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Letting go,

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by nanhsot, Jul 16, 2013.

  1. nanhsot

    nanhsot Approved members

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    Not sure if I need advice or just a shoulder, maybe both. We're knee deep here in college prep, went to orientation last week, he stayed in the dorms while I stayed in a local hotel. All went great, he loves the campus and is itching to go.

    I'm excited for him, but am feeling a definite sense of loss, not just for the person leaving (that part is obvious) but also for the part of myself that's been so immersed in his D life that I'm not sure what I'll do with my time! I won't even have a kid at home with D, so even coming here will be weird. I'm a homeschool mom, and down to one kid, so that's weird...it's all JUST WEIRD!!

    He went to his first ever Endo appt this morning all on his own, for pump training but also just a final checkup before leaving for college life. Not yet sure if we'll keep this endo for another year or switch, that's still up in the air.

    Feeling melancholy I suppose.

    Mid writing this out, got a call from him and got the full scoop on his pump training and appointment. He went with almost NO data (he doesn't use his pump for carbs/BG and he uses 4 different meters and only took 2, hasn't used Dexcom for a while) and I threw him to the wolves to deal with them. HA.

    A1C 6.7, the best ever since honeymoon! Guess he's doing OK. :p They quizzed him on how much insulin he'd take for this and that, then put the data into the pump at the same time, he was dead on right. They love him there, think he's awesome, they think his methods are a bit wacky but his outcome is indisputable, so they support him, which I appreciate.

    Tslim is on board, he got a sample of novolog so we're good to go. Going to stay with apidra for now, and we'll just see how it goes.

    edited to add, for those who gave advice in earlier posts about cholesterol, his cholesterol levels are great now, so they are leaving him alone about that. He's been working a lot (hard labor, literally), working out a lot, and eating healthily (on the quest for 6 pack abs, still!) and I think that has all contributed to his A1C and lipid profiles.
     
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2013
  2. obtainedmist

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    It's a big adjustment, but look at how fantastic he's doing already! You'll get a lot of enjoyment watching him soar on his own!
     
  3. Sarah Maddie's Mom

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    I was just fretting last night - "just 3 years, just 3 more years to get her ready";) It's most certainly more complicated and emotionally wrought with D kids. For me, having just the one will make it harder, for you, having been his mother and educator probably adds to the vastness of the change.

    Sounds like he's absolutely ready though - you must have done a good job.:cwds:
     
  4. lisanc

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    I don't know how I will ever make it through that step ... however, reading your posts, all I could think was, Great Job, Mama!! ... you obviously did a great job in preparing him ... hope I do so well! Congrats!!
     
  5. KatieSue

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    I'm a year away from this. Baby steps, one day at a time. I'm sure like any huge adjustment it will just take time.
     
  6. Beach bum

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    As my daughter takes more and more steps towards independence, I think about the next phases of her life more and more. All I can hope is that we have taught her well and she keeps up with the good habits she has learned from home, docs and camp.

    It sounds like he will be fine. He may hit some speed bumps in the road, but I bet he will handle them well.
     
  7. Helenmomofsporty13yearold

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    It is hard to let go of managing D. I feel like an addict going through withdrawal as I have to drop "the habits". You are blessed that he is so great at managing.

    I think D makes us so enmeshed in our children's lives that it is extra important for them to break out on their own and extra difficult for us.

    It is obvious from your posts just how much you adore and admire your son and I bet it will be very hard for you to be apart from him.
     
  8. Amy C.

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    You may find it a real relief to give up the intense management. I sure did.

    You should find a way for your son to communicate with you -- texting, calling, e-mailing.

    I needed to know my son woke up each day.
     
  9. quiltinmom

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    I don't really have any advice...it sounds like you raised him well!

    It takes me back to that first field trip, which I was unable to attend as a parent volunteer. I wondered how he was doing all day. That was when he was 8, and still on shots. Sometimes I cant' believe I sent an 8 year old out "into the world" with a vial and syringes. lol My next hurdle is letting him go on an overnight campout (besides diabetes camp) without me or DH there. It worries me a lot. That is 2 or 3 weeks from now.

    I don't know if it will ever get easier to let him go. I'm glad college is still years away.

    Good luck! I hope you'll be around to help the rest of us when our time comes. :)
     
  10. Jordansmom

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    I don't have any insight, but I know how you are feeling. I'm just trying to forget its coming, but my DD tells me everyday how many days until she leaves for college (32 days:(). I expect to be an emotional mess. I expect our kids will do great though.
     
  11. nanhsot

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    Thanks, we'll get through this! I know that you reported you had sent your daughter off to orientation/new student conference alone, but I ended up going with, mostly because I was feeling so overwhelmed and confused by the financial piece of things. I was VERY glad I went and they had a whole parent conference with lots of great info, best session was the one led by current students, they were very honest and great.

    It was really neat to see him there, connecting to others already and enjoying his freedom. Even though I was there, I stayed back and away; some kids you could tell wanted their parents nearby, others were trying to shake theirs...mine was one trying to shake me off! I could choose to be insulted or proud, I choose proud. He is SO ready to fly. It's exciting and terrifying and bittersweet.

    He can't wait. He's asked me a few times this week "when is my move in date again??" His school is fairly small and they have a camp the weekend before school starts for those who choose to go, to meet others and learn the campus traditions, he's signed up for that so he's moving in early. I just counted, we have 36 days!
     
  12. nanhsot

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    I know. This has occurred to me. Horrible that we have to even have that thought flit through our brains. Was he in a traditional dorm setting? This campus has old fashioned dorms with suites, so there are 4 suitemates and a shared room with one other. I'm thinking that will give me at least a little peace of mind, that there are others around and about. Was that not true for you?

    He'll text me daily if I ask him to, just trying to find a middle ground where we feel connected but he feels some independence.
     
  13. HBMom

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    I still have another year to go before my son leaves for college, but I would LOVE to be updated on how things work out so I can get some ideas as to how to proceed next year. Hope everything goes well for you - I definitely understand the stress that you are under!!
     
  14. Amy C.

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    The 4 suite mates sounds good and your son sounds outgoing and will connect with them.

    My son's roommate didn't want to be there and basically ignored my son the whole year. I don't think the roommate would have noticed if my son stayed in bed. My son is in a single room now, but I am not worrying any more.
     
  15. U of I Mom

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    Couldn't help chiming in on this one, though this phase of life with my son ended last week. He made it through four years of college, two years of graduate school, and last week moved into his first adult apartment and started his job. :)

    It WAS hard getting used to not being as involved with his d. In some ways it was a relief, in other ways it was a worry. He was fine overall; one thing you might expect is increased blood glucose at first because of the stress and again around exam times, but YDMV.

    He only had one "emergency" type of situation. He got very ill with the flu and I ended up making a trip down to bring him home. It was during finals week, so the timing was especially bad. The infirmary tried to treat him with an IV and wanted him to stay overnight, but we decided home would be better. Once he recovered, he went back over his winter break to complete the missed finals.

    The summer before he left was hard; I worried about him and how much I would miss him, but once we moved him in , I could see how ready he was to start this new part of his life and felt mostly relief as we drove away.

    One thing I did was make sure we had a stock of things at home like extra test strips, an extra meter, alcohol wipes and his favorite things to raise blood sugar. It made visits home easier. Whenever we went to campus, I always brought a few boxes of alcohol wipes and some glucose tabs, along with whatever other goodies he requested.

    Have the numbers of the infirmary, after-hours nurse, emergency dean, and campus police posted in his room and on your fridge, just in case.

    Hope all goes well. It should. Our children are smart and resourceful!
     

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