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How do you handle Birthday Parties?

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by Mom2CNC, Feb 26, 2013.

  1. Mom2CNC

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    Hi all- My daughter is at the age where her friends are starting to have drop-off birthday parties.

    In the past it was fine, we would just hang around, or stop back at the party, test & take at the appropriate time without an issue. But now is the point where there are no other parents staying at these parties or they are going someplace where the guests are being treated to the venue and it is impossible for me to tag along or drop in.

    So what do you do in these situations? (She's 8)
     
    Last edited: Feb 26, 2013
  2. mmgirls

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    how old is your child?
     
  3. Mom2CNC

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    She's 8 :)
     
  4. lmf1122

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    Is your DD able to check her blood sugar and know what a low/high number is?

    Around 8 is when I started feeling OK with dropping her off at a party. She carries a cell phone with her and has a CGM, so that gives me much more peace of mind. If it is at her friend's house, I speak to the child's parent briefly before I leave and let them know DD has Diabetes and that she can manage it pretty much on her own, and try to find out what foods will be served. Then, before DD eats she checks her BG and calls me and we try to guess the carbs and she boluses.

    For parties in a public place, I still hang around if possible. For instance, she recently went to a party at a supermarket with a Cooking School. I dropped her off and then did some food shopping while the kids were making/cooking the food, but stopped back when they started to eat to help her count carbs and bolus.

    I would do whatever you and your DD are comfortable with, even if it means you stick around at the party until you're both ready to drop off.
     
  5. nebby3

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    Honestly at 8 I still stayed. Now at 10 she has play dates without me but a party has so many variables I like to stay.
     
  6. mmgirls

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    Mine is 8 also, and I have so far never left her at a party by herself. Stayed at a party till 1130pm once in leu of a sleepover.

    Every party is so different, foods, activity, inactivity, never know.

    When I RSVP I just let them know that I will be attending with her so that she can fully participate in the celebration. I also mention that I will be happy to help in anyway with the party and have always found that the extra hands are welcome.
     
  7. 3kidlets

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    Hana was 8, almost 9 at dx.
    I let her go to the parties fom the beginning. She has a Cell phone. She would text me her blood sugar about an hour after drop off and again when eating. She would tell me what she ate and bolus after she ate. Once she ate all the sugary stuff and pizza, I didn't worry about her going low any more. Usually the parties are fairly short. Under 3 hours.
    She's now almost 12 and does sleepovers and went on a school retreat for 2 nights on her own. I still worry but with cell phones, we are always in contact. It will be even better when she gets her CGM.
     
  8. Nancy in VA

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    I usually just have a conversation with the mother about what they are eating and then leave her a list of how much to dose. She's actually gluten-free so a lot of times, she's taking her own pizza and cupcake to the party anyway. A recent party, the mom basically had a "buffet" of foods and fruits - I just wrote down how much the carbs were for each and then when it was time to eat, Emma just looked at the list of what she chose and then calculated her carbs. She really wants to be like the other girls and staying at a party by herself is a big one. She's been counting her carbs for a while and can probably rattle off a couple dozen carb counts herself - she knows how to read a label and determine serving size and carbs for full and partial servings. She's not as good at swagging yet, but that's why I usually check out the food and write down anything she might need to swag
     
  9. Sarah Maddie's Mom

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    If I recall correctly, I would ask what was being served when I dropped her off and then, since food was usually the final act, I'd leave her there and just come back for the last 30 min. She'd check her bg before getting out of the car and since she has always been pretty spot on about lows, just take a juice along in case. The exception was parties at arcades, bowling, paint ball etc. Then I'd bring a book and find a corner and keep an eye on things.
     
  10. hawkeyegirl

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    My son is 8, diagnosed at 3, and we've only done one party where I dropped him off. It was at a house just on the other side of our subdivision, and I could be there in about a minute. I gave him a cell phone, and had him call me when they were going to eat. (Pizza, of course. ;)) I went over and dosed him and prayed for the best.

    It was nuts, but his BG was actually perfect. I only dosed him for 50% of the pizza, garlic bread and ice cream and didn't do a square wave at all because they were running around like maniacs. He was like 103 when he came home, and BG was flat all night.

    But a party at an arcade, pool, bouncy house place? Yeah, I'd still stay. He has a CGM and all, but he is just not ready to handle that combo of food and activity. I would never ask another parent to take on any of the D-duties.
     
