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My son is having alot of axiety about death. Any thought?

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by bandmkolb, May 1, 2012.

  1. bandmkolb

    bandmkolb Approved members

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    My DS is 9 and has had D for 10mts. The passed couple of months he has been worrying so much about death. He lies in bed at night and can't sleep for the thoughts running through his head. He says at first it was about himself and now he thinks about all of his family. It used to only be at night when he was laying there with nothing else to occupy his mind, but tonight he was walking through the house and jumps and yells "mom"! Then tears just started running down his face and he says "he had a bad feeling in his tummy." I am so worried about his axiety level and nothing I seem to say can console him. I dont want him to worry like this all of the time. I'm at a loss as to what to do for him.:(
     
  2. TheFormerLantusFiend

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    My Thoughts

    If it's specific to diabetes, then I think it's appropriate to talk about or check out books or otherwise expose him to diabetics who lived or are living into old age-Sonia Sotomayor, Ron Santo, etc. And don't read those articles that make it sound like being older and diabetic are amazing things that take extraordinary luck or skill or whatever (even if maybe they do).

    But if it's more about death in general, maybe it'd be appropriate to talk about death and dying and what happens after. It's a hard thing to understand.

    Or if it's really more about anxiety, maybe he should see a counselor.
     
  3. blufickle

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    I agree with Jonah. If your son is afraid of death because of the diabetes, let him know there are several of us on this forum who have lived with type 1 for over 40 years. I don't think any of us would have a problem if your son sent us a private message asking us questions.

    Did someone he know die? Did someone of a friend of his die? Did a pet die? Those could all cause questions and concerns of death.

    If you are a religious person, perhaps talking with your pastor/priest could help.
     
  4. Becky Stevens mom

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    Has someone passed away recently that your son knew? Has he heard anything about people passing away from diabetes? I think alot of kids go through this stage. They fear the unknown and of course losing people close to them. I would just reassure him that you are all in good health and plan on staying that way. Im not sure what your religious beliefs are. Ive shared mine with my kids and told them once when we went to a wake for one of their teachers that her spirit was in Heaven and that was only her empty container lying there. And I told them what my beliefs about Heaven are. If his fears have to do with diabetes I would definitely show him pictures and stories of people who have had type 1 for many years and are very healthy
     
  5. bandmkolb

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    There has not been any deaths close to us since a year ago. I asked him when this all started if he thought about this because of having diabetes or if he thinks he would think about it anyways. He said he didn't know why he was thinking about it. I have talked to him about how having D does not mean he will die from it. I have told him about how everyone dies but it's because God needs them to come home to him because he needs good angels. I reassured him that one day when we are all old and gray we will pass on and meet back in heaven and that we would all be young again and no one will be sick and he won't have D anymore. I thought that made him feel better untill last night when something just popped into his head and he had this look on his face like he saw a ghost. It was quite disturbing. Maybe I should take him to a counselor. I have anxiety problems and I don't want him to go through what I do. Thanks all.
     
  6. Tyson'smom

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    My son went through the same thing last year - he would cry and be so upset and I would hold him and try to reassure him that nothing is going to happen and talk to him about it. I ended up taking him to a pediatric psychologist and she told me to stop talking about it and she told Tyson that "your mom and dad aren't going anywhere they are young and healthy and so are you and you don't have to worry about anyone dying even for one second". She then asked him to think of his favorite place to be and he said Disney World. She told him that whenever a bad thought pops into his head to ignore it and start thinking about his favorite place and all the fun he has there. After that appointment he would say to me "okay I just had a bad thought but I stopped and thought about riding on Soarin' at Disney and it went away". It sounded wacky to me at first but the "ignore the bad thought" approach actually worked for him.
     
  7. bandmkolb

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    Thanks! I have tried that approach as well. I told him to only think of happy things whenever this happens. He says he tries but it doesn't work. Maybe I should have him think of something spacific instead of just (happy thoughts).
     
  8. DsMom

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    It may just be because of where he is developmentally. Young kids do not think of death the way we do...as something permanent and irreversable. Perhaps your child has just hit that point of development where he "gets it" about death.:( It's a lot to deal with when you really understand what death means. If a child is anxious in general, or dealing with other hard issues (like D), it may just intensify this normal stage of development. I would continue trying to talk with and soothe him. Let him hear how you feel..and do not worry, about death. I would even ask him if he would like to talk to a trained counselor who has experience in issues like this...perhaps he would really be interested.

    My daughter was only 3 when her great grandfather died...and she is anxious in general. For months, every night before bed, she would ask how many days she had to live:(...and how many days I had to live.:( We had to reassure her she had "thousands and thousands" of days to live. Eventually, she stopped asking. It was just a phase we had to see her through. Hopefully, it is the same for your son. With your support, reassurances, and love, he will reach a place where he stops worrying.
     

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