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Frustrated with D and people telling me..

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by Carseatmama, Dec 13, 2009.

  1. Carseatmama

    Carseatmama Approved members

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    that I am spoiling Kadie Bug. Yes she can be a stinker at times without it being d related. BUT how do you know??!!! There has been times when I get so mad at her because I'm busy cleaning or doing whatever and she starts throwing fits because I can't cater to her. Then I check her bs and it turns out she is 400-500:eek: Or again I'm busy doing something and she says she feels low so I tell her to check her bs, she does and it is 32:eek: How can/do you deal with these fits? And 32 !! She must have felt so horrible. Right before she told me she felt low I sent her to her room for a time out, what if she would have passed out or worse!! AND when we have snow storms and school is called off I have to call into work because I have no one to watch her. Single mom already barely working. My mom used to be ok with watching her when she was on shots. Now that she has the pump my mom dosen't want to deal w it. She is afraid she will push the wrong button and hurt her grandchild. I understand her concerns BUT I need my mom! I feel it is also not fair to Kadie that she dosen't get to stay the night at Grandma's house anymore:( Let me see, do I have anymore rants. Oh yes, ever since Dx she hasn't been able to spend much time with her grandpa at all, because he just dosen't get any of it. I just want to scream, there should be a scream icon on here. And I'm tired of people thinking she will grow out of it, that the pump magically fixed her and does all the work for us, that sugar caused this and all the other stupid mis conceptions :mad:
    Ok I'm done for now...thanks for reading:cwds:
     
  2. Flutterby

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    all I can say is I know how you feel.. people that give you a hard time about the way you treat her just don't know.. they don't understand.. while I don't let kaylee get away with throwing fits.. if she's low or high, we deal with that first, and then discuss it.. she's got to feel horrible so I can understand her behavoir, but she also has to know that she needs a little control.. thats hard for a 6 (almost 7) year old, let alone having diabetes to complicate things.:rolleyes:

    ignore those that aren't helpful.. just let it roll of your back.. your doing a terrific job!:)
     
  3. Omo2three

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    sorry, d stinks.....go ahead and scream, heck do you mind if i join you?

    (((HUGS)))

    you need support closer to home so you can have a break once in awhile....any cwd near you?
     
  4. Carseatmama

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    Not that I know of...I met one lady a couple weeks ago with a 10 year old boy that has d. They only live 15 minutes away. Kadie's daddy is really good with helping out, he takes her quite a bit, so I do get breaks, thank goodness.
     
  5. fredntan2

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    raising 3 girls is hard enough, but throw in D. You just scream away.

    Do you have FMLA?

    Hang in there. Have you checked area elem schools. I'm sure there's some other cwd around you.
     
  6. momma_fish2007

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    Ooooh yes. I can relate to the absent grandparent of a diabetic very well. My MIL and SIL are wonderful and very involved. They are my only two sitters. My parents are just so scared and too lazy to learn about how things work and just WON"T LISTEN when you're telling them ANYTHING about d. It's like fine, you want to wait til Julian is old enough to take care of this himself? What kind of a close relationship can you forge then?
     
  7. RosemaryCinNJ

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    I hear you!! I test, THEN decide if shes having a temper tantrum due to her age, or her BG at the time..then I deal with it accordingly. If shes acting bratty and unreasonable and her BG is good..she gets a little time out. If BG is high, I correct her..and KNOW that in 15 min or so she will be back to normal and feeling better. (they sure do feel horrible when high and as children, they are reacting to the only way they know how..to cry..whine etc)
    Of course I explain to her when she IS high ..this is why you are feeling crabby...etc.
    Its your child and you know your child best...tell those who think you are "spoiling" your child to feel free and jump in to give you a break once in a while and then they can pass judgement on what you go through on an average day with a type 1 child..:) I so get what you are saying AND FEELING!
     
  8. Toni

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    I also will urge you to try to get intermittent FMLA in place if you have not already done so. This will allow you to use your own sick and vacation time or unpaid time off to take care of your daughter, doctor's apointments. You get up to three months unpaid leave a year. This can save your job. The grandmom who will only mind the grandchild if they can give shots as opposed to pushing buttons on the pump, that has got to be a first! :confused: What we do if my Mom is working and we also are working. We have a "Grandma" book. Has all the emergency numbers, what to do for lows, etc. We have her meals written out and carb count given for the meal and E is not to deviate from it unless she calls us. E (or Mom) calls before bolusing, gives BS, carb count, bolus amount, presses button. Then, using the ESCAPE button on MM pump (or you can use bolus history), we can double-check the bolus. We know from the bolus amount given with the carb count if pump is correct. Bolus amount given can also be checked right after. Have your Mom call you on the phone and you handle it over the phone. It works out very well. On the Ping, quick way to check bolus recently given? Haven't even opened our Ping backup. On Animas 2020 you could get a lot of info such as IOB, etc. under "status." It would be good if there is a quick way to easily see bolus just given. Don't remember.
     
