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I'm just so worn out with this...

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by Carseatmama, Jan 6, 2010.

  1. Carseatmama

    Carseatmama Approved members

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    :(some days I feel like I just can't do it and don't want to do it. But I have too, I have no choice.. I think about how Kadie is going to have to do this for the rest of her life. And statistically and scientifically I have another child that, from what I'm told, will most likely have it within 5 years, she has a 70% chance. :eek::mad::(

    Ok well thanks for reading my vent...
     
  2. shekov

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    We all have those days. Vent away!!

    I get tired of being the one responsible for 90% of dds D care.

    She's 4 so I feel bad even asking her to go get her test kit when she's playing because I don't want her to hate D.

    I actually get jealous of some posters on here who's kids were dx at an older age and can do their own care. How twisted is that?

    D sucks. All of the time. Just some days not quite as much as others.
     
  3. lynnh

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    I agree, Sherry. It does stink and you are right- having an older kid with D is a lot easier on the mom just because you are not the one doin ALL the care. I have a 3 yod dx at 2 and then my son was just dx at 14. Big difference! I still feel like I'm drowning some days with my d after 16 months of D but with my son, after only 3 months, I feel like we're in a flow. Lord willing, they'll all grow up eventually!
     
  4. frizzyrazzy

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    you know, we have a saying in the military - its in my signature - Embrace the Suck. it means, sometimes things are sucky and there isn't a single solitary thing you can do about it. So instead of hating the suck you take it on. You know: this is my sucky life and dammit its the only one I have and stupid sucky diabetes isn't going to win and if sucky diabetes wants to hang out here then it's just going to have to put up with ME.

    You can still hate it. It still sucks. and it sucks so badly some days. but you just suck it up and go on, and do it anyway. For me, maybe for you too, if I don't fight it, if I just do it and allow it to suck, it ends up not feeling as hard. Maybe that will help you too?
     
  5. shekov

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    I agree. I am an embrace the suck kinda gal! ;)

    But then again, sometimes i still cry in the shower so no one can hear me. :eek:
     
  6. AlisonKS

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    I'm feeling that today, I don't know how many times I got up to test lastnight cause he was borderline low. I just try to take it day to day and drink massive amounts of coffee.
     
  7. GinaB

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    I feel for you. Sometimes the stress and constant thinking take it's toll. Just know that you are not alone and you'll make it through the tough days. Hugs!
     
  8. frizzyrazzy

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    I wait till everyone goes to school and then I go into the cellar and let out a big scream. it feels sooooooooooooooo good.
     
  9. Toni

    Toni Banned

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    I feel so bad for Moms with babies and toddlers dx'd or the very young. E was dx'd at 8 and that was very hard. I don't know how I or her Mom would have handled an even earlier dx. I agree with the screaming and letting it all out post; maybe get a punching bag or kick a pillow around the room. But I do not like the fact she is 12 and will have to take this on herself in a few years. That is such a huge worry. At some point, you will lose complete control and have to turn D over to them. How can they do as well as we can? I can't see her getting up for a 2am check and functioning the next day. She probably won't do it. When they go out to live on their own you will still have all the worry about overnight lows, but no way to check to alleviate it. The only thing that consoles me on this point is that I feel there will probably be more advancements by the time she is 18. The pump will probably turn off when BG hits 50 and maybe the Artificial Pancrease to help or cgms that is virtually foolproof with very loud alarms..... P.S. I'm sorry your other child is testing positive for antibodies. Are you sure about the 70 percent chance? That is really a very high risk and horrible for you to have to worry.
     
  10. dragonfly

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    I see nothing wrong with crying in the shower. It's a good release. You can't keep all of that negative bottled up inside you.
     
  11. diabetesgoddess

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    My son was diagnosed almost 10 years ago and I still have my burn out days and I have my guilty days....I get to walk away from diabetes at times but he has this 24/7 for all of his known life. I hate that but I have had to learn to remove my own guilt and feeling bad. As someone said, you just have to learn to accept it and they will also learn to accept it. It is simply just one facet of who they are but it is by no way a defining part of who they are. They are children....who happen to have diabetes.
    I definitely am more drawn to those who were diagnosed as toddlers because we have the same experiences and adults diagnosed young...I love talking to them because they have been where my child is. Its sick but it helps me.
    Have your cry, crawl under a rock some days, there is always someone there who will help you back out or lend a virtual shoulder when needed.
    The best part of diabetes? The incredible friends I have made. Who would think that something so hateful could create anything so great?
     
  12. chkpea

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    I had a very emotional day...and I guess when I read a post like this it is almost a relief ...I don't feel so alone. I didn't have my release in the shower today....it was in front of my son. I couldn't hold it together. But I also believe that it is ok for them to see you sad, just not all the time. Just want you to know that you have had "a day" and so have I....it happens....it sucks...but tomorrow is a new day and hopefully things will seem a bit brighter.
     
  13. klewis101

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    Yes I am so sorry, it's hard watching each day to see if today will be the day your second child has a high sugar that doesn't go back down itself knowing how much effort it takes to take care of the first diabetic child!!! I am kinda glad the suspense is over. My son went almost 3 years after the antibodies were detected but he's an identical twin so I knew it was coming. But after 3 years of this with my other son, and thinking I had everything down the last couple of months have been the most trying so yes scream away sista!!! :D
     
  14. Jilleighn

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    I think it is totally normal to get the worn out feeling. My daughter was DX at 18months (1 year ago this month) and I have my days where I wake up and just think "oh how I would love not to have to deal with diabetes today". then I see her big blue eyes and realize I am being selfish and she needs me to take care of her. I have an amazing husband that does his part 100% when he is home, but being a stay at home mom I am here alllll day dealing with it. We had a very bad number day yesterday and I laid on the couch last night after kids were in bed and cried. *hugs*
     
  15. momma_fish2007

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    I have those days too, it is hard being the primary d caregiver and you have to be careful to not come to resent those loved ones around you (spouse, grandparents, etc) who dont' have to have this consume their lives. Just know that God gave you this child (children) because he knew you could handle it and would be the only woman for the job!

    And this is why I'm scared to have my other baby tested for the antibodies. I already feel like it's a matter of when not if she gets it and the knowing hanging over my head would just make things unbearable to me. I know you can't un-know this info but just take it one day at a time and thank God for every day that she is non-d. You're building up strength :)
     
  16. tiffanie1717

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    Oh my word, I so get that. I think that the lack of sleep makes it a lot worse because you're run down and just can't handle as much.

    I always feel guilty, too, when I complain because Ky and Trav have to live with this forever. I'm praying for a cure!!

    Love the "embrace the suck" idea! Thanks, Michele! :)
     
  17. StillMamamia

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    Hugs!

    At the risk of sounding moralising - take it one day a time. They grow up so fast, that one day we may look back and regret being overly worried, kwim? Of course, we worry, but, for their sake and ours, we have to rise above that, while allowing ourselves to have our down moments too.
     

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