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Letting go

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by lisamustac, Oct 1, 2010.

  1. lisamustac

    lisamustac Approved members

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    My ds started nursery school this year. He goes 3 hours 3 days a week. He is really enjoying it and I thought it would be a good separation from me being my husband and I are the only people he is able to stay with (uncooperative family with d care) The nurse is very competent. Sounds so good right? Then why do I find myself sitting in my car around the block from school? I am having a really hard time letting go. I am so worried that the teacher might not notice him acting different with so many other children. I know it's only 3 hours I am just a nervous wreck. Guess I just need to know this is normal and like everything else d related you get more comfortable. Sorry just needed to vent to people who get it.
     
  2. tiffanie1717

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    ((hugs!)) You will find that each day that goes by with no problems will help you to let go. It's a process and you shouldn't feel bad that you care so much! :) Sit around the corner until you feel comfortable that the nurse and teacher will take care of your child almost as well as you do! :)
     
  3. StillMamamia

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    As long as you won't be sitting in the car two weeks from now, you'll be alright.;) Take baby-steps. Shorten the sit-in:D every day until you no longer feel the need to.
    It's a good exercise in learning to trust someone else, and it's a good opportunity for your child to learn to trust someone else too.

    :) I...ummm....kinda "hung" around the school when my son with D started pre-k too.
     
  4. FloridaMom

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    I ended up withdrawing Ryan from Kindergarten until we get everything figured out - and he was going to be returning to a different teacher after being out for 2 weeks after dx (class size laws required his teacher to move up to 1st grade). Anyway...before I found out about class being spread out to the other K classes, I talked to the school and told them I was going to be VERY present there. When he goes back, I still plan on being very present. I'm sure I'll be sitting in the parking lot for quite a while!
     
  5. mmgirls

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    how about seeing how you can help out at the school. Surely you can volunteer and make that time usefull.

    on days that will be different I volunteer, making copies, getting a special snack ready, testing the kids on letter and numbers, help out with an involved center, art center amth center.

    By volunteering a few days you can really see the class dynamic and see that they are watchfull and that if he were to feel low, that it will be caught.

    good luck.
     
  6. 2boysmom

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    I was the same way when my son went back to preschool after diagnoses. Although for about a month I sat in the teacher's lounge right across from his room.:eek:

    I also volunteered alot especially on party days etc.

    It did get better. Now we are at a new school for kindergarten and I am not quite as bad but still don't venture far away from school while he is there just in case they me.
     
  7. Sarah Maddie's Mom

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    Time. :cwds:
    It takes time to learn to trust others to care for our kids. Eventually when the days, then weeks go by without incident you'll come to see how comforting it is to have a support system at school that you can rely on. ;)
     
  8. quiltinmom

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    He's 3, right? That's pretty young to go to preschool, in my opinion. There's absolutely NO shame in taking him out if it makes you nervous to have him there. (I'm not a big fan of preschool in general.)


    That being said...My 8 year old is doing school at home this year, but we're considering putting him in public school (long story). I'm nervous about trusing someone else with his D care, even though he's much older and can do a lot more for himself; he can test, knows what good/bad numbers are, and can tell when he's low, etc.

    I think your feelings are completely normal! There will come a time when you have to let go, but at age 3...I wouldn't judge you for keeping him home with you. There are times when we have to take our feelings and stuff them, but times when it's okay not to. Of course, everyone's situations are different.......you'll eventually get used to leaving him in someone else's care. You may even start being able to enjoy the break. :)

    Good luck!
     
  9. MamaC

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    Echo the baby steps.

    Someone remind me of that when my kid leaves for college five hours away. I feel like I'll be starting all over.
     
  10. meg9901

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    When I first dropped off DD at D camp the summer she was diagnosed, I also felt like hanging around.

    Part of my feeling was that for that intense period of time with the new dx, I got used to feeling SO responsible. I felt like I was falling down on he job when I first dropped her off. A weird feeling, mixed with relief. But I got used to it fast, though. LOVED camp!
     
  11. Becky Stevens mom

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    Lisa, I used to stand outside the door the first week:) Youre making it to the car? That is great!!! Next youll be able to go home and watch something on TV and soon after, ready for this?, go shopping by yourself!!!!!:D Im serious! Its an awesome feeling after awhile. And its a great feeling that our kids are growing up and making friends and having such a great time;)
     
  12. SarahKelly

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    Great ideas.
    and you're not alone. My son is two and a half and was diagnosed at 19 months old. It'll be a year in November and he started preschool this year. I had all intentions of dropping him off and going home to play with my other child. But that hasn't happen. Instead grandparents are having a fun time playing with my four year old while I stick around the preschool. It's not that his teacher isn't willing, I'm just not ready. And I don't know when I will be...and I'm okay with that. He's so little. Things happen quickly and I just need to be there until I KNOW that things are okay. But that's just me.
    Take the time you need to feel ready. Don't feel bad about it at all. Parents of children without diabetes do the same thing.
     
  13. lisamustac

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    Thank you so much everyone! I guess not having any family participate in ds care makes it hard to start to trust strangers. I think it is also good for him to separate a little from me as well or kindergarten is going to be a shock. I am sure the anxiety will subside soon. He enjoys it so much I wouldn't pull him out because I am nervous. It's just a new for him to be away from me.
     
  14. lisamustac

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    lol shopping by myself does sound nice :)
     
  15. Momof4gr8kids

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    Julia was dx'd the Jan before she started Kindergarten. I spent the first few weeks volunteering at the school even though the school was like 5 min away from our house. Julia wanted to be independent so I worked in the library or office, and sometimes did random projects for the teachers in the teachers work room. Eventually I learned to trust the staff and slowly weened myself.

    Its normal, and its hard. Its your child's life you're trusting someone with when it comes down to it, so don't beat yourself up over this. Just let it be what it is until you feel like you can go home, or run errands while he's at preschool =)
     

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