- advertisement -

Ignoring D Anniversary

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by DadCares, Jul 14, 2010.

  1. DadCares

    DadCares Approved members

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2006
    Messages:
    321
    I recognize I will be in the minority on this subject. We do not celebrate or pay significant recognition to the date Marissa was diagnosed. Clearly the memory of those days in the hospital is difficult and I find it painful every time we mentor a newly diagnosed family because I clearly remember the instantaneous life change.

    I recognize (and very much respect) the therapeutic value to many friends who have events or specific remembrances on their D-anniversary. But, I was amazed when I totally forgot about the anniversary date last year until a few days later. We choose to focus on the future and the things under our power that can be changed. I guess we look at past events that represent celebration or fond memory (birthdays, Easter, etc.) and not focus too long on the negative when I can't do anything to change it. Is there any one else similar?

    (Again, I totally respect those who approach this sensitive day differently.)
     
  2. Sarah Maddie's Mom

    Sarah Maddie's Mom Approved members

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2007
    Messages:
    12,521
    I really don't think you are in the minority. :cwds:

    We marked Maddie's fist year because we happen to be back up at Yale and were able to bring some toys to the ped dept toy closet. That was great,;) Since then, no celebration, no marking of the day ... it's just another day around here. ;) Now birthdays ... that's a whole nother story:rolleyes:
     
    Last edited: Jul 15, 2010
  3. Christopher

    Christopher Approved members

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2007
    Messages:
    6,771
    I think your approach is fine. The fact that you forgot it means that you are focused on daily life and other things besides diabetes....there is no right or wrong stance here....we all do what works for each of us....
     
  4. MissEmi

    MissEmi Approved members

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2008
    Messages:
    1,899
    I don't go all out or something, but if there's something I've been craving that messes up my bgs or is a lot of carbs, I eat it and say "Take that!"
     
  5. sammysmom

    sammysmom Approved members

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2005
    Messages:
    1,635
    Sam's dx was absolutely HORRIBLE. His bg was 1382, he was put on a helicoptor and was in a coma by the time we met him at the hospital. He had a Rabbi sitting next to him holding his hand. The Dr's sent out an all call for any clergy still in the hospital and the Rabbi came running. He later told us that no matter the religion he did not want our baby to die alone. It was a HORRIBLE day. We do not celebrate it becuase truthfully just remembering that day still brings me to tears. I do not forget that day...I am not sure I can ever forget that day. I don't see that it would do Sam any good to celebrate that day. He was just a baby and does not remember it. We celebrate each day now because we do realize that we could have lost him that night. To each their own, but for us if I can just get through that day without losing my mind I consider it good! Now I can tell you that we just party it up on his birthday, big time!!!
     
  6. kiwiliz

    kiwiliz Approved members

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2008
    Messages:
    893
    No - I can't even remember exactly what date dd was diagnosed! Haven't tried. I was very upset! I remember Hurricane Katrina was on the news - but that is it! Everyone deals with things their own way.

    I did read somewhere that going over traumatic events sometimes reinforces them in your mind. I prefer to look forward.
     
  7. kiwikid

    kiwikid Approved members

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2005
    Messages:
    3,011
    We do nothing on our D day either. I always remember it, but Rachel's birthday is soon after and we have some major sibling rivalry stuff that goes on (she gets more than me, its all about her etc) so its easier not to.... :(
     
  8. Kimby

    Kimby Approved members

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2010
    Messages:
    267
    Our first anniversary happened to fall on an indoor swim party for the local JDRF chapter - in January! So we celebrated all we had learned and accomplished by doing something we wouldn't have been able to do before. It was really nice. Second year - we did nothing. It was nice for it not to get too much recognition. I think part of it depends on where the child & family are at the time.
     
  9. DadCares

    DadCares Approved members

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2006
    Messages:
    321
    Emily: Now I love that approach! (Except that she now has celiac so we better pick something gluten free!)
     
  10. DadCares

    DadCares Approved members

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2006
    Messages:
    321
    Now that rings a bell. Hurricane Katrina had just come through, then we were in the hospital (Dallas) for 3 days. The hospital (Dallas) was making room for victims of Katrina. I didn't realize the levies had broken as we didn't pay attention to news for a few days.
     
  11. PatriciaMidwest

    PatriciaMidwest Approved members

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2010
    Messages:
    1,297
    I don't think you are alone. We don't celebrate it either. We are so grateful that our DD is alive and doing well, but yet I can't say I feel up to celebrating her D anniversary. It was a devastating day for us and I don't have happy memories associated with it. We do joke about some of the silly things we did in the first few weeks after diagnosis, or how far we've come, but I can't bring myself to honor that day.

