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My first breakdown

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by SLJones77, Jan 11, 2010.

  1. SLJones77

    SLJones77 Approved members

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    I took Quinton to school this morning so I could meet with the school nurse and the PE and Health Teachers. As we were going over things, I got a little teary, but nothing I couldn't hide.

    As soon as I got home, I broke down. Just cried uncontrollably for a few hours. I popped a xanax and took a nap. I feel a lot better. It's hard, I called a friend and he just didn't understand why I was so upset and it's hard to explain to someone, especially when that someone doesn't have kids.

    Is it typical for parent to go through emotional ups and downs as well?

    Since he will be home in a few minutes, I've composed myself and ready to be strong for him again! Phew, I'm exhausted!
     
  2. Norsewitch

    Norsewitch Approved members

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    After my son was diagnosed I had a good cry once a day for a few months then it was about once a week for a few months. Every once in a while it still gets to me and I have a good cry. It is better to let your emotions out than keep them all pent up. ((HUGS))
     
  3. Ellen

    Ellen Senior Member

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    Absolutely normal and all part of the process. Dropping our kids off at school is another reminder that some things are beyond our control and that's scary. We almost always put things in place that make it safe - but we worry. BIG HUGS. If you ever want to chat in real time, come to the chat room at chat.childrenwithdiabetes.com It's free to register.
     
  4. Kalebsmom

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    Perfectly normal. We are two years in and even though I do not have meltdowns like I used to, there are still days when it hits me. It is usually something really small and silly that ends up getting to me.

    Last time was when Kaleb was trying to check his sugar and his lancet just refused to poke through. We tried changing the needle, set it on a higher number, try a different finger nothing was working. He was okay with it and actually laughed a little. After he left I cried for awhile.

    I will say, it is NOTHING like it was in the beginning. It does and will get better.
     
  5. sooz

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    My favorite places to cry were the shower and the car..and like the others said, it still hits me from time to time..I would wonder more if someone DIDNT cry ever..:(
     
  6. diabetesgoddess

    diabetesgoddess Approved members

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    It is definitely normal. I went along pretty well for the first month after my son was diagnosed and then one night after everyone had gone to bed I sat on the couch and simply sobbed. I had no one to talk to and was so glad when I found CWD a year later! Its been almost 10 years and I still have my moments when I want this to just go away. I want to crawl under a rock and pretend none of it is happening but we cry, we vent, we dust ourselves off and we keep going. Hang in there!
     
  7. Gracie'sMom

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    As you go on it hits you at odd times, like when everyone else is eating a cupcake and your child is 400 so you ask them to wait and they say ok but look soooooo sad.
     
  8. spamid

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    We are 4.5 years into this, and there are still bad days. As others have said, let yourself cry, vent, yell, curse, etc if you need to. It does get better, but this stupid disease still sucks!!
     
  9. SLJones77

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    Thank you all so much! As I said, very few of my friends have children, and the ones that do don't understand what we're going through. I keep hearing over and over "meh, it's not a big deal anymore, it's not like he has cancer".

    Well, yeah, you are absolutely right, we are SO incredibly lucky that we don't have cancer, BUT, when your kid hurts and has to go through something so abnormal for a child, you just want to take the pain away!

    All of this, along with the fact that we both are simply exhausted! We're sleeping fine, but the emotional toll combined with the mental requirements is really taking a toll on us.

    I just keep reminding myself that soon, this will become a normal part of our lives and it wont take as much effort once we settle into a good routine and become comfortable with what we're doing.

    On a good news front.....Quinton's 2am reading was 150 (within his normal range) and he didn't have to have a Novolog injection!!! We did a little "no insulin" dance at 2am.....it was pretty funny.

    This morning, his reading was 172 (still within normal) and he only had to have 1 extra unit of novolog! We were super excited that he's "within" normal.

    He's such a smart kid though. He proceeded to tell me that probably the reason his numbers are so low is because of the "honeymoon period"!!!! I completely forgot about this, but my smart little chap quickly reminded me!

    Again, thanks for all the support!
     
  10. shekov

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    Sounds like you are handling everything very normally.

    I broke down a lot at the beginning, sometimes in very embarrassing public places when I was not expecting it! :eek: Mostly I'm a shower crier.

    Congrats on your great overnight #s!! I love the image of you doing a little dance at 2 am. I totally get that. I hated the middle of the night corrections before we started pumping!
     
