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Need advice on Nefu

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by 4.my.son, Oct 14, 2008.

  1. 4.my.son

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    My husbands Nefu is 3 years old and weighs 102 lbs. He is a tank.. It kills me not to say something. But I feel I have to for the childs sake . He walks 10 ft and has to sit down. I am so worried about him. The kicker is the mother ( My husbands sister) she had Gastric by pass surgery 4 years ago. Last Saturday we went to festival and he drank 7 Mt dews in 5 hours !!! He is 3!
    She says she is taking him to doctors Nov 5 to see if he has Thyroid Problems. He won't , he eats till he throws up and then they say he has acid reflux. I don't buy it . He throws up because he eats and does not chew. What do I do? touchy situation. they give him things to hush him up . he rules them . in the morning if he just wakes up we are not aloud to speak to him because it might make him mad. Again He is 3 years old !!! This is driving me crazy. He already has a complex. and people refer to him as the fat one. Its sad and not his fault. I get so angry at them but must keep my mouth shut not to upset the parents. And I could care less myself I am thinking of the boy. any advice ? what would you do?
     
  2. Flutterby

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    yikes, that is a LOT for a 3 year old.. 5 mnt dews, gross... I won't let me kids touch one of those, thats one of the worst sodas on the market.. it definitely IS a touchy situation.. by the sounds of it your SIL most likely doesn't want to hear what you have to say anyway.. if she thinks its a thyroid issue and NOT the mnt dews, she's in major denial.. does he go to the dr on a regular basis?? If not, he definitely should be.. the dr's need to step in here and figure out whats going on.. I bet, since he's 3, and they ask what he's eating, she's not telling the dr's the truth.. he's probably not old enough to really tell them he had 5 mnt dews and what not.. you'd think a mom that has struggled with gastric by pass would be more aware of what she is doing to her child.. I've been overweight most of my life, its the LAST thing I want for either of my children..

    your nephew obviously rules the house and that needs to change.. if anything I think I'd have you husband start talking to his sister..
     
  3. mommyofAx4

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    i agree mt dew is horrible to drink especially that many i dont understand why the dr isnt saying nothin even if she is not telling them what he is eating or drinking you can tell just by his weight whats going on.my 3 year old daughter weighs 41 and they act like that is kinda big so i would like to see what they would say about him weighing 102.the dr needs to step in for sure cause it cant be healthy.
     
  4. 4.my.son

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    That what I said to my husband. He should say something. If it was my side my family would have been on me in a heartbeat, This is his first doc visit. she took him to health dept for all his shots. he has stretchmarks awful on his inner thighs, and they can't find any clothes to fit him hardly. The 5 mt dews was just at festival. don't know how many he had after that. I really want to talk to doctor before he goes. a year and a half ago he was normal size. my son is 5 and weighs 37lbs. My heart breaks for this little boy. I have Thyroid since 11 and I fight weight all the time It makes me cry for him. Its killing me not to just let it rip on them.thats why I need advice on what to do.. he is missing out on so much and the really bad thing is she won't take him places because she is embarressed of him. how sad is that? he has no disapline. he is becomming a bully. he is so out of control , he wants someone to help him I know . he follows me everywhere when around him , and I tell him no ! and make him walk and give him good things to eat. He always wants to know where I am.
     
  5. frizzyrazzy

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    I guess if the mother of a 3 year old who weighs 102 pounds doesn't think it's a problem then you're sort of out of luck. He definitely should be evaluated by a competent physician who deals in obesity in children. The best you can do is encourage that. I would imagine if he's eating nothing but junk all day long then sure his mood is going to be a bit surly. ...to say the least.
     
  6. mommyofAx4

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    Maybe you can offer to go with them to a appt that way you can kind of mention his weight just talking in front of the dr i know its kind of rude and may never happen but thats what a friend of mine did to her sister went with her sister and just asked the dr herself out of concern is her speech ok the dr finally took notice and sent the girl to have a speech evaluation so it worked .if not maybe you can talk to someone in the family that she is close to and let them talk to her.
     
