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Frustrated!

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by klostien, Sep 22, 2011.

  1. klostien

    klostien Approved members

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    Why is it that no one seems to understand anything about diabetes??? No matter who you talk to they always seem to think that you are over reacting. My mother even tells me that I need to relax!:eek::eek::eek:
    My daughter was only diagnosed in January 2011. I have so much still to learn and am always concerned when her numbers are out of whack. Now, seriously, am I over reacting, or don't you have to be on top of all aspects of diabetes?:confused::confused::confused:
     
  2. Christopher

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    Diabetes is like many diseases, unless you have it or care for someone who does, most people don't understand the day to day issues living with it. You are not over-reacting, you need to do whatever you think is best to take care of your child.

    One of the topics that comes up with the newly diagnosed is how many people (even family members) just don't understand what it is like to manage diabetes and how irritating it is when they don't understand. I think there will always be people who just don't "get it" and it will always be a source of frustration for people with diabetes and their caregivers. From my personal experience, it was much more frustrating in the early months of diagnosis, and as time went on I became more tolerant of people and tried more often to educate them rather than let it get me mad. So while the level of ignorance didn?t really change, my approach to it did, and it made things better.

    One of the issues with the general perception of diabetes and its consequences, I think, is the standard of care and how it has changed quite a bit in the last generation. So there is at least one if not two generations who have the perception that people with diabetes have to eat (or not eat) certain things, have much shorter life spans and usually have complications like blindness and amputations. They have that perception because that is what they have seen. They have an Uncle or a Cousin or a sister of a friend of a friend who has experienced those things.

    However, I believe within a generation or two that perception will change, as our children and their children, who are receiving a different (better) standard of care, will be living longer and with less complications. Essentially, more "normal" lives. Or at least I hope so. :cwds:
     
  3. akgiauque

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    Because

    No one loves your kids like you do.
    We over react all of the time, sometimes it is even necessary. Grandma gave Kaylee 10 grams to bring her up from a low then input it into the pump and gave her insulin. The one time we had to use Gucagon, I yelled at her. A Normal overreaction, That is what stress is about.
     
  4. thebestnest5

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    I understand. I try to look at it objectively and remind myself there are lots of diseases/conditions that I don't know anything about. But, then again, I listen and don't tell those people to relax, or what they can/can't eat...:eek:

    That's one of the helpful things about this forum...we get it.
     
  5. mommabear

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    Very well said:D:cwds:
     
  6. VinceysMom

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    My mother, my sisters, ALL said that to me in one way or another... they even said that they thought that I was "loosing it" and that I "talked" about it too much. Nice, huh? :eek:
     
  7. Mel

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    This drives me nuts. Yes, I talk about medical issues a lot. It's because they are 24/7/365. We have to deal with these issues and diseases EVERY DAY for the rest of our lives. There is no break. We don't get "better."
    Family and friends who do not have the same problems or any problem for that matter, only get a glimpse into what our life is like when they spend time with us. They get to walk away and move on. We don't get to walk away... ever.

    I completely understand the frustration with non-D persons. I also wish they'd take a moment and think about the impact of telling me that their Mom has "diabetes and has only had 3 heart attacks" or their brother has only "ridden in an ambulance 4 times due to low blood sugars." Geez, folks. Come on now.:(
     
  8. klostien

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    Really nice! :cwds: I went to a Doctor's appointment for myself yesterday and spent more than half of the appointment talking about my daughter's diabetes and she was not even with me. :D
     
  9. klostien

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    Amen to that! I don't expect people to understand what we have to deal with on a daily basis... I just wish they would at least understand that this is a life threatening disease that must be monitered all of the time. My step son told me that I just needed to let things go and that my daughter would eventually level out. He also told me about a book he was reading and that the mind is so powerful it can cure the diabetes. Just has not been a good week I guess.
     
  10. denise3099

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    I did the same exact thing!!! :p LOL.

    Look I live, eat, and breathe this stuff. I read about D every day. I am wound tight and I live this stuff 24/7.

