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help!!!!!

Discussion in 'Parents Off Topic' started by lotsoftots, Apr 2, 2012.

  1. lotsoftots

    lotsoftots Approved members

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    so way off subject..I need to vent and some input please...

    OMG my 16 year old is being stalked by a mentally challenged man ( he is 20 but acts more like 6)this kid has been around my house for years and years playing games with my boys but for some reason his mother has told him to hang with my 16 year old so now he stalks him every where he goes and to make things worse his mother has even drove around to find my child to tell him to hang with her son..now my kids have been taught to be respectful to adults so he hasnt told her no ..he will just say Im hanging with my gf or this person ..she tells her son that my son is being a punk and to tell her if he wont play with him, she will have another talk with him or she will tell on him ( my son) to me. he rides his bike from my front yard to the said ALL day long waiting for someone to come out ..this is getting carried away looks like mommy here is going to have to talk to his mother..bad thing is she is also like her son .:0/
     
    Last edited: Apr 2, 2012
  2. danielsmom

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    Have a talk with mom with another adult(husband) anyone else for backup ...then proceed to file restraining order against the kid if necessary.. This is not something you need to worry and stress about.This mom is trying to pawn the kid off, but there must be some other programs her son can get involved with if he has special needs. Your son is not a babysitter.
     
  3. LizinTX

    LizinTX Approved members

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    I would call whatever family type services you have in your area, and report this family to them, so they can get the services they need. Then either with brochures in hand, or a representative from the family support place inform the mother that neither your son nor any other member of your family will be responsible for her son.

    This way not only are you telling her to stop forcing your son to babysit, but this also gives her options. A win/win.

    Good luck and let us know what happens.
     
  4. TheFormerLantusFiend

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    Sounds to me like the issue is the mother, not the son. I suggest you contact somebody like the department of children and family services- whoever deals with neglect of dependents- and talk to them.
     
  5. MamaLibby

    MamaLibby Approved members

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    Perfect idea. there are plenty of options in several areas for clubs, activities, and jobs for young adults with varying disabilities. While I understand in a way where the mother is coming from, your son isn't a babysitter and the parents of this young man need to understand that.
     
  6. sooz

    sooz Approved members

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    If you think this might become a potentially dangerous situation, and you are using the word "stalking" to describe the 20 year old's actions, you should call the police and also get the restraining order that was suggested. A twenty year old should not be allowed to "stalk" a minor child, even if, or maybe especially if he has mental challenges.
     
  7. lotsoftots

    lotsoftots Approved members

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    he use to go to the high school up till last summer, and for a short time he was working..but now he stays home or is off riding his bike and where do you think he is riding his bike yea to my house...the min the first batch of kids gets home from school he is out in front of my house...Saturday and Sunday's he is there by 10 am
     
  8. lotsoftots

    lotsoftots Approved members

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    I dont feel like he is dangerous..he is very childish more like a 6 year old he does have temper tantrums to where he will smack himself and cry then he runs off. I have never seen him lay a hand on anyone before not saying it couldnt happen :(
    By stalking I mean he rides from the front of my house to the side of my house over and over and over again for hours..its to the point I started humming the theme song to jaws when I see him
     
  9. deafmack

    deafmack Approved members

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    I think this is a case a parent with a disabled child not knowing what resources are available for her son since he is now out of school. I would check to see what activities, etc are available in the area for this boy to attend and then give the information to his mother. Tell her that he can't spend his time outside of your home every waking moment. Let her know what is available for her son in the area and then strongly encourage her to
    get her son into one of the programs that are suitable for him.

    I know that this mother is probably strongly conflicted about what to do with her son. My Niece is going to be facing the same problem in a few years.
    What to do with a child who is grown and disabled. Once they are out of school where do they go?

    There are solutions out there but it takes work to find them and then get into those programs and solutions.
     
  10. Beach bum

    Beach bum Approved members

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    Yep, she said it.
    This woman is taking advantage of the fact that you have taught your children to be respectful to others. She is being disrespectful of your son (and your entire family) by basically dumping her kid with him. She is also doing her son a disservice not having him involved in a program. As Shirley said, your son is not a babysitter.

    Time for a talk, and she seems pretty over bearing (considering she drives him around looking for your son), I'd bring someone with you. I would gently suggest that he would be best suited for a day program. I'm hoping that it's a matter of she just doesn't know what to do with a grown disabled son. I know around her there are many programs, and depending on his ability many of the grocery stores, Walmart and some factories employ adults. It's tasks based on their abilities. For example, their is one boy who has Autism and he loves repetition. He works for a shredding company. He goes in to the business and shreds all their papers. His mom wrote that he loves it and he loves that his days are kept busy. Maybe you can give some suggestions to her...

    Good luck and keep us posted.
     
  11. hawkeyegirl

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    I suspect you would have a difficult time getting any sort of restraining order against this boy. In most states, unless you are in a domestic relationship with the other person, the standard is pretty high. I also suspect that because of the man's mental issues, a court would be reluctant to violate him on any sort of restraining order.

    In your shoes, I would talk with the mom and tell her that from now on, her son is welcome at your house by invitation only. Period. If he shows up with or without her and is not invited, you will ask him to leave, and if he does not, you will call the police. Now, the police will not likely arrest him for tresspassing, but it will let them know that you are serious.

    I have no idea how these people are tracking your children down at various locations around town, but I'd tell my son if they show up where he is, that he is not to engage them, but is to leave and go somewhere else, preferably somewhere on private property where they cannot follow. If you do not give them the attention that they are looking for, they will find a new family to harass.
     

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