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Frustrating!!

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by Just Me, Mar 15, 2008.

  1. Just Me

    Just Me Approved members

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    Have any of you had issues with your teen diabetic being stubborn enough to refuse to eat or refuse to take insulin when he gets mad at Mom or Dad? My almost 13 year old gets mad because he's been refused something or feels he's mistreated so he throws a fit and has refused either food or insulin ... what do you do?
     
  2. Nelson

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    Boy, that is one I dread and one to nip in the bud fast. With our 10 year old we tell him that we'll be sad, but we can't control him forever and always, so it's up to him. I call his bluff every time and so far he's backed down every time. And frankly, I'd rather let him test me once until he goes into a mild DKA and go into the hospital than have him hold me hostage regularly to the long-term detriment of his health.

    Good luck with this. I just hope ours never really goes there for real.
     
  3. Abby-Dabby-Doo

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    My child is only 7 so I'm sorry I can't relate (yet)!
    I would have to say if I was in your shoes, right now, I would take Nelson's advice. I would have to say I would call my child's bluff.
    Sorry, I don't feel like I'm much help?!
     
  4. lynn

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    My son with d is only four, but I do have three teenagers.
    I remember my mom saying that teens will often, "cut off their noses to spite their faces" when they get mad.
    That used to make me so mad as a teen!! I KNEW that she just didn't understand me! Now I watch my teens and laugh. What are they thinking?
    I agree that you should call his bluff. Thirteen is an age to begin to taking ownership of his diabetes too. This could naturally lead into that.
    And it is time to begin the healthy separation from mom and dad--it's a long process. I believe if the groundrules are laid down early then the teen years will be more pleasant for everyone. Nobody (kids or parents) should have sooo much control that the others feel held hostage to that person. All kids will buck and fight parents at times so I'm not insinuating that the kids should NEVER feel controled--there is a definate time to "lay down the law" and have the final word.
    I think I'm beginning to ramble.
    I hope you were able to get something helpful out of my words. I dread the day that Nathan throws in my face the fact that I care more about his health than he does!
    Lynn
     
  5. Jeff

    Jeff Founder, CWD

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    Diabetes care is simply not negotiable.

    I would suggest calling a "time out" for diabetes care no matter what else is going on. Discuss this when you're not arguing and make it clear that even if you're mad about something else, you'll never be mad about diabetes. Be firm, never yell, but also never yield.

    Refusing food is easy to manage if you're using an insulin pump or MDI. You just don't take a bolus. If you're using NPH and Regular, refusing food can cause very serious problems. Yet another reason to switch. (You don't indicate your son's regimen.)

    As he approaches driving age, you will have an incredibly powerful motivational tool -- the car keys. Use it. Require attentive diabetes care for the privilege of driving. This doesn't mean that he has to have a 6.5 A1c. It means he has to actively participate, checking blood sugars, bolusing for food, problem solving highs and lows with your help.

    I've known many kids who change their behavior in response to a car.
     
    hawkeyegirl likes this.
  6. kodasmom

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    My 14 yr old son has not tried anything like that....yet. I'm sure he will try it at some point. I will just have to remember that I do have control over other things.......cell phone, computer time, pstation time, tv in his room, 4 wheeler......etc. I bet I can get him to "negotiate" with me!
     
  7. Just Me

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    Thanks for your replies ... I should note that my teen is MDI with novolog and lantus. Was diagnosed about a year ago. Has been doing his own testing and shots since the beginning. Has been very responsible about his diabetes until the last few months. A1C was always under 7, and lately his numbers are going crazy. His monitor shows a month average of over 170. I think there are a few reasons ... I think he's coming out of the honeymoon stage and has started puberty. I am really not looking forward to this stage.
     
  8. MamaC

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    The puberty and the end of the honeymoon can wreak havoc with what you have known as normal for yous son's diabetes. And really, 170, while it won't give you a 6.0 a1c, is not too bad...maybe a 7.5? I asked a few days ago about teen a1c's and had solid response that it could/would run on the high side at this age.

    As Jeff so wisely points out, diabetes care is not optional or negotiable. And he's right, the shiny car keys are a huge motivational tool. I can even get Tom to study his biology and Latin with those keys dangling over his head!

    Good luck. Stand your ground.

    Becky
     
  9. Just Me

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    I think that his frustrations with the disease are setting in too ... It's just not fair he can't eat when and what he wants to ... He is probably the worst person for diabetes to happen to ... was always a big sweet eater ... and while he's always been a good eater (loves fruits and veggies) he is now also a teenager. A busy one at that. Trying to fit in a healthy meal on the run is hard, and when they are with their friends I can't control what he's eating. I know he cheats. A test of over 500 the other night proved that. It's just so hard!! I feel so bad for him. But, hey ... who ever said life was fair?? It's what you DO with the hand you are dealt that shows your fortitude.
     
  10. wilf

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    This is a challenging time for sure.

    I would suggest trying either Regular or NPH for times he's heading out with his friends and there's going to be lots of chowing down. These are so-called "grazing" or "party" insulins, because once they start working the peak is extended over quite a few hours. You don't need to carb count as precisely either - just keep track with the meter of how you're doing BG-wise.
     
  11. Just Me

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    I've never heard of NPH or Regular... Are they different kinds or brands of insulin? If there was something that would ease these issues, wouldn't the endo's share that info?
     
  12. Abby-Dabby-Doo

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    I would really suggest looking into the insulin pump! Any of them. Omnipod if he doesn't want the tubing, untethered if he just wants to wear it for food boluses, or the normal everyday pump wearer. I'd be surprised if you'd get high numbers from him snacking then (other than your normal where did that high come from- I'm not saying highs don't happen)... it's just a matter of pushing some buttons instead of drawing up a syringe or the pen. A lot of food grazers have good luck with pumping. Teenage years can be down right hard alone.
    Chin up!
     
  13. Gaia

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    :)We are dealing w/ this right now actually. I was freaking out until I talked to his endo. Joey is becoming really hostile when it comes time for injection, even going so far as not to eat carbs so he wont need insulin. It was actually one of the reasons school called on Monday. His endo told me that as long as he's getting his Lantus at night, not to worry about him not eating carbs. I dont really understand it but thats what she said. Joey has been running low for awhile 70-100. Which DOES make sense since he's refusing carbs. Ive tried to explain to him that diabetic or not, not eating is going to make him feel lousy and that its only going to hurt him in the long run

    He refuses to consider pumping right now. One of the reasons he's having problems w/ injections is it hurts him. He's thin as it is so finding a fatty place for the needle isnt easy & he says it hurts too much in his stomach. He hates anything on him for long. Doesnt wear a watch & his Medic Alert necklace comes off the minute he comes home. He sleeps in shorts or underwear winter or summer & hardly ever feels the cold. Half the time he knocks his blanket on the floor. He feels he wont be able to sleep if he has 'something on him'. I didnt realize there were pumps that didnt have to be worn 24/7. Im definately looking in to it.

    Btw...he just turned 12 in November so Im sure beginning puberty has a little to do w/ this. So, your not alone!!
    :)
     
  14. bgallini

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    My son is 17, dx at 15. He's never tried to not eat or not take his shot but he has gone thru phases of not testing enough (ie before driving).

    For your son, I'd suggest you get him on a pump b/c it's much more flexible for eating and going out with friends, etc. You can offer to help with site changes if he doesn't want to do that.

    Whether you go to the pump or not, you can find consequences for not taking injections or not testing. Since he's almost 13, I would guess video games, tv, computer, and hanging out with friends are his biggest joys. Set some rules about testing and injections and have consequences to fit the infraction. (doesn't test 1x in day, loses 30 min of video games; skips injection when having cake, lose a day of tv time...you and he can figure out what makes sense to you)

    But since he's on the lantus & novolog, technically it's okay that he doesn't eat when you want or how much you want, right? (Alex never did lantus so I don't know those details). Make sure the Lantus dosage is as accurate as it can be and he should be okay w/o eating. If you take yourself out of that power struggle, he will have to stop fighting too and will probably eat.

    Another thing to think about is your reaction to his high numbers. Even if he does everything right....tests on time, eats on time, takes the right dose of novalog....sometimes he's going to have high numbers. If you have been reacting, sit him down and explain that you know he's trying and you are just frustrated with the diabetes and how it's so unpredictable. Then try your hardest not to react to those numbers. Let him react and if he knows what to do in response, let him handle it. If he doesn't, help him think thru it and respond in ways to let him know that he's doing fine but the diabetes just s*cks.

    The teen years can be tough diabetes or not.

    Good luck

    Barbie
     

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