once, but she's hinted that it happened more then once. And if you knew my dad you would know how strange that was since he was always mellow and calm.

    Anyhow, after he passed I prayed and prayed to dream about him because it felt like the only way I would get to see him again. In June when Samantha started insulin I finally had a dream about him, a year and a half after he passed. In my dream he never said a word to me, he just gave me a hug. It was really a comforting dream.

    Well, last night he was in my dream again, only this one wasn't so good. In my dream his blood sugar was 19 and it was a severe hypo and we could not get him out of it. It was horrible and scary.

    The only thing I can figure is that Sam's sugars have been crazy the past couple days, high, not low and of course I'm worried about her. So I'm sure in my head I relate her D to my dad's.

    I just woke up so sad and even typing this out has me in tears. I haven't told any one in my real life about my dream, not even my husband, I'm not sure why. I did feel like I needed to get it off my chest though, so I thought I would post it here.

    If anyone is reading this, thanks for letting me ramble. :eek:
     
  2. sisterbeth43

    sisterbeth43 Approved members

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    Elizabeth, I'm so sorry you had to dream about your father like that. It must have been scary for you as a child seeing him go low. I will pray for you that any future dream about your father are reassuring. I sort of went through this after my husband died. Most of my dreams are of him being in the nursing home and very upset with me for not taking me home. They are awful, as I can imagine the last one about your father was, too. Hopefully all future dreams of him will be pleasant.
     
  3. Mom2rh

    Mom2rh Approved members

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    I'm sorry you had that dream. My dad died 8 years ago from complications from type 1 D. I still miss him and dream about him from time to time. I would find it so disconcerting to have a dream like that.
     
  4. januaryblue

    januaryblue Approved members

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    Thanks ladies.

    Grieving stinks, and throw concern for my baby in the mix and it just gets even more complicated and heartbreaking.

    I appreciate the kind words.
     
  5. StillMamamia

    StillMamamia Approved members

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    I'm sorry. Big hugs!!
     
  6. bgallini

    bgallini Approved members

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    That must have been scary....one of those dreams you keep thinking about even though you know it was just a dream.

    I hope you have better dreams tonight.:cwds:
     
  7. joan

    joan Approved members

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    So sorry about the fears you have. I find dreams such a window into our subconscious. I am sorry about your fathers death and also his struggle with d.
    The only thing of comfort is that his d was long ago. He was probably on NPH insulin which requires strict eating patterns. If you don't eat the drop could be quick and drastic. Besides the usual 15 carbs he required lots of carbs to get and keep his bs up. He may have also had been hypo-unaware.
    Our insulins are much better. They are given specifically for the food eaten so usually the lows as not as severe. The CGMS is a hugh advancement especially for people who are hypo unaware. The information we have about food and fats and exercise were barely understood back then. Our technology keeps getting better and better. It must be very difficult seeing the d of today with what you know from your past. I think and hope our children's future will be much better thanks to scientists, research and technology.
     
  8. LittleGuy'sMom

    LittleGuy'sMom Approved members

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    Sending you some big hugs! :cwds: Like Joan said, d care is so much better now. I'm sure our kids will have much healthier lives than PWD's who were dx'd decades ago.
     
  9. kiwiliz

    kiwiliz Approved members

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    I am sorry you had such a sad time. Our fears for our little ones can be overwhelming, especially when we have lost people we care about to this horrible disease. I am glad you wrote about it. Hopefully you will feel better in the morning. Have a look at Sams numbers - sometimes doing something constructive, especially when you can't sleep, makes you feel more in control. Maybe post them - and pray Wilf will have a look - LOL!
     

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