  11. virgo39

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    We have dropped DD off at two parties, both this year when she was almost 8 and the other after she turned 8. Both were at the houses of friends who were a few minutes a way and were willing to keep an eye on her portions for us... In both cases we were willing to stay, but DD and the moms were okay. We also gave DD a cellphone and she called us after she finished eating ( we routinely pre bolus 30 g and then catch up after the meal).
     
  12. Sarah Maddie's Mom

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    This^

    Never. To ask a host parent with 10-20 kids and a planned party to suddenly start checking blood sugar or supervising bolusing would, I think, be really out of line.
     
  13. Christopher

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    The other children don't have diabetes.

    You have gotten some good advice above. Ultimately, you need to do what feels right for you and your child. If that means staying when no one else does, so be it. As she gets older she will be better able to manage things like this herself.
     
  14. quiltinmom

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    I wouldn't have felt okay about leaving DS at a b-day party when he was 8.
    Even now, at age 11, I think he would probably forget to test/bolus at a party. There's just too much other fun stuff going on.

    On the other hand, since he can feel lows, I don't worry so much about him crashing. I would let him go before I would keep him home because of D. If we have highs to deal with later because he forgot to bolus....well, these things happen.

    I guess in the end it depends on how well she can care for herself without you there and what kinds of activities they will be doing. But if it were me, I'd stay if at all possible, pay my own way, offer to help out with the party, or whatever.
     
  15. bisous

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    Interesting that this topic is coming up. My DN (niece) is 6 and has type 1. Her mom just told me she left her at a party and let her bolus herself!!! My niece is very sweet and in some ways more responsible than my 9yo but I just cannot imagine leaving that kind of responsibility to a 6yo. But she was fine so maybe there is just a huge range of when a child is ready?
     
  16. stewkimmom

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    My DS is 8yrs old. (dx at 6yrs old) I haven't had to worry about dropping him off at a party because they are always at a "place".....bowling, Funzone, skating, etc.. It's never been an issue because parents often stay.

    I will say that right now, I wouldn't feel comfortable dropping him off. He typically runs low during parties. From experience, we know to bulk him up a bit before the part. Still, he tends to go low pretty quickly if it's a busy party.

    At two different parties this school year, I watched him ignore the low feeling. I watched him running and having a great time and then he stopped to hold his stomach. Then he shook it off and went on playing. Both times I pulled him aside to test and he was below 70, he just didn't want to be under 70, kwim?
     
  17. dshull

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    This is all so interesting to me because our son is 8 as well. I have not yet left him at a birthday party and I can't imagine doing so anytime soon. He is on MDI and does not give himself injections and does not know how to count carbs. I know he could start doing this at some point, but we have followed his lead and he just doesn't seem interested in doing these things right now. I have left him at parties that were very close by and I would come back when the food was coming out. But in retrospect at that one party both parents were pediatricians so I had a higher level of comfort.

    The biggest problem I have is that he desperately wants me to leave him at these parties and is actively annoyed that I stay. I think he finds it embarrassing if I am the only one there. The other parents never mind and seem relieved that they don't have to worry about him and that I will give them a hand. But what my son wants me to do is be invisible. I am already dreading the first time he is invited to a sleepover party. I don't know what I would do about that.
     
  18. jules12

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    I think baby steps are in order and you have to do what you feel best for the safety of your child.

    Around 8-9 was the time that this became a motivation factor for my son to start wanting to learn how to do more things. He wasn't able to go to people's houses or birthday parties without me until I was comfortable he could check his bg, bolus for food, and was able to tell me what he was doing over the phone. I needed to feel confident he was pushing the right buttons, etc.

    For sleepovers, again, we worked through stages - first he would call and would come home when everyone started to go to bed. Then he would call with his BG and if I was comfortable with that and his sensor didn't have any arrows, he would stay.

    Now at 13, he goes to friends houses, and sleepsover, etc. We did have to say no to an overnight four hours away recently because he doesn't do his own pump site changes and I felt it was too far to go without that basic care. I hate saying no and told him I will do my best to be sure he can participate but sometimes it just doesn't work out or he just has to deal with me being there.
     
  19. cdninct

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    I've only got a 4 year old, so I am weighing in where I have no experience, but perhaps you could use being left alone at parties as motivation to learn to carb count and do injections? That seems like a pretty powerful motivator to me!

    I am so not looking forward to hitting this stage!
     
  20. Christopher

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    Not judging at all, it sounds like you are handling things great. But did you consider sending him with syryinges in case his site failed?
     

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