  9. liasmommy2000

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    (((HUGS))), I'm sorry.

    I do have helpful and available grandparents and a sometimes sort of helpful dh. Even so it is freaking hard. DD also has ADHD and that makes it so much harder when it comes to behavioral/compliance issues in regards to D. Especially now when it seems puberty is just around the corner.

    Anyway (((HUGS))), it really does bite at times.
     
  10. Hollyb

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    So sorry you are having such a tough time.

    One tiny idea: if your mom is watching Katie, perhaps you could just use her pump for her basal and let your mom give any food boluses by injection? Would Katie be OK with that? It would at least allow you to have a little break...
     
  11. Carseatmama

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    Well, I do have the FMLA in place but I don't get any PTO or vacation days. I'm only concidered casual. No benefits of any kind.
     
  12. Becky Stevens mom

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    Just wanted to send you a big (((hug))) Im sorry that you dont have help. I hope that you meet up with another Mom of a CWD that could trade off with you. Would you consider advertising in the newspaper? Maybe even start a support group, if no time to get together you could just have it be phone and or email support group for now. That may be a way to get d families together from you area and help each other with babysitting.
     
  13. frizzyrazzy

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    don't even get me started on grandmothers who are too afraid to care.

    I know you didn't ask for advice at all, so forgive me for jumping in with it, but maybe you could look into finding a reliable babysitter, maybe though your endo's office? Obviously your mom isn't going to change (I've learned this with my mil) so either you keep being resentful of the situation of you say that THIS situation (your lack of a caregiver) won't be the thing that makes you mad/sad/frustrated. Channel that scream feeling into doing something to make the situation work for YOU...not the other way around. :)
     
  14. Toni

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    FMLA is unpaid leave, but a lot of places make you use all your own vacation and sick time before you tap into the unpaid leave. Sorry you don't get vacation or sick, that is rotten. It is still good you have it, even if you really can't afford to use it much. So you can keep the job. You need to work out a plan with the Grandma and try to get her onboard with you over the cell. It can work really well. My mother cannot give a shot; never has, but she can measure the food we tell her too, and make sure the right numbers are being put into the pump. However, once we have bolus amount, we don't even need her to do this; can figure out if it is correct ourselves.
     
  15. cindyrn6617

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    Sorry....I know, D sucks! :(:(:(
     
  16. Sherry Wendi's Mom

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    I think this is a great suggestion if dd is up to it. If she misses going to Grams she might be willing to do shot for food. That will give Gram some time "around" the pump so she has time to get interested and/or used to it. She might even get the gumption to learn about it. I understand technophobia especially for the older generation. JMO

    As far as the behavior issues, I totally understand. Even though Wendi is thirteen and knows "how not to behave", when her sugar is in the upper 300-400 range she turns into a different kid. She has even gotten in a couple knock-down drag-out screaming matches with DH and I before we learned it was the sugar doing the yelling. We now are able to get her to take her BG reading, correct and then discuss the innapropriateness of the behavior. Most times she is just as mad at herself as we are.
     
    Last edited: Dec 14, 2009
  17. GaPeach

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    I hate that D can captivate us or our children at times if no one is willing to help oversee D management.:( Our only family member that is capable is our oldest daughter (22yo).

    We have been fortunate that sleepovers do happen because friends parents are willing to assume basic care. DD is 11yo so she can count carbs and use pump (also was able to do MDI before pump).

    As far as attitude and "spoiling" goes, it's a tough call with or without D. Yes, BG does effect behavior but also there are other factors - personality, exhaustion, excitement, family/friend conflicts, etc.

    I have 6 children and have always had to discipline them differently. I do hear from the siblings, "Mom, you never would have let me..." regardless of whether the other sibling is the D child or not.

    Bottom line, you have to go with your mommy instinct. Make a decision and believe in it. Don't let others call your parenting style into question. I believe that as parents, we sometimes get it right and sometimes we get it wrong. BUT, the most important factor is that our heart motivation be that all decisions are made with our child's best interest at the center.
     
  18. spamid

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    HUGS!!!!!!!

    Vent away!! We understand!
     

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