  11. bgallini

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    I prefer to cry in the car...esp when Kiss' song "Rock N Roll All Night" comes on....that was a song Alex's band played. Sometimes I just worry!:eek:
     
  12. wvchinacat

    wvchinacat Approved members

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    Once I got over the shock of her being dx - it was ok for a few months . . but every now and then when someone asks me how she is - I usually respond with "fine" bc they really do not want to hear that last night she was 350 before bed and we could not really figure out, we then had to change the site, forgot to prime so we had to change the site again and this morning she woke up over 200, we got her numbers down after breakfast but then the nurse called this afternoon to tell me she was 387 and had trace ketones - she got home and she was 57 . . .ugghhh . . .sometimes the feeling of being alone as a care taker and not really having anyone to vent to who really "gets" it is overwhelming and yes - even 18 months into this I still cry about D.

    One of the reasons I love this forum so much is the fact that if I need or want, at almost any hour of the day, I can almost always find someone awake who "gets it"!!
     
  13. SLJones77

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    You guys have definitely gotten me through the last few days! I'm so glad I found this site.

    I'm a single mom so, I'm handling this on my own (except for this site and his dr's.)

    I really do appreciate it.
     
  14. sunnydays

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    Breakdowns are definitely normal. I cried every day for the first two weeks after Kobe was diagnosed then it was more like once a month. Things have been great for the past few months and then last week we started pumping and had some really scary numbers. I was down for about 2 days but now feeling fine. I think the emotional part of diabetes has its ebbs and flows. You just have to get through the rough days. Luckily this community is very supportive and you can come here and vent knowing that there are other people who understand exactly what you are going through.
     
  15. MySweethearts

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    (((((hugs))))) It is perfectly normal :) I get teary eyed when people tell me about how Luke is such a good kid and cares about everybody. Because as much as he goes through, he wants other people to feel good. I am glad to hear your son's BS readings have been good.
     
  16. Mom of 15 yr old

    Mom of 15 yr old Approved members

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    Still have my days....

    I still have those moments when I am alone and thinking about the struggles we have been through over the past 1 year and 1 month. I have cried and then I feel better. My daughter - she is much stronger than I. But then again, I don't have to go through what she does every day. I watch her and am amazed at her. She has her bad/sad/scary days but she handles them. I think that it is so normal for us to cry and feel sad. Our children are going through some tough stuff and it won't go away. That is not what a parent wants for their children. I would take it away in a minute if I could......
     
  17. MTMomma

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    Hugs to you. It does get better. Far more good days than bad. Really. You did good. I recall a similar time when I swallowed the tears all the way home from the school and then threw up and went on a big crying jag. I still have breakdowns but way less often. You can fo this!!!
     
  18. JustinsType3

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    i had my first meltdown about 8 months after Dx....i deal with this sort of stuff at work (but with animals) and with all his previous health problems it was just another thing....but one day after about 2 weeks of 300 and above readings i just lost it and cryed uncontrolablly for about 3 hours. And just the other day he had a reading of 42, which was first thing in the AM and he was seeing things that really werent there...from what he was screaming about it was something coming after him to hurt him and he wouldnt eat or drink anything i couldnt find the glucagon (it was sitting on the counter and i just was so panicked i missed it) i screamed for his dad and then lost it....i was so freaked out about it...im sure there will be more emotional breakdowns to come....
     
  19. Gracie'sMom

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    Give yourself a break. This is a very difficult thing to go thru and it takes a lot of time (for us over a year) to truly adjust. The endo told us that there was a mourning period . . . mourning for your "healthy" child, even though they are really healthy, you are mourning for what you thought your child's life would be like and now it's changed. Just remember that he will have a great life despite all the hurdles. I had my moments initially, of course. Then they got further apart. Then it would be that I was rushing home at lunch time to give her a shot because my sitter couldn't give her one so I could rush back to work and that hit me that I was going home to stick a needle in her! Made me very sad. Little things like that impact me now. Or when I go to check her in the night and I pick her "favorite" poking finger and put it up to the light and see the 100 black marks on the tip of her finger. Or when she is 400 all the time and we just can't keep her #'s down and the next week she's 60 most of the time. But most of the time now I must say it's just part of our day-to-day life and I am proud of her and what she can handle and how independent she can be with a lot of her d-related care, and I know she's going to be just fine!
     
  20. Charlotte'sMom

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    We've been at this over a year. And I hadn't cried about it in a really long time. But I recently had to have the "talk" with some new nursery leaders about D, the symptoms, etc. Afterward I completely broke down. While I deal with D pretty well each day, I hate having to tell other people about what's wrong with my kid, like she's an accident waiting to happen.

    It's good to have a nice cry every once in a while, so you can get it all out and start over.
     

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