  7. danismom79

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    Wow. That is a difficult situation. From what you've described, it seems like an overeating problem. BUT, there are other medical problems that could be contributing. Of course she wouldn't know that if she hasn't been taking him for regular check-ups.

    Does it strike anyone else as odd that he was average size a year and a half ago? Has something changed in that time?
     
  8. Sarah Maddie's Mom

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    I have to agree. How sad for the boy :(
     
  9. frizzyrazzy

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    do you think the Dr is really going to miss that the baby is 102lbs though???
     
  10. Flutterby

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    a year and a half ago he was 'normal' size/weight for his age? thats a heck of a lot of weight to put on in such a little bit of time.. my guess since he's only three now, it must have started when he went to regular table food.. there are some syndroms that cause you to gain weight, but this sounds like a case of overeating because he can because everyone gives into him.. its not his fault but he's the one thats going to pay for it.. he hasn't been to any dr's at all??? just to the clinic for vaccinations.. thats scary.. there could be so many things going on.. yearly dr. visits are more than just vaccinations.. Having someone go with her is probably a good idea.. if you are close in your relationship, offer to go.
     
  11. mommyofAx4

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    you wouldnt think so but if hes been going to the dr and they have not said anything then they need it brought to their attention obvviously.if he hasnt been going well then sure they wont miss that but i have seen some drs office that really just ignores problems that are very obvious.if he does go then thats the case here there ignoreing it or telling her and she just isnt telling other people what they are saying
     
  12. frizzyrazzy

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    i don't see how it's possible that ANYONE could miss that. A 3 year who is at the 95% for weight weighs only around 40lbs. A 3 year old who weighs 102 is unlikely to be simply dismissed as slightly overweight - that's the size of an average 13 year old. IF they've been bringing him to the dr's right along and IF the dr is not commenting on this, then the doctor is failing MISERABLY and they should see another doctor. I agree with you that perhaps the mom isn't telling the family the whole story.

    Sad situation for the child no matter what.
     
  13. mommyofAx4

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    yes it is very sad i hope if he is going to the dr and they are saying something to her then hopefully either they realize she is not listening to them or someone else goes with them next time like a father or someone that can hear what they are saying to her and help make her realize he is too big.
     
  14. danismom79

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    I want to say up front that I am not suggesting or trying to imply that you should involve CPS. You probably don't have a full picture of what's going on, and that would be irresponsible. If the doctors suspect anything, they are legally required to report it.

    I remember a Dr. Phil show about a mom who had her son taken away because he was very obese and she was the cause. He lost a lot of weight out of her care. I think she ended up having to have supervised visitation because she would bring him junk food during her visits.

    I can't remember if she was unwilling or unable to provide healthy meals, etc., or if she just didn't know how. Hopefully your nephew won't find himself in that kind of situation. Can you offer to have them over for dinner a couple of times a month or something like that?
     
  15. frizzyrazzy

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    that's not as far fetched as it sounds either - here's an article from the UK where protective services is involved:
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/6749037.stm
    in which they talk about an EXTREME case of a 2.5year old weighing 25kg (about 55lbs) HALF of what this child weighs.
     
  16. 4.my.son

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    he is not on any kind of sched he will get up at 1 in the morning and instead of making him go back to bed she will let him stay up all night and he eats what ever he wants. what ever makes him happy. no set dinner , no manners, he is out of control. he is a 3 year old basically making all the rules and everyone gives him what he wants so he does not get angry. he is gonna go through withdrawls. Its pathetic . He is huge because they made him that way but he suffers the backlash . 3 and already has complex.
     
  17. frizzyrazzy

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    Is it possible that he has one of those eating disorders where he can't stop himself from eating?
     
  18. 4.my.son

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    The father is an alcoholic he only cares about himself he calls his son fat boy.. Nice I have tried . they are run and hiders. if you know what I mean. they start but never finish anything. I do know what their doing and the answer is NOTHING to help that boy.
     
  19. frizzyrazzy

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    that's very sad for the boy.

    What do you think you should do?
     
  20. danismom79

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    The story just gets worse and worse. Would it be possible for your husband's family to band together and talk to his sister?
     

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