    It's a very personal thing, and everyone is different. I think it is really cool that some people feel good enough about it to celebrate.
     
  12. hawkeyegirl

    hawkeyegirl Approved members

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2007
    Messages:
    13,157
    We don't celebrate it either. Jack would just think it was weird.
     
  13. sarahconnormom

    sarahconnormom Approved members

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2008
    Messages:
    626
    No celebration here either. Connor's dx was actually very non-eventful with no hospital stay. We dx'ed him at home with my husband's meter but did not get an official dx until 2-3 weeks later. My dh is T1 also so I had always had in the back of my mind that one of the kids would end up with T1 (call it mom's intuition or whatever) so I was upset at the dx but certainly not shocked. He was dx'ed right before Christmas and the past couple years it hit me around Christmas that we had just passed the dx date. I don't really think about it. We just take care of each day and look forward to the next.

    Now Christmas and birthdays, those are huge celebrations.
     
  14. lynn

    lynn Approved members

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2006
    Messages:
    3,112
    We never celebrated until this past February. It's always been a kind of quiet day for me to reflect. But Nathan had been going through a tough patch with diabetes this year so I thought it would be good to do something special that was BECAUSE he has diabetes. We went to Craig's Cruisers and he had a BLAST!! He told the other kids that they were welcome!;) It's not something we do these days because of the expense so it was a good thing to give him a little boost.

    He now has a fund going for next year. He gets fifty cents for every site change that he cooperates and doesn't stall or complain.
     
  15. StillMamamia

    StillMamamia Approved members

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2007
    Messages:
    13,195
    We've done something special for the past diaversaries, but I don't think we'll be doing anything this year. Ian doesn't seem to care either way, although he likes the attention.

    And I don't think you're in the minority.

    What we "celebrated" wasn't the dx, but Ian's "bravery" through everything. I honestly think it means more for us, as parents, than it does for our kids. Maybe I'm wrong.
     
  16. Amy C.

    Amy C. Approved members

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2005
    Messages:
    5,560
    I don't even remember the date of my son's diagnosis. I know it was a Monday at the end of October in 1997, but am not sure which one it was.

    The only reason I have to think about it is when asked to fill out a medical form of some sort.
     
  17. allisa

    allisa Approved members

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2006
    Messages:
    1,619
    We don't do much either....we always remember the date because it was 03/03/03....and we joke that he was dxd at 3:00....but....it was really 1:20....can you even believe I can remember the time ?

    Anyways....we used to go out to dinner....now we just comment on how 3 is our unlucky number.....
     
  18. OSUMom

    OSUMom Approved members

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2006
    Messages:
    5,324
    I don't think you're in a minority either.

    Every family is different and that's okay. Honor your feelings.

    In the past we have gone out to dinner as a family and celebrated insulin and life. This past June we forgot - busy life got in the way, and that's okay too.

    I think honoring your child's feelings on the anniversary is what matters most. :cwds::cwds:
     
  19. kimmcannally

    kimmcannally Approved members

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2010
    Messages:
    1,356
    For us, it's really more of an "I'm so sorry you are stuck with this disease, let's do something fun on the anniversary of diagnosis to help you feel better". I say anniversary - we haven't been a year yet, but we do something special on the 4th of every month since he was dx on the 4th of January this year.

    In my mind, it really is a celebration that they saved his life that day. But for him, it's the above feeling of doing something special to kind of make up for being dx. He still feels they "ruined his life" that day. :(

    He was not in DKA or feeling bad in any way when I took him in. He had just been peeing in the bed (very odd for him), losing weight, etc. I recognized the signs and took him in. He was mad at me for a while too, saying I shouldn't have taken him in for that "check-up".
     
  20. Seans Mom

    Seans Mom Approved members

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2007
    Messages:
    2,279
    No celebrating or special occasion here either. It was a horrible day, week for us. My son was alive and thriving before that week and is now. During that week he almost didn't make it through, and his life was changed in a way that I see no celebration for. :(
    We thank God everyday for our son, and celebrate each year of his life on a truly happy day... his birthday. :D
    It's not that I'm not grateful for insulin or the tools we have to take care of his needs, I am. I just much preferred it when he didn't need them and made his own insulin. ;)
     

Share This Page

- advertisement -

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice