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hmmm.... how to beef up a "bully target" kid?

Discussion in 'Parents Off Topic' started by czardoust, Dec 16, 2010.

  1. sam1nat2

    sam1nat2 Approved members

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    Your kid was blogened (sp) and no charges were filed? I'd have charges filed against those bullies right away!!

    I have heard nothing but great things about TKD and other martial arts.

    We have a kid across the street that was a bit of a bully, but moreso kids bullied him. I along with other neighbors called the policy about 5 years ago when he came after our kids with a kitchen knife saying he wanted to kill them.

    Fast forward---the parents put him in karate, I have never seen such POSITIVE change in a person!! This boy is so nice now, polite, respectful, I could go on and on. I'm certain that martial arts helped this boy who was headed nowhere fast to turn things around:D
     
  2. bgallini

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    I agree that a good TKD or karate program can do wonders for kids. I also agree that something needs to be done to get the school to pay attention. Pressing charges against the bully might be the way to go.
     
  3. StillMamamia

    StillMamamia Approved members

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    I'm so sorry for your child.:(

    I'd be raising heck and more at the school, filing charges, and obviously, doing like you want, taking the kid out of school.

    Why does your DH want the kid to finish off school:confused:
     
  4. DsMom

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    I'm so sorry you and your child have to go through this. I agree marital arts can be a great confidence builder--but I also agree with the person (people) who said beefing up is not necessarily the answer. I would focus on his emotional needs right now. I would worry that trying to change his appearance might send the message that his appearance NEEDS changing. He is not the one who needs changing--it's the bullies who do. I'm certain you love your child just as he is--maybe he just needs to learn how to love himself that way, too. I can see why you'd pull him out of the school--if they're not doing anything, you need to protect him first. But I would still be yelling and raising the roof with that school even after your son is gone. Your child has the right to a safe, secure environment in which to learn--and the school did not provide that. If only for the other kids left behind who perhaps cannot be homeschooled--those problems have to be addressed. Your son should see that what happened was not okay and the people responsible will not get away with it. Good luck. It's such a hard situation--and those of us on the outside can't know what it's like. Just let your son know every day how great he is and how none of it was his fault. He's a better person than those bullies can ever hope to be--and he'll grow to be a better man, too.
     
  5. Joretta

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    Just remember in school or out of school in most states the school must address bullying. I know in Florida parent or kids can call 1 800 speakoutif the school does not react in a timely manner. They can be fined. This might be a federal thing that I am not sure about.
     
  6. Ronin1966

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    Hello czardoust:

    Bullying is not acceptable, nor in any way "appropriate" for kids of any age. Does not matter what the reason is, or what excuse is offered for it happening. Your sons physical safety is an issue

    Now putting him in a "protective bubble" is not a great answer either. Whatever challenges he faces, we all have them, and how to interact with other people is necessary.

    Bullying must be stopped. He will not "like it" but, being hurt is not allowed. He needs to turn them in. You need to spend time in their office and let them know he's being hurt.

    Toughening your son will not solve the problem. But giving him the tools, a skill to not be hurt will require some time. Self protection, self defense on the most basic level takes some time. It is not a magic pill one swallows and POOF he becomes "Chuck Norris".

    What kinds of things are happening specifically? Same kids or different groups? Regardless you must start keeping notes with dates, times and places. Who was told and what they did about it :eek:

    There are some things to help but very few can simply be typed... regardless I'll help however I can, ok?
     
  7. Ronin1966

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    Hello Carolyn:

    Any news where things stand re: your son being bullyied these days?
     
  8. deafmack

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    First of all bludgeoning someone's head against a rock is assault and is a felony. Why is the school allowing this to happen? The school should be not allowing any bullying to happen in any form to happen period and that includes both verbal and physical bullying and if they are allowing this to continue I would go straight to the school board.
    My Nephew who is legally blind and has other disabilities was being bullied in public school until he transferred to the state school for the blind. He loves it there and it was
    the best move for him. He is doing weght lifting and really loves it. Of course he will never be really good at it but his self-confidence has increased so much it is a blessing for him.
    I guess what I am trying to say, is two things.
    1. Let the school know what happened to your son. Bullying is never to be tolerated and the school needs to have a strict policy on this.
    Also contact the police department about this. At the least file a police report.
    2. Having your son take some kind of class outside of school such as Karate, or weight lifting, etc will help build his self-confidence. He doesn't have to become
    great at it but it will help him build friends outside of the school and it will help him a great deal.
    Finally give your son a big hug from me and let him know I think he is awesome.
     
    Last edited: Mar 25, 2011
  9. Jacob'sDad

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    Marital arts is fine, but it will destroy his confidence when he thinks he can defend himself because he took karate and then a bigger kid beats the tar out of him anyway.

    The sh!t that is happening is beyond unacceptable. It is a serious crime. I would demand that something be done immediately (by the school) and would threaten to sue if they didn't comply. I would threaten to go to the media with it. I would call the police as well.
     
  10. Trev

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    Bullies suck! They are the problem, not your boy.

    I hope the school is taking a large part in this. I think by trying to fix your son, I am worried you may be sending him a huge message that somethings wrong with him, when really nothing is. I say love like you are, tell him he is smart, as he is, and maybe exercise with him, like weight training, or something. Just make sure he knows he is not the problem they are. I am thinking about you guys. I was skinny in school, and weight training over a summer before entering highschool made me feel good about myself. I also got into Muay Thai boxing in my late teens, which made me even more confident. But these were all self initiated. Cheers and hope it work out for you guys.
     
  11. Lee

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    Old thread - hopefully she will give us an update...
     
  12. Ronin1966

    Ronin1966 Approved members

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    Hello Jacob'sDad:

    <<is beyond unacceptable. It is a serious crime. I would call the police as well.

    No debate here. Filing charges would be reasonable and appropriate IMHV-fwiw.

    And while training will not "guarantee" a specific outcome, it will balance the odds quite nicely if required. Training provides an ability to be far more efficent, and effective. Training is a tool which time hones...
     
  13. czardoust

    czardoust Approved members

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    The last time Austin was beat up at school (which was two weeks ago), the principle called the sheriff and had the four boys arrested. Yes four, they dragged him to the corner of the football field and one held him down while 3 kicked, punched, and body slammed him. Why, because he spoke to a girl who I assume is/was a girlfriend of one of the boys. Austin got a little bloody but didn't pass out from that one. After that incident we bought his home school curriculum.
     

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