- advertisement -

I just read a text on my sons phone

Discussion in 'Parents Off Topic' started by sam1nat2, Mar 5, 2010.

  1. sam1nat2

    sam1nat2 Approved members

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2007
    Messages:
    4,546
    and now I feel horrible.
    He has been receiving texts from a girl he has been friends with since K. They have been hanging out more lately, but its really just a good friendship, I don't think they really like eachother as a boyfriend/girlfriend---besides, they are only 11.

    Anyways, the text from the girl says she may have a growth on her spine and if she does, she has to go to the hospital.

    Its too late to call her parents, but should I even do that to see how she is??

    This girl was dx'd with hodgkins almost 2 years ago. Last Fri I hung out with her parents at the school carnival and her mom was saying that she still had follow up every other month and so far so good. I'm so worried about her!! Going to have to fess up to reading the text---I didn't know if it was his or my phone that alarmed, wasn't trying to snoop
     
  2. KatieJane'smom

    KatieJane'smom Approved members

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2008
    Messages:
    1,670
    So, you are saying that you accidently read the text? Then no harm done. I would just explain to my son that the phone alarmed & you picked it up thinking it was yours.

    As far as the parents, I would def. call the mom (especially since you were just talking to her about her checkups) and explain to her that you accidently read the text on your son's phone and that you are worried and want to check on them.

    I'm sure she would be grateful for your concern and support.
     
  3. Sarah Maddie's Mom

    Sarah Maddie's Mom Approved members

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2007
    Messages:
    12,521
    I would probably talk to my kid about picking up the text, to apologise and to see if they have any additional details and not call the parents unless she is in fact hospitalized.

    At that age, what is and what may be tend to get blurred and I'd think it would be awkward to call the parents and offer concern only to learn that she's fine. It might make the parents feel like the world views their child as "the sickly" one - kwim?
     
  4. Beach bum

    Beach bum Approved members

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2005
    Messages:
    11,315
    Just be honest and tell him. Also, talk to him about his friend and comment that while you weren't snooping you did read the message in error. Go on to talk about what his friend said and to try and not to jump to conclusions about what is going on. She is most likely scared by what is going on and reassure him that until she talks to her doctor she doesn't have a definite answer to what's going on.
     
  5. Nancy in VA

    Nancy in VA Approved members

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2007
    Messages:
    7,308
    I wouldn't. I'm not saying she's lying or it not true, but sometimes kids "exaggerate" situations to garner attention or sympathy. I would wait - if you are that involved with the mom, you'll know soon enough.
     
  6. OSUMom

    OSUMom Approved members

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2006
    Messages:
    5,324
    It kind of sounds like you might have recent information from the parents. Her text saying "may have" doesn't sound like new concrete information to me. Sounds like text to text stuff from kids.

    That being said, if you want to talk to your son about it just be honest and admit your error with the wrong phone and reading the text is my thought. Be nonchalant about it not making a big deal about reading his text message that it was an error - and apologize (although at 11 isn't it okay to read your kids' mesages?).
     
  7. frizzyrazzy

    frizzyrazzy Approved members

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2006
    Messages:
    14,141
    That's what I was thinking too. I've heard WHOPPERS come out of kids mouths before.
     
  8. Ronin1966

    Ronin1966 Approved members

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2010
    Messages:
    228
    Hello sam1nat2:

    Don't do it!!!! Simply ask how the girl is doing for whatever reason you saw someone in the store the other day, you saw a commercial, something made you think of her.....and just see what he says... you can always call the mother afterwards, regardless!

    BTW how were you able to ever read in the "codes" which tweens all write in, its like Egyptian, needs careful translating :D !!!
     
  9. sam1nat2

    sam1nat2 Approved members

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2007
    Messages:
    4,546
    I told him this morning that I read the text and that I wanted him to call her. He left her a message. Sam was concerned as well. It didn't phase him that I read it.