    But. . . Nobody else wants to hear it. It's boring since it does not affect them. Just like I don't want to hear somebody go on about their illnesses or other problems--I mean I care but geez, shut up already. :eek: So I walk around all cool trying not to bore anybody or freak ppl out. :cool:

    But, hey, that's what this site is for!!!! :D To share and learn with ppl who get it. You get my D jokes. You know when big things are no big deal and when little things really are. :cwds:
     
  11. swimmom

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    Yes, people can be thoughtless and irritating.

    While my daughter's diabetes is like constant background radiation in my life (always there, always considered), I'm very careful about discussing it with others. It can be life threatening of course, but it's also manageable. We focus on living a full, active life. If I focus on the difficulties and often discuss those with friends, it can undermine my daughter's ability to be a normal kid in the neighborhood. It could define her in their perception. D is part of her, but it doesn't define her.

    Along those lines, my daughter's health concerns are HER private information. When your child is very small, it doesn't seem like a big deal to discuss their medical conditions with others. As she has matured, I really try to respect that the details of her medical care (her highs and lows, her site issues, whatever) are HERS to share or not share. Not mine. Of course, school and other authorities who need to be aware of her condition are informed. I'm talking more about sharing with friends and family. It's ok for me to complain about ME being sleepy or grouchy (because I was up checking her several times), but not ok for me to spill out details about Lauren. She's well adjusted about her D and can share or not share information as she wishes. She doesn't like uninformed adults questioning her about her health or dietary issues. I don't want to set her up for that by chatting about her health with others.

    So it can be a hard balance of sometimes needing to share MY experiences and frustrations without disregarding my daughter's right to keep information about her body and her health private.
     
  12. virgo39

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    I agree with a lot of what the pp's have said (especially Christopher), but want to ask: Do you think you are overreacting? I know that after DD's dx, I was having a really hard time ... I was extremely stressed, fearful, stressed, tearful, anxious, ... did I mention stressed? At the same time, I think that those are all pretty "normal" reactions to the dx. Even though it's been almost two years, I still have periods where things seem harder to deal with.

    For me, the thing about diabetes that drives me mad is the crazy balancing act between the two moms that I'm supposed to be:

    Unflappable, "let children be children", nothing is different, "treat the number and move on" mom​

    And​

    Vigilant, attentive, always looking for patterns related to food, activity, sleep, adrenaline, sickness mom​

    Also, speaking for myself, I do not react well when my mom tells me to "relax" (though perhaps this is because it is not generally murmured softly while I am being handed a glass of wine and listening to soothing music ...). But the fact is that sometimes, she's right :eek:.
     
  13. MamaTuTu

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    I know how you feel... Wish I didnt but I do. I often feel so alone most likely because others dont understand or at least I dont think they do. Hope you are feeling better. Diabetes SUCKS!!!
     
  14. lisac

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    I can totaly relate...as a family (my husband and I), decided to homeschool our children. Part of the reason we decided to do this is because of Hadlee's D. It's not the only reason, we were also VERY aggrivated, dissapointed, etc. with the school system. Anyway, when I told my dad, he got VERY upset. He told me I "had to let go" of Hadlee. Ummmm, first of all, she's MY kid, not his, plus there is NO nurse at our elementary school. So am I supposed to just let my 5 year old go to school and take care of herself?!?! Heck, no!! The teachers in our area, they couldn't "notice" that my (non-d) daughter was constantly made fun of. Do I really expect them to "notice" Hadlee's bg dropping? I'm her mother and sometimes I don't notice, she has almost no low bg symptoms until it's dangerous.

    Then, on the other side, my father-in-law sent my husband a book of herbs that would "cure" his D. Obviously, we just threw it away. Then, a while later, he wanted to know why we wouldn't put Hadlee on this "treatment" and take her off insulin!!! He actually got mad at us!!

    I'm just glad I have my husband. He's great to talk to:) He always listens, even discusses things!:) I don't know how single parents do it! Kudos to them:D
     
  15. mom4JOIZ

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    That pretty much sums it up for me. I like to appear to be the "we've got this covered, treat and move on, not problem" mom, but it takes a lot of work and knowledge in order to get there.

    And umm... I am on the boards at 4 am cause....I'm up.... dealing with, thinking about D.:cwds:
     

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