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looking for some advice on sleepovers for girls ages 8-10

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by lohmggcjr, Sep 21, 2014.

  1. lohmggcjr

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    We hosted our first sleepover party for my daughter's birthday. She has only slept over her aunts previous to this. I was managing lows all night, one high that came after dinner. I am doing ok with d management otherwise. But, this not something I'm comfortable sending her to someone else's house to deal with at this point. But she is getting older, sleepovers are going to part of life. Any words of encouragement from veteran parents? I think id would drop her basal and try and keep her higher, but I'm not sure if that is even a good idea. The bolusing or checking her really isn't my issue. I am more concerned with lows or the going High above 300. Id always be available by phone, of course. I would never want to be a burden to another mom. Did you feel the same?
     
  2. nebby3

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    Well my dd didn't have a sleepover till age 12 though she's had a number of them this year since then. Dexcom is really what made these possible for us. She manages all her own care while she's away but she is a bit older than your dd. Without Dex I would have wanted the other mom to check bg once or twice during the night so it would have to be someone you are comfortable asking that of IMO. One sleepover she was high almost all the time but generally I'd expect lows from excitement and activity so I would probably reduce basal a but going in preferring highs to lows in that situation.
     
  3. Sarah Maddie's Mom

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    I never even considered asking another parent to check.

    You can send her with a cell phone, a set of times to call you and then you can either have her eat a snack if the bedtime # worries you or have her only do a fraction of the correction if she's high at bedtime. Mine always has a juice box by the bed when she sleeps over. She doesn't set her phone to wake her to check, either with or without her dexcom.

    Doing the sleepover is far more important than having great overnight numbers, imho.

    Good luck.
     
  4. tammy82

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    I had this issue last year with my 9 year old. Felt she was too young and wouldn't think to put the responsibility on the parent so she didn't get to go. I think I would be more comfortable when my daughter is around 12. I guess at that point we would need to communicate by cell phone and possibly having a sensor on would help if she goes low the alarm would sound.
     
  5. rgcainmd

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    The bolding is mine; I just wanted to emphasize that this overall philosophy is the approach we've taken since my daughter was diagnosed. Whenever I find myself needing to make a decision about whether I should allow my daughter to participate in anything, my decision process goes something like this: I make a preliminary decision as if T1D didn't exist. Then I problem-solve and come up with a plan that takes into account my daughter's age and what she is capable of handling on her own at that point in time, and I realistically look at what I can "control" from home. Like Sarah, I avoid involving other parents and have never asked another parent to check. My daughter checks in with me and I check in with her as needed via cell phone. So far, we haven't come across any situations where my daughter's T1D turned what would have been a "yes" before diagnosis to a "no" because of her diabetes. I feel confident that I am not putting my daughter in harm's way. I made a promise to my daughter (and myself) when she was diagnosed that I would never let T1D scare me into restricting what my daughter can do.
     
  6. MomofSweetOne

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    In theory, I agree with you but sometimes reality is that we do have to limit things. In our case, it was non-D adventure camp. She was 12, in the midst of the spacy-brain stage, and there was no way a camping trip with high activity, out of cell-phone coverage with no one familiar with D was happening, good theory or not.

    I was told by two wise adult T1s to not put her into an activity that she and I were not yet confident she could handle. One of them was emphatic that doing so could limit her dreams; he knew her dreams and he was correct. He'd lived the loss at diagnosis & didn't want her to go through it. He told me to reframe it not as diabetes robbing her of an activity but as postponing an activity to protect a greater dream. He was so right, and we've both clung tightly to it over past few years.

    My daughter DID go to non-D camp and had a terrific time. In fact, this year when I mentioned maybe being ready for adventure camp, she declined it because she was looking forward to seeing friends from prior years.
     
  7. MomofSweetOne

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    Have you considered CGM in the Cloud? That way you'd know what is happening BG-wise, and the other mom would probably feel more comfortable as well.
     
  8. lohmggcjr

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    To me, it seems terrible complicated at this point to try it out :(
     
  9. Sarah Maddie's Mom

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    I think comparing an adventure camp in the wilderness without cell service to a sleepover is a bit like saying, "Being an astronaut is scary and dangerous therefore I won't fly to Paris"

    Yes, Type 1 complicates simple things like sleepovers but sometimes I think we are guilty of reinforcing this notion that our kids are profoundly delicate snowflakes who have to be monitored every moment of every day and taught not to trust their bodies, not even to listen to them. It's a sleepover - if one thinks their kid will go low in the night then have them pack and eat a granola bar before bed. Far better, in my book, that a kid should be a little high for a night than to internalize the notion that they are always in danger.
     
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2014
  10. lohmggcjr

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    I never said she was a delicate snowflake, who could not go to a sleepover. I was dealing with lows from the start of party at 5pm and until about 2 am. I didnt even bolus her dinner until 2 hours after because she was 56 prior to dinner. Handling things at home is different than leaving her in the care of someone else. I had to ask her several times if she felt low because the dex was going off, but she was playing and being normal with the rest of the kids. She doesnt let D get in her way, even if it really should. She waits until the very last moment to do something about it, whether it is intentional or not. It is more complicated in my mind to send her with an extra snack and think that she will be able to stop, test, and treat on her own. She would even sleep through a low, dex alarm or not. This my reason for asking how others handle it.
     
  11. Sarah Maddie's Mom

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    I perhaps should have been clearer, I wasn't referring to you or your question but to a reply by another poster.
     
  12. Megnyc

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    What we did when I was a kid was I had to set an alarm to test at 2 am and 6 am. If I didn't call my parents with the BG by 2:05/6:05 they would call the kids parents. I didn't want that to happen so I made sure to always call them. I had sleepovers at least every other weekend from around the age of 10 and things tended to go very smoothly. My sleepovers were typically actually after a day of skiing so the reason for the night checks was the high level of activity. If she typically has lows at night you can reduce her basal or do an uncovered snack. The other thing that worked well for me was to not eat anything with carbs after 9 pm so when we went to bed around midnight I had no active insulin.
     
  13. swellman

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    It's really not. It does run about $100 and maybe $9 per month.
     
  14. wilf

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    Lots of sage advice in this post.. :cwds:
     
  15. MomofSweetOne

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    Nobody said it was; I was responding to rgcainmd's comment about never letting T1D scare her into restricting her daughter from doing so. I was commenting for the sake of other newbies that there are times we have to, even though we hate it and cry more than the kids. Ordinarily I would have made it work, but this situation I couldn't. What we've done instead is substitute the adventure activities on family vacations.

    T1D is hard, and we all approach it differently. We don't need to attack each other.
     
  16. wilf

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    I don't anyone doing any attacking.. :)

    I see people with differing opinions on how to best balance concerns about our children's safety, with the need to let them do things and take on adventures - even if the context means there could be some D management issues. This is something we all grapple with in our own way.

    Speaking from a personal perspective, I'm more inclined to give a child some freedom to do things and make mistakes. Lots of learning in those mistakes.. :cwds:
     
  17. nanhsot

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    Mine wasn't diagnosed until the teen years so I have no direct experience but I'd consider a compromise at this point. Allow her to go until the designated sleeping time, picking up at midnight or whatever. That way she can do whatever fun activities are planned, watch a movie, get into pjs and giggle with her friends, then come home to sleep where you can manage her levels.

    My (non D) daughter did this by choice when she was young, she wasn't big on sleeping away from home. I have had other girls do the same at my house and it was always fine with me to have a parent come pick up.
     
  18. DavidN

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    It really is not complicated to set-up. In the early days, yes, one needed some technical expertise to figure things out. Now, however, the set-up guides are detailed and easy to use. A friend of mine with very little tech knowledge set hers up last week.

    When I first got CGM in the Cloud I called it a "game changer". I was excited and caught up in the newness of it and probably exaggerated. HOWEVER, for sleepovers, having the CGM in the Cloud is an absolute game changer. Imagine "knowing" instead of "wondering". The sleepover parents can simply be "on call" if you see numbers that require attention. If you are OK with the $100 up front cost and $7/mo fee, I would do it in a second. Don't get intimidated out of giving this a shot. I've seen too many parents stroll into the Facebook group asking about this "Cloud Thingy" and they were up and running within days. Go to http://www.nightscout.info/. And if you have any questions at all, fire away in the Facebook group and you'll have 5 answers within 20 minutes. Good luck!
     
  19. denise3099

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    "It really is not complicated to set-up. In the early days, yes, one needed some technical expertise to figure things out. Now, however, the set-up guides are detailed and easy to use. A friend of mine with very little tech knowledge set hers up last week."

    Yep. It gets easier to do every day bc somone finds a way to clarify something. Now there are screen shots in the instructions and even videos. You could be up and running in a couple of hours. There's been a new upgrade to the version we are using that even lets the child or caregiver input info like carbs eaten and dosing and it sends it right to your pebble. Even if you only use a sparingly and only view it on your computer, I've been at it a few months now and still think it's a gamechanger. Now I can give dd a lot more freedom b/c I can watch her bs remotely. I can let her manage things and be her backup. It's great.
     
  20. momof1CWDinohio

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    I think everyone has to make the best judgment for their own situation. Everyone has a different level of comfort and a different diabetes experience.

    My son is so variable overnight that we haven't let him go on any sleepovers on his own. Though he manages himself during the days fairly well, he does not ever wake up to lows, highs, Dex alarms, etc. It seems we have active management every night, so I am not comfortable having him spend the night away other than with family, even now that we are up and running with CGM in the cloud. We've worked out a good compromise that is similar to a suggestion by another poster-- he goes to the party until everyone is ready to go to bed. He's usually very happy to leave at that point bc he's so exhausted.

    His school had an overnight (fairly local) trip last week, and my husband spent both nights (only nights; days were easier). The first night, he bottomed out so significantly that it took 4 juice boxes and 2 hours of disconnected pump to bring him up. And this was after we had him set a temp basal of -30% for the whole trip. I can't see asking anyone else to manage overnights for him, and he certainly wasn't waking up on his own to treat himself.
     

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