    I called the mom this morning and asked how her dd was doing and told her what I found. She said that she was good, although they (the family) was a bit freaked out by her back pain, but it improved with a heating pad and tylenol. I told her that Sam was complaining of back pain too and asked for icy hot last night.

    With warm weather this week, the kids have been playing on the trampoline using new muscles and I'm sure that is what it was from.

    I know how kids can exaggerate, but I also know that cancer can sneak back at anytime. Although she is in remission, it has been less than 2 years. Its approaching the time of year she was dx'd. She was dx'd after having neck pain so the poor thing is probably worried when she gets pain again.

    I'm just so relieved that she is ok and her last scans were clear!! I may bake them a cake and bring it over knowing this is a rough time of year memory wise---we can all relate
     
  10. Big Hair Momma

    Big Hair Momma Approved members

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2007
    Messages:
    1,596

    I agree with Laurie, although I wouldn't apologize. But, I guess I'm in the minority because my kids know I can and will go through their phone texts, facebook, email, etc at will. I haven't, but certainly would if I felt like I needed too.
     
  11. caspi

    caspi Approved members

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2006
    Messages:
    5,134
    I'm right there with you in that minority! ;)
     
  12. ry's mom

    ry's mom Approved members

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2008
    Messages:
    101
    Glad she's ok...but in my house I have all pins, passwords etc...kids know that I can and do read texts...facebook accts and email. thats just the rules, and they dont have a problem with it. :rolleyes:
     
  13. sam1nat2

    sam1nat2 Approved members

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2007
    Messages:
    4,546
    he really wouldn't think to hide it, I'm going to have to let him know before its even an issue that there won't be "secrets" from me.

    Too dangerous these days and I truly believe that these kids have no idea what kind of trouble they can get themselves into, as a parent its my job to protect him.
     
  14. 2type1s

    2type1s Approved members

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2008
    Messages:
    1,438
    I'm in the minority too. I routinely tell my children I've gone through their text messages. It's not that I don't trust them, but it's my job to keep the safe until they leave this house. I think kids today have TOO MUCH freedom. They say things on the internet and on FB that they wouldn't say in person. I am their friends on FB, and go through their walls too. My girls are teenagers, and I think it should start early. They are straight A students, have never been in trouble, but I still do it. I know what I did : ) and I was a good girl (mostly)
     
  15. Connie(BC)Type 1

    Connie(BC)Type 1 Approved members

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2005
    Messages:
    3,388
    I'm with you guys, parents have all the rights to read anything a child has(texts, facebook, email, etc ) You're the parents, it's your job!
     
  16. Jensmami

    Jensmami Approved members

    Joined:
    May 17, 2007
    Messages:
    2,082
    So am I then. :p Jenny knows I am checking everything too ;)
     
  17. dqmomof3

    dqmomof3 Approved members

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2007
    Messages:
    2,778
    We do random phone checks around here. All of a sudden I'll just look at one of my kids and say, "Hand over the phone." Then I scan through and read the texts. They have no idea when we're going to ask. Works out well for all parties...they know I'm not reading all the time, but that I will when I want to or feel like I need to do so!
     
  18. caspi

    caspi Approved members

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2006
    Messages:
    5,134
    This is exactly what I do, lol!
     
  19. Mikker

    Mikker Approved members

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2009
    Messages:
    794
    Us too. If we feel there is a reason, anything that comes into, connects to, or is related to our home or family is open to scrutiny. In the case of the mentioned text thought, I would leave it alone. Unless it's harmful or illegal, we don't feel it is our prerogative to interfere with our childrens lives to that extent. If he wanted you to know, he would have talked to you about it.
     
  20. Sarah Maddie's Mom

    Sarah Maddie's Mom Approved members

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2007
    Messages:
    12,521
    We monitor her emails and her facebook, she knows this. Texts, less so, but the presumption is that at 12, her sphere of privacy is pretty small ;)
     

Share This Page

- advertisement -

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice